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Defector

Barry Petchesky

Boston, MA - April 15: Joe, a Western Lowland Gorilla, at the Franklin Park Zoo on April 15, 2026. (Photo by Jessica Rinaldi/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

This Is So Stupid

We Have A Gorilla Trade

DENVER, CO - MAY 13: The Colorado Avalanche celebrate defenseman Brett Kulak (27) of the Colorado Avalanche's overtime goal on goaltender Jesper Wallstedt (30) of the Minnesota Wild during overtime of Game 5 of the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs on Wednesday, May 13, 2026, at Ball Arena in Denver, Colo. (Photo by Timothy Hurst/MediaNews Group/The Denver Post via Getty Images)

Who’s Stopping These Avs?

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - MAY 10: Hector Borg #80 and Drew Gilbert #0 of the San Francisco Giants prepare for the game against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Oracle Park on May 10, 2026 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Andy Kuno/San Francisco Giants/Getty Images)

The Giants Will No Longer Be Pummeling Each Other With Their Crotches

SECAUCUS, NEW JERSEY - MAY 05: Detailed view of the draft board is shown following the 2026 NHL Draft Lottery at the NHL Network Studio on May 5, 2026 in Secaucus, New Jersey. (Photo by Jared Silber/NHLI via Getty Images)

The Leafs Fell Ass-Backward Into Gavin McKenna

Shots

You’re Not Looking Through 12,000 New Artemis Photos, So Here Are Some Of The Best

TAMPA, FLORIDA - MAY 03: Nikita Kucherov #86 of the Tampa Bay Lightning reacts after the 2-1 defeat against the Montréal Canadiens in Game Seven of the First Round of the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Amalie Arena on May 03, 2026 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Carlson/Getty Images)

Tampa Lost An Unlosable Game

ANAHEIM, CA - APRIL 30: Jackson LaCombe #2 and Leo Carlsson #91 of the Anaheim Ducks celebrate a goal scored in the first period of the game against the Edmonton Oilers in Game Six of the First Round of the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Honda Center on April 30, 2026 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Debora Robinson/NHLI via Getty Images)

Duck, Duck, Goals!

Science

Let Pluto Rest In Dwarf Planet Peace

DALLAS, TX - APRIL 28: Minnesota Wild goaltender Jesper Wallstedt (30) blocks a shot during the Stanley Cup Playoffs First Round game 5 between the Dallas Stars and the Minnesota Wild on April 28, 2026 at American Airlines Center in Dallas, TX. (Photo by Matthew Pearce/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

They Don’t Call Him Jesper Sievestedt

Ty France grabs a ball that is seemingly foul. But it's fair!

That’s A Fair Ball, Believe It Or Not

HOUSTON, TEXAS - APRIL 24: Jazz Chisholm Jr. #13 of the New York Yankees stands on deck in the third inning against the Houston Astros at Daikin Park on April 24, 2026 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images)

Jazz Chisholm Is So Bad At ABS Challenges

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - APRIL 22: Trevor Zegras #46 of the Philadelphia Flyers celebrates his second period power-play goal against the Pittsburgh Penguins with teammates Christian Dvorak #22, Travis Konecny #11, Matvei Michkov #39, Cam York #8(all in the penalty box), and Jamie Drysdale #9 in Game Three of the First Round of the 2026 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Xfinity Mobile Arena on April 22, 2026 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Len Redkoles/NHLI via Getty Images)

Philadelphia’s Hottest Club Is The Penalty Box

Did You Hear? Cribl, Axonius, And Netskope Were At The Game

The Earth sets over the Moon, with Orion in the foreground.

This Phone Video From Artemis Is So Damn Cool

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA - FEBRUARY 06: Dianna Russini attends Chris Stapleton's Performance Live From The Fillmore New Orleans for SiriusXM and Pandora on February 06, 2025 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Daniel Boczarski/Getty Images for SiriusXM)

Dianna Russini Resigns From The Athletic

It’s Time For The Scariest Part Of Artemis

ANAHEIM, CA - APRIL 07: Atlanta Braves catcher Jonah Heim (20) tries to hold back Los Angeles Angels designated hitter Jorge Soler (12) as he swings a punch at Atlanta Braves pitcher Reynaldo Lopez (40) on the mound as home plate umpire Edwin Moscoso trails the play during the MLB game between the Atlanta Braves and the Los Angeles Angels on April 7, 2026 at Angel Stadium in Anaheim, CA. (Photo by Brian Rothmuller/Icon Sportswire)

Advances In Basebrawl Weaponry Are Being Made Every Day

Earthset captured through the Orion spacecraft window at 6:41 p.m. EDT, April 6, 2026, during the Artemis II crew’s flyby of the Moon. A muted blue Earth with bright white clouds sets behind the cratered lunar surface. The dark portion of Earth is experiencing nighttime. On Earth’s day side, swirling clouds are visible over the Australia and Oceania region. In the foreground, Ohm crater has terraced edges and a flat floor interrupted by central peaks. Central peaks form in complex craters when the lunar surface, liquefied on impact, splashes upwards during the crater’s formation.

Why We Fly

What Would You Do Behind The Moon?

Artemis Took A Picture Of Us

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLORIDA - APRIL 01: (EDITOR'S NOTE: Getty Images provides access to this publicly distributed image for editorial purposes and is not the copyright owner. Additional permissions may be required and are the sole responsibility of the end user.) In this handout image provided by NASA, NASA's Space Launch System rocket carrying the Orion spacecraft with NASA astronauts Reid Wiseman, commander; Victor Glover, pilot; Christina Koch, mission specialist; and CSA (Canadian Space Agency) astronaut Jeremy Hansen, mission specialist onboard launches on the Artemis II mission, Wednesday, April 1, 2026, from Launch Complex 39B at NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida. NASA's Artemis II mission will take Wiseman, Glover, Koch, and Hansen on a 10-day journey around the Moon and back aboard their Orion spacecraft. The quartet launched at 6:35 p.m. EDT, from Launch Complex 39B at the Kennedy Space Center. (Photo by Aubrey Gemignani/NASA/Getty Images)

Artemis Boldly Goes Where No Toilet Has Gone Before

ANAHEIM, CA - MARCH 30: Max Domi #11 of the Toronto Maple Leafs and Radko Gudas #7 of the Anaheim Ducks fight during the first period at Honda Center on March 30, 2026 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Debora Robinson/NHLI via Getty Images)

What’s The Value Of An Ass-Kicking Freely Offered?

Luis Paez-Pumar

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 28: Mason Miller #22 of the San Diego Padres enters the game in the ninth inning during the game against the Detroit Tigers at Petco Park on March 28, 2026 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Matt Thomas/San Diego Padres/Getty Images)

Music

Defector’s Resident Nu Metalheads Discuss Mason Miller’s Nu Entrance Music

Piles of dirty snow and discarded trees, backdropped by a wet, gray sky. One featureless building is visible in the background. On the whole, not a postcard view.

Life's Rich Pageant

We Asked The Mayor Of Ottawa Why He Keeps Posting Such Grim Photos

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 06: A general view of the San Francisco Giants playing agains the Atlanta Braves at Oracle Park on June 06, 2025 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)