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Albert Burneko

Assignment Editor

Chefector

Pink Lemonade For Everybody!

Media Meltdowns

Everyone Who Knows What Elizabeth Holmes Did Wrong, Step Forward (Not So Fast, The New York Times)

Capital

Jordan Neely Just Needed Some Help

NBA

Well, Shit: Steph Curry’s Fourth-Quarter Buckets, Graded For Rudeness

Chefector

How To Help Your Kids Learn To Like A Food

April 29, 2023
NBA

Giannis Erupts On Reporter With Heated Display Of Nuanced Understanding Of The Ultimate Purpose Of Sport

April 27, 2023
NBA

The Knicks Spent A Quarter In Hell

April 19, 2023
Chefector

Uncleanliness Is Next To Godliness

April 18, 2023
La Liga

Barcelona’s Doing Its Damnedest To Make Winning Boring

April 17, 2023
NBA

A Timely Preview Of The 2023 NBA Playoffs, Almost Certainly Including All Of The Participants

April 14, 2023
Politics

Clarence Thomas Has A Billionaire Sponsor And Nobody Can Do Anything About It

This Is So Stupid

It’s Too Easy To Steal Bases!

MLB

Los Angeles Angel Of Anaheim Does Amazing Baseball Thing, For Naught

March 31, 2023
Politics

Bring Forth The Arrest

March 21, 2023
La Liga

Things Are Looking Up For Barcelona, So Long As You Don’t Look Up

March 20, 2023
Chefector

How To Break Free Of Recipe Dependence

March 18, 2023
This Is So Stupid

Which Three Fingers Did Ron DeSantis Use To Slurp Down Chocolate Pudding Like A Damn Raccoon?

March 16, 2023
Champions League

Erling Haaland Is A Bolt, Or Five, Of Lightning

March 15, 2023
Champions League

Paris Ain’t Germane (To The Discussion Of Possible Champions League Winners)

March 9, 2023
The Great Outdoors

I Have Been Defeated And Humbled By My Hated Foe, The Wind

The Machines

Get A Load Of This Sorry Piece Of Crap

February 23, 2023
NBA

Chicago Bulls Organization Experiences Performance-Limiting Brain Condition While Participating In Lonzo Ball Injury Updates

February 21, 2023
Chefector

It’s Good To Make Your Own Stock Sometimes

February 18, 2023
This Is So Stupid

Google’s Search Engine Reveals Its Feelings: Destroy All Humans With A Rain Of Nuclear Fire

February 16, 2023
NBA

Nets Coach: The Challenge With Ben Simmons Is He Is A Crappy Player

February 14, 2023
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