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Defector

Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2026: Dallas Cowboys

Ray Ratto

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is seen on the field prior to the game against the New York Jets at MetLife Stadium on October 5, 2025 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

The Raised Middle Finger Is Implied

Owner Jerry Jones of the Dallas Cowboys looks on before the game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on September 21, 2025. He has big sunglasses on.

For Jerry Jones, A Tie Is As Good As A Win

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - AUGUST 11: Jerry Jones attends the Premiere of Netflix's "America's Team: The Gambler And His Cowboys" at The Egyptian Theatre Hollywood on August 11, 2025 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

What’s In Jerry Jones’s Head?

Staff Writer
Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

Chris Thompson

Micah Parsons lying down on a table on the sidelines.

The Cowboys’ Annual Contract Stalemate Is Getting Awkward

Israel Daramola

New Cowboys Docuseries Offers Revealing Look Up Jerry Jones’s Own Ass

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones speaks to reporters during the team's training camp at River Ridge Playing Fields on July 25, 2024 in Oxnard, CA.

Why Your Team Sucks 2025: Dallas Cowboys

Samer Kalaf

The Cowboys’ Annual Contract Stalemate Has A Fun New Twist

Jerry Jones, owner of the Dallas Cowboys, is seen on the field prior to a game against the Washington Commanders. His sunglasses are sitting in kind of a weird way, like hovering above his nose.

Jerry Jones Is Negotiating With Himself, As Usual

Head coach Mike McCarthy of the Dallas Cowboys looks on during the fourth quarter against the Carolina Panthers at Bank of America Stadium on December 15, 2024.

Mike McCarthy, Who Couldn’t Escape The Cowboys, Escapes The Cowboys

Barry Petchesky

ARLINGTON, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 10: Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones looks on before a game against the Philadelphia Eagles at AT&amp;T Stadium on November 10, 2024 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Sam Hodde/Getty Images)

The Forces Of Nature Are Arrayed Against Jerry Jones

ARLINGTON, TEXAS - OCTOBER 10: The sun shines through the windows at AT&amp;T Stadium during the game between the Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants on October 10, 2021 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Richard Rodriguez/Getty Images)

Jerry Jones Does Not Have Sufficient Respect For The Sun

David Roth

Closeup of painted Oakland Raiders fans in Black Hole during game vs New York Jets in Oakland in 2003. They've got like weird helmets and skull stuff going on.

A Taste Of That Football-Shaped Bread, With Ray Ratto

Patrick Redford

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - NOVEMBER 03: Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys walks off the field after a loss to the Atlanta Falcons at Mercedes-Benz Stadium on November 03, 2024 in Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images)

The Cowboys Are In The Pain Zone

Dallas Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy speaks to media at a press conference after the game against the Detroit Lions on October 13, 2024. He is wearing a plaid Cowboys hat and looks exhausted.

Mike McCarthy Is Still Sitting In The Hottest Seat In Sports

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones looks on before a game against the Baltimore Ravens at AT&amp;T Stadium on September 22, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

Jamboroo

The 2024 NFL Season Is A Hater’s Paradise

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones looks on, and kind of like a very rich/mean version of Yoda, before a game against the Baltimore Ravens in September of 2024.

Jerry Jones Doesn’t Appreciate Your Tone

Mike McCarthy of the Dallas Cowboys looks on from the field prior to an NFL wild-card playoff football game against the Green Bay Packers at AT&amp;T Stadium on January 14, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

Mike McCarthy Must Be Doing Something Right

Jim Trotter smiles during a media appearance.

Jim Trotter’s Racial Discrimination Lawsuit Makes Working For NFL Network Sound Like A Nightmare

Jerry Jones the owner of the Dallas Cowboys against the Tennessee Titans at Nissan Stadium on December 29, 2022 in Nashville, Tennessee.

Why Your Team Sucks 2023: Dallas Cowboys

Roger Goodell speaks to the assembled media with kind of a dippy grin on his face before the Super Bowl in February of 2023.