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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

Heather Carr, Brooklyn Carr, Dallas Carr, Derek Carr of the New Orleans Saints, are seen after Carr signed a four-year contract with the Saints at New Orleans Saints Indoor Practice Facility on March 11, 2023 in New Orleans, Louisiana.

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: New Orleans Saints

Bryce Young #9 of the Carolina Panthers attends Carolina Panthers Training Camp at Wofford College on July 27, 2023 in Spartanburg, South Carolina. (

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Carolina Panthers

Desmond Ridder #4 of the Atlanta Falcons carries the ball against the Baltimore Ravens during the second half of the game at M&amp;T Bank Stadium on December 24, 2022 in Baltimore, Maryland.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Atlanta Falcons

Las Vegas Raiders head coach Josh McDaniels speaks with owner Mark Davis prior to the game against the Seattle Seahawks at Lumen Field on November 27, 2022 in Seattle, Washington.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Las Vegas Raiders

Head coach Sean McVay of the Los Angeles Rams talks with Greg Gaines #91, Bobby Wagner #45 and Aaron Donald #99 as they stretch before mini camp on June 8, 2022 at the team's facility at California Lutheran University in Thousand Oaks, California.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Los Angeles Rams

Sean Payton attends Game Five of the 2023 NBA Finals between the Miami Heat and Denver Nuggets on June 12, 2023 at Ball Arena in Denver,

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Denver Broncos

Jim Irsay wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Indianapolis Colts

Fred Warner #54 of the San Francisco 49ers sacks Colt McCoy #12 of the Arizona Cardinals during the game at Estadio Azteca on November 21, 2022 in Mexico City, Mexico. (

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Arizona Cardinals

Jordan Akins #88 of the Houston Texans scores a two point conversion during the fourth quarter of the game against the Indianapolis Colts at Lucas Oil Stadium on January 08, 2023 in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Houston Texans

An open sign in the window of a gift shop is seen in Times Square on August 16, 2020 in New York. Five months after New York City shut down to combat the coronavirus, the tourism industry remains flat. Business leaders and City officials are trying to devise plans to revive the tourism industry that has in years past brought in $45 billion annually and supported 300,000 jobs. (Photo by Bryan R. Smith / AFP) (Photo by BRYAN R. SMITH/AFP via Getty Images)

Funbag

Police Merch Is Its Own Horrible Little Fiefdom

Chicago Bears quarterback Justin Fields (1) trips as he runs with the ball during the fourth quarter of an NFL football game between the Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions on January 1, 2023 at Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Chicago Bears

Three demonstrators join hands to build strength against the force of water sprayed by riot police in Birmingham, Alabama, during a protest of segregation practices.

Podcasts

The Civil Rights Movement’s Turning Point Was Almost Its Last Stand, With Paul Kix

COMBLOUX, FRANCE - JULY 18: Olivier Le Gac of France and Team Groupama-FDJ sprints during the stage sixteen of the 110th Tour de France 2023 a 22.4km individual climbing time trial stage from Passy to Combloux 974m / #UCIWT / on July 18, 2023 in Combloux, France. (Photo by Tim de Waele/Getty Images)

Could A Normal Person Finish A Tour de France Mountain Stage On An E-Bike?

LIVERMORE, CA - JULY 18: A Safeway customer browses in the fruit and vegetable section at Safeway's new "Lifestyle" store July 18, 2007 in Livermore, California. Safeway unveiled its newest Lifestyle store that features numerous organic and natural foods as well as expanded produce, meat, seafood and floral departments. The store also offers freshly made desserts and baked goods, a coffee roaster, a fresh nut bar and wine section with over 2,000 wines, some of which are stored in a climate controlled wine cellar. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

Time For War: I’m Ranking Supermarket Chains

For Independence Day, An EXPLOSIVE Question About Doors

Life Lessons

How Much Shit Should You Have In Your Wallet? An Investigation

BEREA, OH - JULY 28: Microphones of HBO's "Hard Knocks" series hover over the Cleveland Browns offense during a training camp practice on July 28, 2018 at the Cleveland Browns training facility in Berea, Ohio. (Photo by Nick Cammett/Diamond Images/Getty Images)

Let ‘Hard Knocks’ Die Already

STOCKTON, CA - SEPTEMBER 29: A school bus carries children at sunrise on Bethel Island, one of the residential islands surrounded by levees that hold back the higher waters of the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta on September 29, 2005 west of Stockton, California. Officials say that the dikes of the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta are in worse shape than those that broke and flooded New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. There is a two-in-three chance that a catastrophic earthquake or storm in the next 50 years may damage the levees enough to cause the kind of destruction that engulfed New Orleans, according to experts. Such an event would affect the water supply that serves two-thirds of California and create a nightmare traffic jam on Highway 4, the two-lane road that would be the major evacuation route, if it is not damaged beyond usability. Approximately 1,600 miles of levees protect the delta's islands, which lie well below sea-level, and most were built more than 100 years ago. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

Dadfector

The Last Bus

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - FEBRUARY 22: Ben Franklin Impersonator, Robert DeVitis attends the pre-launch of Oatly's new plant-based Cream Cheese exclusively in Philadelphia at Spread Bagelry on February 22, 2023 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Lisa Lake/Getty Images for Oatly)

Underexplained Lists

Cream Cheeses, Ranked

(MANDATORY CREDIT Ebet Roberts/Getty Images) UNITED STATES - AUGUST 01: LOLAPOLOOZA Photo of Eddie VEDDER and PEARL JAM and Stone GOSSARD, L-R: Stone Gossard and Eddie Vedder performing live onstage (Photo by Ebet Roberts/Redferns)

Who Is Our Least Intelligible Singer?

Music

Sometimes The Best Bands In The World Play Right In Front Of The Toilets

WUHAN, CHINA - NOVEMBER 23: (CHINA OUT) Zhang Juncai, one of China's tallest men, who measures 2.42 metres in height, walks through the streets on November 23, 2004 in Wuhan, China. Zhang, from Shanxi province, is in Wuhan to seek treatment for his overweight problem. (Photo by China Pix/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Zhang Juncai

The World Still Isn’t Designed With Tall People In Mind

BOULDER, COLORADO - APRIL 22: Head coach Deion Sanders of the Colorado Buffaloes watches as his team warms up prior to their spring game at Folsom Field on April 22, 2023 in Boulder, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Don’t Rank Your Children, You Domineering Prick

SEP 10 1989 Sitting in the Chair at the Press Conf for the Pit Bulls at the Denver Athletic Club is Punk. Credit: The Denver Post (Denver Post via Getty Images)

Do You Have That Dog In You? Take The Defector Quiz!

BOSTON, MA - MAY 1: Reggie Miller and Kevin Harland look on during the game between the Philadelphia 76ers and Boston Celtics during Round 2 Game 1 of the 2023 NBA Playoffs on May 1, 2023 at the TD Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2023 NBAE (Photo by David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images)