To paraphrase one of the greats, it's not easy living up to the standards of Jaguars Junction. It's not just about the losing; any team can lose a game, especially in the NFL. And it's also not about the penalties. The yellow flags come for all of us. No, to feel truly welcome in Jaguars Junction, one must not just lose but also lose with panache. One must fail in a way that makes everyone stand up, point at the screen, and say aloud, "Are you kidding me?" One must collapse in a fashion that defies all logic and science, which is a given for the Florida Man. You could call it je ne sais quoi, though when Florida is involved it demands a French-Canadian accent.
And yet, as one of Defector Media's resident Floridians, your dear author has no choice but to welcome the Philadelphia Eagles to this perhaps not illustrious but certainly noted shrine to humiliation. Their flop from across the pond on Sunday demands it. What follows is no less than my journalistic duty.
By all reasonable accounts, the Jaguars appeared Sunday poised to continue their fine and upstanding tradition of losing in both creative and heartbreaking fashion. Technically, near the end of the fourth quarter, the Jags were leading. But spiritually, they were already showing signs of returning to form when kicker Cam Little—who has one of the strongest legs in the league—missed the extra point, making their advantage two points instead of three. As Little's kick hooked left, I could hear the theme music to Jaguars Junction playing in my ears. The Hamilton Nolan bat signal began to warm up. At least, in a cruel and unreliable world, this one truism would remain.
With about a minute and a half left, all the Eagles had to do was get into field goal range and, well, not miss. It would be difficult with their ever dwindling collection of available running backs, and their largely hapless second-half offense. But larger forces were afoot. On third and five, quarterback Jalen Hurts completed a pass for six yards and the first down to Dontayvion Wicks. An incompletion followed, but it did stop the clock. Hurts's very next pass zipped through the middle of the field into Dallas Goedert's hands, putting Philadelphia in easy field goal range. The Jags, being the Jags, did not call a timeout immediately after the play. The Eagles, meanwhile, moved the ball even closer, eventually setting up kicker Jake Elliott for a clear-and through-the-uprights 48 yarder.
The Eagles hadn't scored in the second half since Week 2 but, hey, this is Jaguars Junction. Of course they took the lead with eight seconds left. They were all but certain to win this game; just kick the ball off and make sure to get a stop on special teams. Hell, even if they were to return the ball effectively, with a measly eight seconds just keep them out of the endzone and stop them after time has run out. There's literally no way to screw this up in the worst possible way!
Anyway, they screwed up the kickoff in the worst possible way. I will leave it to others to debate if Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni made the wrong call in having his special teams unit not kick the ball through the end zone, which would have given Jacksonville the ball at the 35 with a smidge of time left. Or if he made the right call in having his team kick the ball short of the end zone, forcing the Jags to use up time running it back, and the special teams unit just failed to defend the ensuing return well enough.
Jacksonville's Ameer Abdullah snagged the ball and ran it back, cutting through a wide-open hole created by his blockers, and managed to run with it until he got brought down—with one second left. If only he could have run for one more second before being tackled. Or if only he could have been tackled sooner. That's the perverse pleasure of football in a way. For all its violence and woes, it is wholly impossible to predict how that violence will go. Anyone who could have tackled him sooner would have, but also trying to delay tackling Abdullah could have ended in a touchdown.
Regardless, Little returned to the field with a renewed shot at redemption, and redeem himself he did. A 57-yard field goal for the win sailed through the goal posts with the arch of a rainbow. Little's teammates carried their triumphant kicker off the field. Head coach Liam Coen smiled like a thief who got away with one.
And the Eagles, well, they now prepare for a long flight home back to the Keystone State. In the coming days, those in the wider world of football will debate what this all means. Is it time to fire Sirianni? What does this say about Philly's offense?
Those of us who have heard the siren song of Florida can sense that deeper mechanisms are afoot. You cannot reverse the flow of the Gulf Stream's perpetually warm waters. (Although climate change might.) You will never kill all the pythons or alligators that run amok here. And you cannot fight it when the sports gods decide to curse you in hilarious fashion. And while the former need not apply to the greater Philadelphia region, the latter just might. As a follower of Florida professional football, game recognizes game. We would like to formally welcome the Eagles to Jaguars Junction.
