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Barry Petchesky

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - JANUARY 08: Garnet Hathaway #19 of the Philadelphia Flyers looks on during a game against the Toronto Maple Leafs at Xfinity Mobile Arena on January 08, 2026 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images)

I Award Garnet Hathaway 4 Patrik Stefans Out Of 10

CAPE CANAVERAL, FLORIDA - JANUARY 17: NASA's Artemis II is rolled from the Vehicle Assembly Building to Launch Pad 39B at NASA’s Kennedy Space Center on January 17, 2026 in Cape Canaveral, Florida. NASA’s integrated SLS (Space Launch System) rocket and Orion spacecraft for the Artemis II mission are being rolled to Launch Pad 39B ahead of the 10-day mission in February 2026, which will take the crew around the Moon and back to Earth. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Science

I Am Not Immune To The Charms Of A Really Big Moon Rocket

SUNRISE, FLORIDA - JANUARY 19: Goaltender Sergei Bobrovsky #72 of the Florida Panthers fights with Goaltender Alex Nedeljkovic #33 of the San Jose Sharks at the Amerant Bank Arena on January 19, 2026 in Sunrise, Florida. (Photo by Eliot J. Schechter/NHLI via Getty Images)

2026 Is For Fighting

Music

‘The Disintegration Loops’ Are Music’s Loveliest Death

PITTSBURGH, PA - JANUARY 12: Aaron Rodgers #8 of the Pittsburgh Steelers takes the field before kickoff against the Houston Texans during an AFC Wild Card Playoff game at Acrisure Stadium on January 12, 2026 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images)

Remember When Aaron Rodgers Was Good?

OTTAWA, ON - NOVEMBER 14: Ottawa Senators Mascot Spartacat in the crowd during second period National Hockey League action between the Philadelphia Flyers and Ottawa Senators on November 14, 2024, at Canadian Tire Centre in Ottawa, ON, Canada. (Photo by Richard A. Whittaker/Icon Sportswire)

The Ottawa Senators Are Having A Normal One

NEWARK, NJ - JANUARY 04: Luke Hughes #43 of the New Jersey Devils skates during the first period of the game against the Carolina Hurricanes on January 4, 2026 at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Rich Graessle/NHLI via Getty Images)

Rough Night At The Office For Luke Hughes

PALM BEACH, FLORIDA - JANUARY 03: U.S. President Donald Trump addresses the media during a news conference at his Mar-a-Lago club on January 03, 2026, in Palm Beach, Florida. President Trump confirmed that the United States military carried out a large-scale strike in Caracas overnight, resulting in the capture of Venezuelan leader Nicolás Maduro and his wife, Cilia Flores. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Politics

Donald Trump Will Tell You Exactly What He Wants From Venezuela

TAMPA, FL - OCTOBER 24: Wide receiver Eric Page #17 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers fumbles a punt return against the Carolina Panthers October 24, 2013 at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida. Carolina recovered and won 31 - 13. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

The NFC South Gets The Week 18 It Deserves

MILAN, ITALY - DECEMBER 08: (EDITOR’S NOTE: Multiple exposures were combined in camera to produce this image.) Players competes during 2026 IIHF U20 World Championship Division Group B match between Poland and Italy at Milano Rho Ice Hockey Arena on December 08, 2025 in Milan, Italy. The event serves as test event for the upcoming Milano Cortina 2026 Winter Olympics. (Photo by Mattia Ozbot/Getty Images)

Here Are The American Hockey Men

Year In Review

What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

EDMONTON, CANADA - DECEMBER 21: Connor McDavid #97 of the Edmonton Oilers shields the puck from Jeremy Lauzon #5 of the Vegas Golden Knights during the second period of the game at Rogers Place on December 21, 2025, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Leila Devlin/Getty Images)

Connor McDavid, Speed Demon

ST. LOUIS, MO - SEPTEMBER 30: St. Louis Blues forward Milan Lucic (12) grabs a breath after a shift late in the game during a pre-season game where the St. Louis Blues hosted the Dallas Stars on Tuesday September 30, 2025, at the Enterprise Center in St. Louis MO (Photo by Rick Ulreich/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Milan Lucic Signed In Scotland And People Are Quitting Their Jobs Over It

PITTSBURGH, PA - DECEMBER 9: Ville Husso #33 of the Anaheim Ducks protects the net against the Pittsburgh Penguins at PPG PAINTS Arena on December 9, 2025 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Joe Sargent/NHLI via Getty Images)

If It Wins Like A Duck

JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA - DECEMBER 07: Daniel Jones #17 of the Indianapolis Colts is checked on by trainers after an injury during the first quarter against the Jacksonville Jaguars at EverBank Stadium on December 07, 2025 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Mike Carlson/Getty Images)

That About Does It For The Colts

MILAN, ITALY - NOVEMBER 26: An general view of the Milano Santa Giulia Ice Hockey Arena located in the Santa Giulia district on November 26, 2025 in Milan, Italy. For the 2026 Olympic Games, a new multi-purpose arena will be inaugurated, where 16,000 people will be able to watch the best national teams and the great international stars of ice hockey and para ice hockey on November 26, 2025 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Vincenzo Lombardo/Getty Images)

Olympics

What’s Going On With The Olympic Hockey Arena?

CLEVELAND, OHIO - NOVEMBER 30: Jauan Jennings #15 of the San Francisco 49ers celebrates after scoring touchdown during the fourth quarter of the NFL 2025 game against the Cleveland Browns at Huntington Bank Field on November 30, 2025 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Lauren Leigh Bacho/Getty Images)

Everyone Wants To Punch Jauan Jennings In The Nuts

The Phoenix Mercury logo and the planet Mercury.

This Is So Stupid

The Phoenix Mercury’s New Logos Vs. The Planet Mercury: An Exhausting Showdown

IN SPACE - MAY 23: In this handout image provided by the European Space Agency (ESA) and NASA, the International Space Station and the docked space shuttle Endeavour orbit Earth during Endeavour's final sortie on May 23, 2011 in Space. Italian astronaut Paolo Nespoli captured the first-ever images of an orbiter docked to the International Space Station from the viewpoint of a departing vessel as he returned to Earth in a Soyuz capsule. (Photo by Paolo Nespoli - ESA/NASA via Getty Images)

One Small Step For A Moss, One Giant Leap For Mosskind

MONTREAL, QUEBEC - NOVEMBER 22: Dakota Mermis #36 of the Toronto Maple Leafs fights Florian Xhekaj #63 of the Montréal Canadiens during the third period at Bell Centre on November 22, 2025 in Montreal, Quebec. (Photo by Reuben Polansky-Shapiro/NHLI via Getty Images)

You’re Either An Arber Xhekaj Or A Simona Xhekaj

BUFFALO, NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 19: Devin Cooley #1 of the Calgary Flames stands during the singing of 'O Canada' prior to an NHL game on November 19, 2025 at KeyBank Center in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Ben Ludeman/NHLI via Getty Images)

World’s Most Normal Goalie: “Nothing Matters, Nobody Cares, We’re All Gonna Die”

Arts And Culture

The Eyes Have It

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - OCTOBER 26: Tom Brady looks on from the field during warmups prior to an NFL football game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles at Lincoln Financial Field on October 26, 2025 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Perry Knotts/Getty Images)

Animals

Tom Brady Cloned His Dead Dog As A Brand Activation

TORONTO, ON - NOVEMBER 01: Will Smith #16 of the Los Angeles Dodgers tags out Isiah Kiner-Falefa #7 of the Toronto Blue Jays at home in the ninth inning during Game Seven of the 2025 World Series presented by Capital One between the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Toronto Blue Jays at Rogers Centre on Saturday, November 1, 2025 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Daniel Shirey/MLB Photos via Getty Images)