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Defector

Tom Ley

Quarterback Kirk Cousins #18 of the Atlanta Falcons reacts to the supporter section after hitting the Golden Spike prior to the Atlanta United facing the FC Cincinnati at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on April 20, 2024 in Atlanta, Georgia.

It Usually Takes A Little Longer Than This To Realize You Don’t Want Kirk Cousins

Hamilton Nolan is a journalist based in New York City. Subscribe to his work at <a href="https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1687350200913000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0naFbUVOe-5ZgtPDtIM3gz">HamiltonNolan.com</a>.

Hamilton Nolan

KANSAS CITY, MO - APRIL 28: Jacksonville Jaguars fans cheer during Day 2 of the 2023 NFL Draft at Union Station on April 28, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Kevin Sabitus/Getty Images)

Jaguars Junction: Draft Day

Staff Writer
Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

Chris Thompson

Joel Embiid Is Persevering, For Good And Ill

Patrick Redford

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK - APRIL 24: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander #2 of the Oklahoma City Thunder shoots the ball during the game against the New Orleans Pelicans during Round 1 Game 2 of the 2024 NBA Playoffs on April 24, 2024 at Paycom Arena in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2024 NBAE (Photo by Zach Beeker/NBAE via Getty Images)

Underestimate Shai Gilgeous-Alexander And The Thunder At Your Peril

Maitreyi Anantharaman

Ottawa Forward Daryl Watts (9) celebrates her goal with Forward Brianne Jenner (19) during second period Professional Women's Hockey League (PWHL) action between Toronto and Ottawa on March 23, 2024, at TD Place Arena in Ottawa, ON, Canada.

PWHL

Ottawa Is Finding Itself

David Roth

Drake Maye wears "Draft Me" sunglasses during the NFL Scouting Combine at Lucas Oil Stadium on March 2, 2024 in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Podcasts

Data, Romance, And The NFL Draft, With Alec Lewis

Kathryn Xu

Garrett Crochet #45 of the Chicago White Sox delivers a pitch against the Minnesota Twins in the first inning at Target Field on April 24, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Here’s How The White Sox Can Still Win At Least 63 Games

Jarrad Branthwaite of Everton celebrates his goal with Vitalii Mykolenko James Garner James Tarkowski and team mates during the Premier League match between Everton FC and Liverpool FC at Goodison Park on April 24, 2024 in Liverpool, England.

Soccer

I Love Rooting For These Pieces Of Shit

Dr. Charles E. Dates leads the room in prayer before the stadium presentation.

Bears Owners Roll Out Grotesque Stadium Plan With History’s Creepiest Launch Ceremony

Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

Minnesota Vikings fan dressed up in Viking costume at a National Football League game in the Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by LAYNE KENNEDY/Corbis via Getty Images)

Jamboroo

I Am Ready To Become The Worst Kind Of Sports Cock

Lauren Theisen

Anze Kopitar celebrates his overtime game-winning goal

The Kings Are Bridging The Generation Gap

Albert Burneko

Xavi Hernandez, Head Coach of FC Barcelona reacts prior to the LaLiga EA Sports match between Real Madrid CF and FC Barcelona at Estadio Santiago Bernabeu on April 21, 2024 in Madrid, Spain.

Xavi Isn’t Leaving Barcelona After All

Ray Ratto

KANSAS CITY, MO - APRIL 27: Detroit Lions fans and cheerleaders in the first round of the NFL Draft on April 27, 2023 at Union Station in Kansas City, MO. (Photo by Scott Winters/Icon Sportswire)

The NFL Draft Is Sicko Prom

Luis Paez-Pumar

Tyler Herro #14 of the Miami Heat celebrates a three-point basket as he runs past Jaylen Brown #7 of the Boston Celtics during the third quarter of game two of the Eastern Conference First Round Playoffs at TD Garden on April 24, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts.

The Heat Beat Boston At Its Own Game

Dave McKenna

SHADY GROVE, MD - SEPTEMBER 26: Robin Ficker, a Republican candidate for Montgomery County Executive, speaks during a County Executive Candidates debate on September 26, 2018 in Shady Grove, MD. (Photo by Oliver Contreras/For The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Politics

Portrait Of The Asshole As An Old Man

Barry Petchesky

Billy Hale, age 7, Simi Valley celebrates a Nintendo victory over his brother. Photo/Art by:Alan Hagman

Video Games

Video Games Should Be Easy, For Baby Gamers Like Me

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 23: Luka Doncic #77 of the Dallas Mavericks reacts to officials for a LA Clippers foul during a 96-93 Mavericks win in game two of the Western Conference First Round Playoffs at Crypto.com Arena on April 23, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Luka Doncic Is Unshakeable

charismatic megafauna (they/them)

Sabrina Imbler

an illustration by Ray Troll depicting a gigantic spike-toothed salmon overpowering a fisherman

Creaturefector

Meet The Extremely Metal Spike-Toothed Salmon

Asher Elbein is <a href="https://www.asherelbein.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.asherelbein.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1712179533443000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2CJ0U-vHMdK0s6sOdzlGGF">a journalist and fiction writer</a> based in Austin, Texas. Among other places, his work has appeared in The New York Times, Scientific American, Undark Magazine, Audubon, and Texas Monthly.

Asher Elbein

An illustration of Magneto placing a yarmulke atop his head.

History

The Judgment Of Magneto

Sam Bennett #9 of the Florida Panthers celebrates his goal with teammates against the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game Two of the First Round of the 2024 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Amerant Bank Arena on April 23, 2024 in Sunrise, Florida.

The Panthers Might Love Overtime Even More Than We Do

Reggie Bush, University of Southern California tailback holds the Heisman Trophy during the 2005 Heisman Trophy presentation at the Hard Rock Cafe in New York City, New York on December 10, 2005.

College Football

Reggie Bush Gets Back The Heisman He Never Should Have Lost

Let's Remember Some Guys

Let’s Remember Some Guys: Reader Edition

Pascal Siakam #43 of the Indiana Pacers prepares to shoot a free throw during Round 1 Game 2 of the 2024 NBA Playoffs against the Milwaukee Bucks on April 23, 2024 at the Fiserv Forum Center in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.