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Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

FLOWERY BRANCH, GEORGIA - MAY 14: Quarterback Kirk Cousins #18 of the Atlanta Falcons speaks to the media during OTA offseason workouts at the Atlanta Falcons training facility on May 14, 2024 in Flowery Branch, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Atlanta Falcons

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Mike Tanier has covered the NFL for 20 years for Football Outsiders, the New York Times, The Messenger, Bleacher Report, Sports on Earth, and other ancient empires. He&#8217;s a co-author of Aaron Schatz&#8217;s FTN Football Almanac and the author of the Y/A novel for grownups Long Snapper&#8217;s Blues. He lives off Exit 3 of the New Jersey Turnpike with his long-suffering wife, two sons and a 70-pound American Bully named Frank the Tank. His new Substack, <a href="https://miketanier.substack.com/">Too Deep Zone</a>, has officially launched.
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Mike Tanier

Will Levis #8 of the Tennessee Titans signs autographs before the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars in Nashville, Tennessee at Nissan Stadium on January 7, 2024 in Houston, Texas. The Titans defeated the Jaguars 28-20.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Tennessee Titans

EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY - JUNE 06: (L-R) Daniel Jones #8 and head coach Brian Daboll of the New York Giants during New York Giants OTA Offseason Workouts at NY Giants Quest Diagnostics Training Center on June 06, 2024 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Luke Hales/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Giants

COSTA MESA, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 13: Jim Harbaugh of the Los Angeles Chargers at the podium before an NFL football practice at Hoag Performance Center on June 13, 2024 in Costa Mesa, California. (Photo by Ric Tapia/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Los Angeles Chargers

Ray Ratto

Kyler Murray #1 and Hjalte Froholdt #72 of the Arizona Cardinals walk onto the field before the game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on December 24, 2023 in Chicago, Illinois.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Arizona Cardinals

Owner Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots reacts before Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefsat Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New England Patriots

Washington Commanders offensive coordinator Kliff Kingsbury during mini camp at Commanders Park in Ashburn, VA on June 12, 2024. (Photo by John McDonnell/ for The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Washington Commanders

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA - JANUARY 07: Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper walks the field before the game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Bank of America Stadium on January 07, 2024 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Carolina Panthers

In this handout image provided by the Kansas City Chiefs, Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs pose during the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LVII Ring Ceremony at Union Station on June 15, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Kansas City Chiefs

Philadelphia Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni speaks in a post-game interview after Super Bowl LVII between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday, February 12th, 2023 at State Farm Stadium in Glendale, AZ.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Philadelphia Eagles

Head Coach Kyle Shanahan of the San Francisco 49ers in the locker room before the NFC Wild Card playoff game against the Seattle Seahawks at Levi's Stadium on January 14, 2023 in Santa Clara, California. The 49ers defeated the Seahawks 41-23.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: San Francisco 49ers

Joe Burrow walks off the field during the AFC Championship NFL football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday, Jan. 29, 2023, in Kansas City, Mo.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Cincinnati Bengals

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen (17) is sacked by Detroit Lions linebacker James Houston (59) during a regular season NFL football game between the Buffalo Bills and the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving Day on November 24, 2022 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Buffalo Bills

Jerry Jones the owner of the Dallas Cowboys against the Tennessee Titans at Nissan Stadium on December 29, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Dallas Cowboys

Head coach Doug Pederson of the Jacksonville Jaguars celebrates after the game against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on January 01, 2023 in Houston, Texas.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Jacksonville Jaguars

Quarterback Daniel Jones #8 of the New York Giants after defeating the Carolina Panthers 21-19 in a pre-season football game at MetLife Stadium on August 18, 2023 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New York Giants

Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings reacts while being hit during a passing attempt against the Washington Commanders during the second half of the game at FedExField on November 6, 2022 in Landover, Maryland.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Minnesota Vikings

Vita Vea #50 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers sacks Lamar Jackson #8 of the Baltimore Ravens during the first quarter at Raymond James Stadium on October 27, 2022 in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Baltimore Ravens

Los Angeles Chargers linebacker Amen Ogbongbemiga (57) lays on the turf as Jacksonville Jaguars place kicker Riley Patterson (10) is mobbed by teammates after hitting a game winning field goal in an AFC Wild Card game at TIAA Bank Field.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Los Angeles Chargers

MIAMI GARDENS, FLORIDA - JULY 27: Head coach Mike McDaniel of the Miami Dolphins stretches with Tua Tagovailoa #1 during training camp at Baptist Health Training Complex on July 27, 2022 in Miami Gardens, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Miami Dolphins

Head coach Pete Carroll and Geno Smith #7 of the Seattle Seahawks during the second half of the preseason game against the Chicago Bears at Lumen Field on August 18, 2022 in Seattle, Washington.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Seattle Seahawks

Baker Mayfield #6 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers warms up during a preseason game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Raymond James Stadium on August 11, 2023 in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Head coach Dan Campbell of the Detroit Lions looks on against the Buffalo Bills at Ford Field on November 24, 2022 in Detroit, Michigan.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Detroit Lions

Head coach Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on before the game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium on November 28, 2021 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Pittsburgh Steelers

Head coach Ron Rivera of the Washington Commanders looks on prior to a game against the Atlanta Falcons at FedExField on November 27, 2022 in Landover, Maryland.