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<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

In this handout image provided by the Kansas City Chiefs, Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs pose during the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LVII Ring Ceremony at Union Station on June 15, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri.

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Kansas City Chiefs

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni speaks in a post-game interview after Super Bowl LVII between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday, February 12th, 2023 at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, AZ.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Philadelphia Eagles

Head Coach Kyle Shanahan of the San Francisco 49ers in the locker room before the NFC Wild Card playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks at Levi's Stadium on January 14, 2023 in Santa Clara, California. The 49ers defeated the Seahawks 41-23.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: San Francisco 49ers

Joe Burrow walks off the field during the AFC Championship NFL football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday, Jan. 29, 2023, in Kansas City, Mo.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Cincinnati Bengals

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen (17) is sacked by Detroit Lions linebacker James Houston (59) during a regular season NFL football game between the Buffalo Bills and the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving Day on November 24, 2022 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Buffalo Bills

Jerry Jones the owner of the Dallas Cowboys against the Tennessee Titans at Nissan Stadium on December 29, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Dallas Cowboys

Head coach Doug Pederson of the Jacksonville Jaguars celebrates after the game against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on January 01, 2023 in Houston, Texas.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Jacksonville Jaguars

Quarterback Daniel Jones #8 of the New York Giants after defeating the Carolina Panthers 21-19 in a pre-season football game at MetLife Stadium on August 18, 2023 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New York Giants

Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings reacts while being hit during a passing attempt against the Washington Commanders during the second half of the game at FedExField on November 6, 2022 in Landover, Maryland.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Minnesota Vikings

Vita Vea #50 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers sacks Lamar Jackson #8 of the Baltimore Ravens during the first quarter at Raymond James Stadium on October 27, 2022 in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Baltimore Ravens

Los Angeles Chargers linebacker Amen Ogbongbemiga (57) lays on the turf as Jacksonville Jaguars place kicker Riley Patterson (10) is mobbed by teammates after hitting a game winning field goal in an AFC Wild Card game at TIAA Bank Field.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Los Angeles Chargers

MIAMI GARDENS, FLORIDA - JULY 27: Head coach Mike McDaniel of the Miami Dolphins stretches with Tua Tagovailoa #1 during training camp at Baptist Health Training Complex on July 27, 2022 in Miami Gardens, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Miami Dolphins

Head coach Pete Carroll and Geno Smith #7 of the Seattle Seahawks during the second half of the preseason game against the Chicago Bears at Lumen Field on August 18, 2022 in Seattle, Washington.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Seattle Seahawks

Baker Mayfield #6 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers warms up during a preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Raymond James Stadium on August 11, 2023 in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Head coach Dan Campbell of the Detroit Lions looks on against the Buffalo Bills at Ford Field on November 24, 2022 in Detroit, Michigan.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Detroit Lions

Head coach Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on before the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium on November 28, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Pittsburgh Steelers

Head coach Ron Rivera of the Washington Commanders looks on prior to a game against the Atlanta Falcons at FedExField on November 27, 2022 in Landover, Maryland.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Washington Commanders

Jordan Love #10 of the Green Bay Packers works out during training camp at Ray Nitschke Field on August 01, 2023 in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin. (

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Green Bay Packers

Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots look on prior to a game against the Buffalo Bills at Highmark Stadium on January 08, 2023 in Orchard Park, New York.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New England Patriots

Aaron Rodgers attends the 149th Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs on May 06, 2023 in Louisville, Kentucky.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New York Jets

Deshaun Watson #4 of the Cleveland Browns runs a drill during the Cleveland Browns OTAs at CrossCountry Mortgage Campus on May 31, 2023 in Berea, Ohio.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Cleveland Browns

Will Levis waits to be drafted in the green room backstage during the first round of the 2023 NFL Draft at Union Station on April 27, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Tennessee Titans

Heather Carr, Brooklyn Carr, Dallas Carr, Derek Carr of the New Orleans Saints, are seen after Carr signed a four-year contract with the Saints at New Orleans Saints Indoor Practice Facility on March 11, 2023 in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New Orleans Saints

Bryce Young #9 of the Carolina Panthers attends Carolina Panthers Training Camp at Wofford College on July 27, 2023 in Spartanburg, South Carolina. (

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Carolina Panthers

Desmond Ridder #4 of the Atlanta Falcons carries the ball against the Baltimore Ravens during the second half of the game at M&amp;T Bank Stadium on December 24, 2022 in Baltimore, Maryland.