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Defector

Kathryn Xu

Olympics, Paris 2024, before the triathlon, view of the murky water of the Seine after the second training session was cancelled due to poor water quality.

Olympics

I Will Only Swim In The Poop River If It Contains Fewer Than 1,000 Colony-Producing Units Of E. Coli Per 100 Milliliters Of Water

Albert Burneko

The United Launch Alliance (ULA) Atlas V rocket with Boeing's CST-100 Starliner spacecraft appears as a blazing meteor with a long trail of vapor as it launches from Cape Canaveral Space Force Station in Florida on June 5, 2024.

This Is So Stupid

Do Not Say The Boeing Starliner Astronauts Are Stranded In Space, Which They Cannot Presently Return From Due To Problems With Their Spacecraft

Barry Petchesky

Announcements

Everyone’s Been Competing To Post Defector’s 10,000th Blog And I Just Clicked Publish On This

The Official, Complete, Very Scientific Taxonomy Of Fishing Video Games

<p>Staff Writer</p>
<p>Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19</p>


Chris Thompson

What Would You Do Right Now For A Free Beach Vacation?

CALGARY, CANADA - FEBRUARY 25: A view of the exterior of the Scotiabank Saddledome home of the NHL’s Calgary Flames with the city skyline in the background on February 25, 2016 in Calgary, Alberta. (Photo by Tom Szczerbowski/Getty Images) *** Local Caption ***

A Useful, Clear-As-Day, Couldn’t-Be-Simpler Guide To Canada’s Hockey Arenas, Places, And Centres

Shohei Ohtani smacks a 473-foot home run.

Sunday’s Events Will Ring Out Through History

George Clooney, as Michael Clayton, talks into a cell phone while walking down a city street at night.

There Are Three Essential Lawyer Movies

Actors from "All My Children" at the Emmys.

Here Are Some MLB Draft Prospects Whose Names Would Be Right At Home On ‘All My Children’

Samer Kalaf

Klay Thompson #11, Andrew Wiggins #22, Jonathan Kuminga #00, and Stephen Curry #30 of the Golden State Warriors look on from the bench during the game against the Sacramento Kings during the 2024 Play-In Tournament

An Attempt To Draw This Overstuffed Sentence About Klay Thompson Leaving The Warriors

Justin Ellis

The super yacht of Russian billionaire businessman and oligarch Roman Abramovich sitting in dock at the Marmaris Port in Turkey in December 2023.

We Are Honor Bound To Commandeer Mark Zuckerberg’s Megayacht

Kelsey McKinney

jacked man with midlength hair sittting at a laptop

Arts And Culture

Why is AI Jesus So Fucking Jacked?

Is The Phillie Phanatic A Muppet?

A Tesla Cybertruck parked on the street in New York.

I Would Like To Put Lunchmeat On The Cybertruck

I Found My Keys

Where Are My Keys?

Tom Ley

Scottie Scheffler arrives to the course during the second round of PGA Championship at Valhalla Golf Club on May 17, 2024 in Louisville, Kentucky.

Officer’s Pants Tragically Struck Down In Confrontation With Scottie Scheffler

Paramount Plus Is Ruining My Life, And It Is Time For Jeff Probst To Do Something About It

NASHVILLE, TN - JUNE 26: Mark Messier is shown on the red carpet prior to the 2023 NHL Awards, held on June 26, 2023, at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Danny Murphy/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Mark Messier Selects Winner Of Mark Messier Award For Player Who Best Exemplifies Qualities Of Mark Messier

Unlike All The Archeologists, I Know What This Thingy Is For

LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 29: Bill Simmons is seen on March 29, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by gotpap/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)

Defector Up All Night

Enter Bill Simmons’s No Flex Zone, If You Dare

A large summer sausage in the Twins' dugout

The Eldritch Power Of The Twins’ Home Run Sausage Must Be Handled With Care

Alex Sujong Laughlin

Singer JoJo Siwa on the red carpet entering the 2024 iHeartRadio Music Awards in Hollywood, wearing a black and silver sequins outfit reminiscent of Gene Simmons from the band Kiss.

When You Eat Poison Long Enough, It Starts To Taste Good

Caitlin Clark daps up Jake From State Farm, for some reason, at the WNBA Draft