The Buccaneers Played Prehistoric Football And Won

It's wise to never expect too much from a clash between two NFC South teams. They tend to be a form of stultifying anti-entertainment, and so today's game between the Falcons and Buccaneers would normally be an easy skip. The NFC South has felt a little different this year, though, and not because any of its teams are playing particularly good football. What they have been doing is playing weird, entertaining football, and today the Bucs and Falcons played what might end up being the weirdest and most entertaining game of the season.

A huge rainstorm rolled into Tampa, Fla. this morning, absolutely soaking the Bucs' field and creating the kind of conditions that would make any offensive coordinator squeamish about calling a passing play. Now imagine how much more stressful that scenario becomes when the quarterbacks at their disposal are Baker Mayfield and Michael Penix, Jr. Facing these conditions, the Buccaneers came up with a novel strategy: What if we just didn't throw a pass?

Well, OK, they threw three passes, but none of them were completed. Mayfield's final stat line: 0-3 for 0 yards, 0 touchdowns, and 0 interceptions. Any football game that produces a quarterback box score like that is already a thing to behold, but this one was made truly special by the fact that the Bucs won the game, 16-0. They did so by running the ball 56 times for 324 yards. Bucky Irving and Kenny Gainwell each got to live out every running back's fantasy: Irving finished with 170 yards and a touchdown on 27 carries, and Gainwell chipped in with 140 yards on 25 carries. The game's representative highlight was probably Mayfield fumbling a snap and scrambling for a few seconds before throwing a desperate backwards pass to Irving, who churned through the rain and mud before fumbling the ball right at the goal line.

What made the Bucs' approach to the game even more satisfying is that it was vindicated by more than just the final score. The Falcons trusted their quarterback's ability to tame the elements, and had to watch as everything went spectacularly wrong. While Bijan Robinson was given just 19 carries, Penix was trusted to throw the ball 24 times. He completed eight of those passes for just 125 yards, and threw four interceptions. More than half of his yards came on a meaningless 76-yard completion to Drake London late in the fourth quarter.

This is the first time since 1974 that an NFL team has won a game without completing a pass. As wonderful as this achievement was to witness, it is also bittersweet. I am suddenly filled with angst and regret over the fact that the Bucs play in a warm-weather city. These guys should be playing in soggy, frigid, or windy environments as much as possible. I want to see Irving and Gainwell unleashed on a field that's been buried under two feet of snow, dammit. Can we just relocate them to Newfoundland, or something?