Welcome to the Defector College Football Watch Guide, where Israel Daramola and Ray Ratto will tell you which of the weekend’s college football games are worth giving a crap about.
Ray: Lots of things got chucked in the bin last week: Miami's unbeaten season and Mario Cristobal's muffled rage, Ryan Day's offseason peace of mind, Lane Kiffin's shiny glow in Baton Rouge, the Heisman Trophy projections (now it's Oklahoma State quarterback Drew Mestemaker and Boise State running back Dylan Riley as the favorites, right?), Nebraska's budget for the next seven years if it fires Matt Rhule and has to pay him $63 million to turn in his sideline credential—in all, it's just getting thicker at this end of the trough.
As a result, Georgia is the new badass in residence after stomping Ole Miss, 42-7, and UCLA and Utah are last unbeaten teams in FBS. Texas is back—what, for the third time now?—and there are still five Big Ten coaches who haven't gotten the memo to rip ESPN for jerry-rigging the committee rankings to satisfy their SEC overlords. Remember, children: A conspiracy doesn't have to be proven to be advanced—it only has to sound evil to be convincing—and college football's various hierarchies have been doing Satan's bidding since 1869. But never mind all that; you're already bought in, so enjoy hell. For now, let's dance that ska.
Israel: What has gotten into the College Football Playoff committee? Far be it from me to complain about rankings, especially in early November, but some of this logic is out of control. Alabama at No. 3 with two losses? Ohio State still ranked with a 6-3 record? South Carolina at No. 17?? Miami seems unusually punished for losing to Notre Dame by one score while missing their best player, and I don't even like Miami. Can we all just put the bottle—and all the money from expanding the playoff yet again—down for a second and think some things through? That's all I ask.
A note: For the rest of the season, we will be using the College Football Playoff rankings as the official team rankings. And now, onto the games:
Illinois at (4) UCLA — Friday, 9:00 p.m. ET on FOX
The Bruins have taken awhile to make the voters notice, but that "0" in the losses column casts an increasingly significant shadow, especially now that they have lost no sense of the beat with backup quarterback Ty Dieffenbach in the leather chair. Illinois is 118th in passing yards allowed per game, and even though UCLA's offensive driver is running back Wayne Knight, truthfully this is not a prototypical Bruins team in that it leads with its defense, which ought to be more than enough. — Ray
Florida State at Pitt — Friday, 7:00 p.m. ET on ESPN
(14) Houston at Colorado — Friday, 10:15 p.m. ET on ESPN
FSU has an easier task here than the Buffs do, but both these games are something to keep an eye on. Deion Sanders might have to put his best foot forward, because I cannot honestly deny that he could finagle a way into the FSU coaching vacancy in some capacity if he decides to go for it. Now I've just depressed myself. — Israel
Duke at (7) Miami — Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET on ABC
(13) Wake Forest at SMU — Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET on ESPN
The ACC is not yet up for grabs, but could conceivably be if Miami loses here after losing to Notre Dame last week. True, Mario Cristobal thought the Canes got jobbed on what could have been the tying touchdown, but on balance, the better-performing team won. Indeed, the Irish ranking spike is likely to look good on Miami's postseason résumé, which is not "Can they make the Playoff?" as much as it is "But where are they seeded?" For their part, the Duke Blue Devils at 7-2 are very much a player here, and if the Malachi Toney blues persist, they could start throwing some committee room elbows themselves.
Wake Forest, on the other hand, did not move much after easing past FCS indie program Merrimack, 77-0. SMU rallied from its absurd loss to Syracuse to smack Virginia Tech, and being at home can only help, but if Wake Forest wins here, they can make the same case for postseason considerations as Duke, whatever they are. — Ray
Northwestern at (20) Ohio State — Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET on FOX
Again, these rankings are all over the place. Anyway, Northwestern has lost all its juice, but here's its best chance to try and get it back. Otherwise, the Wildcats will allow this disappointing Buckeyes squad to regain some dignity. Jeremiah Smith's season deserves better than this. — Israel
(22) Missouri at (1) Georgia — Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET on ABC
SEC bias is both working for and against Mizzou here. They're a hassle to deal with, and this can be a potential issue for Georgia, which is the most "I'll have the usual, plus black coffee"-ass football team there's ever been. The Bulldogs can come out here and just flatten everyone, but they better make sure to do it right away. You don't want the Tigers hanging around for too long. — Israel
(18) USC at (9) Indiana — Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET on CBS
Curt Cignetti can work at his current job until five years past his death if he wants, while Lincoln Riley has been week-to-week for three years now. We're sure the postgame handshake will be warm and heartfelt. — Ray
Baylor at (10) BYU — Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET on FOX
Michigan at (16) Oregon — Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET on FS1
I can't make heads or tails of either Oregon or BYU. The Cougars are good, and their quarterback has played well, and yet they inspire no faith in me whatsoever. They should be good enough to take care of Baylor, though, even if BYU weren't coming off a Holy War loss and needing to take out some frustration on a lesser opponent. In the case of Oregon, they need to handle Michigan definitively. The Ducks cannot get into a situation where they're just unable to pull away in a low-scoring game. Do not ask Dylan Raiola to win this for you, for everyone's sake. — Israel
Louisville at North Carolina — Saturday, 7:00 p.m. ET on ESPN2
Bill Belichick's UNC is suddenly the hottest four-loss team in football—just in time to face a shaky Louisville team. It's one thing to get up for a Miami squad, but will the Tar Heels have the same juice here? This is one to occasionally flip to in the midst of a crowded television field at that hour. Very few of those games are worth full commitment, but they're all worth dropping in on, just to see if something completely inexplicable will happen. — Israel
Oregon State at (24) Boise State — Saturday, 6:00 p.m. ET on USA
UNLV at New Mexico — Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET on The CW
Oregon State is running out of steam after losing at home to Texas State last week, allowing five rushing touchdowns and 386 yards on the ground in a 42-21 loss, while Boise State put 64 on Colorado State with backup quarterback Max Cutforth running the offense, which we mention mostly because Max Cutforth is actually Jennifer Coolidge's love interest in the Hallmark movie Christmas In The Drunk Tank. A potentially interesting game, though likely to just be another blue-turf beatdown. As for the Lobos, they mauled Nevada by four scores a week ago and now face their sister school downstate in a game that figures to be only slightly more difficult. New Mexico leads the nation in scoring defense (10.9 points allowed per game), which sort of neutralizes any other research that needs be done here. — Ray
(2) Utah at (23) Arizona — Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET on FOX
Having survived the entire population of the state rushing the field after beating BYU, the Utes have to reassemble their faculties for a sneaky tough game against an Arizona team whose quarterback, Noah Fifita, is fourth in passing yards, fifth in completion percentage, ninth in passing touchdowns and 13th in sacks taken. Guess what Utah's going to do defensively, we dare you. — Ray
(6) Texas at (21) LSU — Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET on ABC
Having sobered up and endured the migraines of successive losses at home to Florida and Oklahoma, the Longhorns are suddenly back in the opinion-spewers' good graces, while LSU just took their third loss, a comprehensive 31-13 groining at the hands of Alabama. This game reeks of "anything could happen," but probably won't, and Arch Manning has emerged from the Phantom Zone. Not that he can't return there, but at this point we wouldn't trust LSU to buy a turkey, let alone deep-fry one for the holiday. — Ray
North Texas at UTSA — Saturday, 9:00 p.m. ET on ESPNU
A battle between two of the better American Conference teams. Also probably a matchup between two coaches who are going to garner a lot of interest from top schools (mine included ... maybe). — Israel
(12) Texas Tech at (25) Oklahoma State — Saturday, 9:30 p.m. ET on ESPN
The final score should be 874-873. That means the game will end about 2 a.m., at which point you'll probably be too drunk to read the score bug, so we could tell you anything and you'd have to believe it. — Ray
Wyoming at UTEP — Saturday, 10:00 p.m. ET on FS1
I don't know, I just really like watching Wyoming football right now. I can't explain it; they're fun! — Israel
North Dakota State at Hawai'i — Saturday, 11:00 p.m. ET on The CW
Late-night Hawaii football is back! Break out that Maui Wowie, and put the kids to bed early. Unfortunately for our Rainbow Warriors, they face off against a quality NDSU team that will probably put a hurting on them. I do not see them kicking their way out of this one. — Israel
YOUR OBERLIN MINUTE
There are any number of downmarket goodies this week—equally undefeated CSU Pueblo at Western Colorado (combined record 20-0), Hardin-Simmons at Mary Hardin-Baylor (combined record 16-1, two Texas schools resurrected by the same couple 90 some-odd years ago in a traditional battle to see who Mom likes best), Lackawanna at Slippery Rock (the visitor is winless, the home team is unbeaten, and the question is whether the Rock can beat Endicott's 93 points last week over New England College), and Benedictine at Concordia (combined record 18-0, bringing back the proud tradition of Catholics fighting Lutherans). But we are here only for one game, and that is Oberlin (0-9) against Wittenberg (0-9). Clear your plans this Saturday at 1 p.m. ET.
On digital paper, the Wits (a.k.a. Tigers) have it all over our beloved Yeo: more points scored (69-57), fewer points allowed (252-536), three games in which they lost by a touchdown or less to none whatsoever (a 34-7 loss to Wabash in September is the closest Oberlin has come to not being routed all year). But since this is the last game for both teams, barring bribe-powered invitations to the Division III playoffs, the impetus to not get blown out of the stadium is, well, conceptual. And therein lies the best news of all: no Oberlin Minutes for another 10 months, maybe ever. This ridiculous and painfully repetitive tripe doesn't write itself, you know, and the psychic toll is considerable. — Ray
