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Luis Paez-Pumar

Miguel Almiron of Newcastle United celebrates after scoring his team's first goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Newcastle United FC and Paris Saint-Germain at St. James Park on October 4, 2023 in Newcastle upon Tyne, United Kingdom.

Newcastle Roared To Champions League Life

Tom Ley

Chicago Fire fans celebrate from the stands at SeatGeek Stadium on June 6, 2023 in Bridgeview, Illinois.

Chicago Fire Tries Bribing Fans To Attend Game Messi Might Not Play In

Patrick Redford

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 03: Anthony Martial, Andre Onana of Manchester United walks off during the UEFA Champions League match between Manchester United and Galatasaray A.S. at Old Trafford on October 03, 2023 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Matthew Peters/Manchester United via Getty Images)

Manchester United Is Back In The Pain Cave

Luis Diaz of Liverpool reacts after a goal was rules offside during the Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool FC at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on September 30, 2023 in London, England.

Audio Reveals Panic, Confusion, And Expletives In Liverpool-Tottenham VAR Room

The giant screen shows a goal from Luis Diaz of Liverpool being checked for offside by VAR during the Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and Liverpool FC at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium on September 30, 2023 in London, England.

VAR Fucked Up The One Thing It Is Supposed To Never Fuck Up

Victor Osimhen of Napoli looks on during the Serie A TIM match between Bologna FC and SSC Napoli at Stadio Renato Dall'Ara on September 24, 2023 in Bologna, Italy.

Napoli Shitposted Its Way Into A War With Its Own Best Player

Julie Ertz #8 of the United States watches a tribute video after playing South Africa at TQL Stadium on September 21, 2023 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Julie Ertz Was The USWNT

LONDON, ENGLAND - SEPTEMBER 20: Martin Oedegaard of Arsenal celebrates after scoring the team's fourth goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Arsenal FC and PSV Eindhoven at Emirates Stadium on September 20, 2023 in London, England. (Photo by Julian Finney/Getty Images)

Arsenal’s Return To The Champions League Was Typically Stylish

Jude Bellingham of Real Madrid celebrates after scoring their sides first goal during the UEFA Champions League match between Real Madrid CF and 1. FC Union Berlin at Estadio Alfredo Di Stefano on September 20, 2023 in Madrid, Spain

Jude Bellingham Is Real Madrid’s Newest Savior

Spain's midfielder Patri Guijarro (L) and Spain's defender Mapi Leon talk to the press after announcing they are leaving the national selection, in front of their hotel in Oliva near Valencia, on September 20, 2023 ahead of the UEFA Nations League football matches against Sweden and Switzerland. New Spain coach Montse Tome named a surprise 23-woman squad for upcoming Nations League qualifiers including 20 players officially on strike. Players demand structural changes in the Spanish football federation (RFEF) after the President forcibly kissed a player on the lips after Spain won the World Cup in Sydney on August 20, provoking worldwide outrage.

Spain Fills Women’s National Team Roster By Promising A Festival Of Beheadings

Olga Carmona is seen during the first call of the Spain Women Team leaving the Alameda Barajas Hotel for the Valencia concentration on September 19, 2023, in Barajas, Madrid, Spain.

Spain’s Soccer Federation Has Once Again Barfed Into Its Own Pants

Paul Pogba of Juventus FC looks on during the Serie A Tim match between Empoli FC and Juventus FC at Stadio Carlo Castellani on September 3, 2023 in Empoli, Italy.

Paul Pogba Facing Four-Year Ban For Failing Doping Test

Albert Burneko

RFEF president Luis Rubiales pumps his fists and pulls a stupid face at the World Cup medal ceremony. Rubiales resigned on Sept. 10 in the aftermath of forcibly kissing Spain star Jenni Hermoso on the mouth during that ceremony.

Luis Rubiales Finally, Belatedly Resigns

Antony #11 of Team Brazil looks on during the Men's First Round Group D match between Brazil and Cote d'Ivoire on day two of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic Games at International Stadium Yokohama on July 25, 2021 in Yokohama, Kanagawa, Japan.

Antony Dropped From Brazil Squad Over Domestic Violence Case

Spain women's national team coach Jorge Vilda, posing with his World Cup medallion. He got fired today, the big dumbass.

Spain Dumps Women’s Team Coach Jorge Vilda, At Long Last

Ansu Fati In Brighton Should Be Lots Of Fun

SAN JOSE, COSTA RICA - MARCH 30: USA head coach Gregg Berhalter and Giovanni Reyna #11 arrive at the stadium before a FIFA World Cup qualifier game between Costa Rica and USMNT at Estadio Nacional de Costa Rica on March 30, 2022 in San Jose, Costa Rica. (Photo by Brad Smith/ISI Photos/Getty Images)

Gregg Berhalter Knows He Needs Gio Reyna, Even If They Still Haven’t Spoken

Billy Haisley

Lamine Yamal of FC Barcelona reacts during the LaLiga EA Sports match between Villarreal CF and FC Barcelona at Estadio de la Ceramica, August 27, 2023, Vila-real, Spain.

Barcelona Has Found Another One In Lamine Yamal

Gabri Veiga of RC Celta celebrates after scores the team's first goal during the LaLiga Santander match between RC Celta and FC Barcelona at Estadio Balaidos on June 04, 2023 in Vigo, Spain.

Saudi Arabia Is Winning Europe’s Game

Footballer Jenni Hermoso during the victory celebration at Madrid Rio on August 21, 2023, in Madrid, Spain.

Spain’s Women’s National Team Is Winning Again

Darwin Nunez of Liverpool celebrates scoring the winning goal during the Premier League match between Newcastle United and Liverpool FC at St. James Park on August 27, 2023 in Newcastle upon Tyne, England.

Darwin Núñez Arrived Just In Time For Liverpool

Inter Miami's Argentine forward #10 Lionel Messi and NY Red Bulls' Colombian defender #04 Andres Reyes (R) vie for the ball during the Major League Soccer 2023 match between Inter Miami and New York Red Bulls at the Red Bull arena in Harrison, New Jersey, August 26, 2023.

Everyone Wants To Watch Lionel Messi

RFEF president Luis Rubiales pumps his fists in celebration during the 2023 Women's World Cup

Luis Rubiales Shows The Whole World Spain’s Entire Ass

Atlético Madrid forward João Félix, looking perplexed or perhaps disgusted from the bench.

What The Hell Is Going On With João Félix?

Ray Ratto

Victor Francos at left and RFEF chief Luis Rubiales, smirking in the center, at a reception following the Spanish women's team's triumph in the 2023 Women's World Cup.