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Billy Haisley

Minor Dilemmas

Am I The Asshole For Judging The Screen Time Habits Of Other People’s Kids?

U.S. President Donald Trump poses for photographs with FIFA President Gianni Infantino in the Oval Office at the White House.

Soccer

FIFA Makes Good And Right And Not At All Corrupt Decision To Rescind Folarin Balogun’s Red Card Suspension

Michael Olise of France attempts an overhead kick which hits the crossbar during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Round Of 32 match between France and Sweden

Michael Olise And France Are Soccer’s Greatest Evangelists

Yoane Wissa of Congo DR celebrates with teammates after scoring the team's third goal during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Group K match between Congo DR and Uzbekistan.

DR Congo Welcomes You To Africa’s World Cup

Lionel Messi of Argentina celebrates after scoring his team's second goal during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Group J match between Argentina and Austria.

Lionel Messi Falls To Earth, Ascends Right Back Into The Sky

Lamine Yamal of Spain celebrates after scoring their side's first goal during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Group H match between Spain and Saudi Arabia.

The Real Spain Has Now Arrived

Chris Richards and Folarin Balogun of the United States celebrate a goal during the FIFA World Cup 2026 Group D match between USA and Australia

I Have Died And Gone To USMNT Heaven

Lionel Messi (right, Argentina) is embraced by Rodrigo De Paul (Argentina) after scoring his second goal to make it 2-0.

Even At The End, Lionel Messi Is Just Getting Started

Mikel Oyarzabal of Spain celebrates with teammates after scoring the first goal of his team during the international friendly match between Peru and Spain at Estadio Cuauhtémoc in Puebla, Mexico.

Spain Has The Best, Is The Best

People celebrate after the announcement of Brazilian footballer Neymar Jr. during an event to announce Brazil's squad for the 2026 FIFA World Cup at the Museum of Tomorrow, in downtown Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Brazil Couldn’t Kill Its Idol, So It Brought Him Along To The World Cup

Bilal El Khannouss of Morocco celebrates scoring his team's first goal with teammate Achraf Hakimi during the international friendly match between Morocco and Paraguay.

Forget A Generation, Morocco Is Simply Golden

Raul Jimenez of Mexico celebrates after scoring a penalti during an international friendly match between Mexico and Paraguay.

Mexico Can’t Let This Chance Slip By

FC Barcelona players toss Alexia Putellas in the air at the end of the match between FC Barcelona Femeni and Real Sociedad Femenino.

Barcelona Wins The Crown But Loses The Queen

Mocking Southampton fans in camouflage ghillie suits after their side was accused of spying on a Middlesbrough training session before the Sky Bet Championship Play Off Semi Final Second Leg match between Southampton and Middlesbrough at St Mary's Stadium on May 12, 2026 in Southampton, England.

Saints Frog-Marched Out Of Playoff Final As Punishment For Spying

A little boy, wearing a diaper and a top hat, poses in front of a New Year's calendar at a hospital in New York City, United States, on December 22, 1949.

How Do I Manage My Newborn’s Life If Planning Things Stresses Me Out?

Michael Olise of FC Bayern München celebrates his 4-3 goal with Joshua Kimmich of FC Bayern München and fans during the UEFA Champions League 2025/26 Quarter-Final Second Leg match between FC Bayern München and Real Madrid CF.

Bayern Munich Did Not Believe In Magic

Betty Boop is awakened by city noise in her bedroom.

Music

Brazilian Funk Continues Innovating Methods For Getting Your Shit Rocked

Rayan Cherki of France gives the captain's armband to teammate Kylian Mbappe during the international friendly match between Colombia and France at Northwest Stadium on March 29, 2026 in Landover, Maryland.

Rayan Cherki Is A Human Highlight Reel

Linda Caicedo of Real Madrid CF scring her team first goal during the UEFA Women's Champions League 2025/26 Quarter-finals First Leg match between Real Madrid CF and FC Barcelona at Estadio Alfredo Di Stefano on March 25, 2026 in Madrid, Spain.

We’ve Got To Get Linda Caicedo Out Of Bum-Ass Real Madrid

Brighton and Hove Albion's Danny Welbeck celebrates scoring their side's first goal of the game during the Premier League match at the American Express Stadium, Brighton.

All Hail Danny Welbeck, The Lord Of The Premier League

U.S. President Donald Trump places the FIFA Peace Prize around his neck after receiving it from FIFA President Gianni Infantino (R) at the FIFA World Cup 2026 Official Draw at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts December 05, 2025 in Washington, DC.

Iran Plans To Boycott World Cup Due To FIFA Peace Prize Winner’s Murderous, Unprovoked War

Antoine Griezmann second striker of Atletico de Madrid and France celebrates the victory after winning the second leg of the Copa del Rey semi-final between FC Barcelona and Atletico de Madrid at Spotify Camp Nou on March 3, 2026 in Barcelona, Spain.

Antoine Griezmann Is Still Too Good To Go

Players of Arsenal look dejected after conceding a second goal during the Premier League match between Wolverhampton Wanderers and Arsenal at Molineux on February 18, 2026 in Wolverhampton, England.

Ohhhhhhhh, Arsenal

Gianluca Prestianni of SL Benfica seems with Vinicius Junior of Real Madrid CF during the UEFA Champions League 2025/26 League Knockout Play-off First Leg match between SL Benfica and Real Madrid C.F. at Estadio do SL Benfica on February 17, 2026 in Lisbon, Portugal.

Soccer Racismo Sounds The Same Every Time

A child taunts the Chelsea fans during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Leeds United at Stamford Bridge on February 10, 2026 in London, United Kingdom.