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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI - JUNE 15: In this handout image provided by the Kansas City Chiefs, Travis Kelce and Patrick Mahomes of the Kansas City Chiefs pose during the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LVII Ring Ceremony at Union Station on June 15, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Handout/Kansas City Chiefs via Getty Images)

Funbag

True Confessions: I Am A “Count The Ringzz” Bro

Atlanta Falcons head coach looking kind of furtive and weird on the sidelines during his team's loss to the Miami Dolphins in 2021.

Arthur Smith Fails To Adequately Use Bijan Robinson, Own Brain

Carson Wentz grinning weirdly on the field before a Washington Commanders game in 2022.

You Thought You’d Seen The Last Of Carson Wentz. You Were Tragically Mistaken

Bears coach Matt Eberflus grimacing in kind of a Popeye style on the sideline at Soldier Field during his team's game against the Vikings.

Matt Eberflus: Justin Fields Is Out Tonight, But Also Doubtful, But Also Who’s Really To Say?

Long Beach, CA - July 29:Billy the Puppet, from the "SAW" horror film franchise, making its first public appearance, as part of the "SAW X" film promotion and exhibit inside Midsummer Scream, a Halloween and horror convention, at Long Beach Convention Center, in Long Beach, CA, Saturday, July 29, 2023. The latest installment of the series follows serial killer Jigsaw, as he exacts revenge against con artists. The gathering, from Friday through Sunday, features all things Halloween and in the horror genre, with many attendees dressing up as their favorite characters, across TV, film, comics and animation. (Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times via Getty Images)

I Would Not Make A Good Jigsaw Killer

Head coach Josh McDaniels of the Las Vegas Raiders looks on in the second half of a game against the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on October 30, 2023 in Detroit, Michigan.

Do Not Disrespect The Patriots In Front Of The Man Who No Longer Works For Them

Tyreek Hill of Miami Dolphins and Trent McDuffie of Kansas City Chiefs battle for the ball during the NFL match between Miami Dolphins and Kansas City Chiefs at Deutsche Bank Park on November 5, 2023 in Frankfurt am Main, Germany.

Ach! Tyreek Hill Machen Ze Fumble! Is Choker, Ja?

Washington Huskies running back Dillon Johnson (7) scores on a 52-yard-run against USC Trojans safety Calen Bullock (7) in the second quarter at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum November 4, 2023 in Los Angeles, California.

College Football

Dillon Johnson Just Did Some Serious Video Game Shit To USC

GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN - OCTOBER 29: Kirk Cousins #8 of the Minnesota Vikings runs onto the field before a game against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on October 29, 2023 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images)

Jamboroo

The End Of Kirk Cousins

LAS VEGAS, NV - JULY 8: Sphere displays the In Season Tournament visuals on its exterior, the largest LED screen on Earth, during the 2023 Las Vegas Summer League on July 8, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2023 NBAE (Photo by David Dow/NBAE via Getty Images)

Podcasts

The NBA In-Season Tourney Is A Recipe For Blindness, With Ray Ratto

ARLINGTON, TX - OCTOBER 28: Alek Thomas #5, Corbin Carroll #7 and Lourdes Gurriel Jr. #12 of the Arizona Diamondbacks celebrate after the Diamondbacks defeated the Texas Rangers in Game 2 of the 2023 World Series between the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Texas Rangers at Globe Life Field on Saturday, October 28, 2023 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Rob Tringali/MLB Photos via Getty Images)

Now That I Think About It, The Unwritten Rules Of Baseball Are Actually Cool

"El Corazon Secreto" (The Secret Heart) art installation by Spanish artist Jaume Plensa is pictured at the Hospital Clinic in Barcelona on September 28, 2023, marking the World Heart Day.

The Way To My Heart

JAPAN, TOKYO - MARCH 17 : Sumo Wrestler Training in Sumida. Sumo wrestlers training in the Azumazeki-beya, located at Higashi–Komagata, Sumida. The sumo-beya, aka heya ('room') is an organization of sumo wrestlers where they train and live. All wrestlers in professional sumo must belong to one. There are currently 43 heya on MARCH 17, 2015 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Frédéric Soltan/Corbis via Getty Images)

Life With Manboobs

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 16: Actors Jeff Bridges (L) and John Goodman attend "The Big Lebowski" Blu-ray release at the Hammerstein Ballroom on August 16, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/FilmMagic)

A Requiem For “Dude”

Foxborough, MA - October 8: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick walks off the field following the game. The Patriots lost to the New Orleans Saints, 34-0. (Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Bill Belichick Is Going Out The Way He Came In

The driver rating screen in an Uber app is seen February 12, 2016 in Washington, DC. - Global ridesharing service Uber said February 12, 2016 it had raised $200 million in additional funding to help its push into emerging markets.The latest round comes from Luxembourg-based investment group LetterOne (L1), according to a joint statement. (Photo by Brendan Smialowski / AFP) (Photo by BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP via Getty Images)

The Five-Star Rating System Is Dogshit. Here’s How We Can Fix It

Jordan Love is pushed by a Raiders defender after throwing a pass.

Jordan Love Flops Against A Very Bearsy Opponent

08 March 2022, Baden-Wuerttemberg, Rottweil: Various streaming services can be seen on the display of an iPhone SE. Photo: Silas Stein/dpa (Photo by Silas Stein/picture alliance via Getty Images)

The Future Of Streaming Will Look A Lot Like The Present Of Streaming

Atlanta Falcons' Desmond Ridder during the NFL International match at Wembley Stadium, London. Picture date: Sunday October 1, 2023. (Photo by Bradley Collyer/PA Images via Getty Images)

Hey, Guess Who Sucks? It’s Desmond Ridder!

20th August 1943: Three schoolboys carrying baskets of apples after picking fruit during a stay at the Bishop of Rochesters Harvesting Camp at Cranbrook in Kent. (Photo by Reg Speller/Fox Photos/Getty Images)

Chefector

Fuck It, It’s Apple Crisp Season

ATHENS, GA - SEPTEMBER 23: UAB Blazers Head Coach Trent Dilfer looks on prior to the college football game between the UAB Blazers and the Georgia Bulldogs on September 23, 2023, at Sanford Stadium in Athens, GA. (Photo by Jeffrey Vest/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Coaching UAB Has Freed Trent Dilfer To Be The Unremarkable Asshole He’s Always Dreamed Of Being

Driving Is The Nemesis Of All Parents

FUNBAG header art, it's a B&W image of a woman hitting a guy with a briefcase or book or something

Beware Of Assholes Trying To Co-Opt Mental Health Awareness

on Day One of the 2018 US Open at the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center on August 27, 2018 in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City.

Chris Fowler Is The Best To Ever Do It

DW Griffith, Mary Pickford, Charlie Chaplin, Douglas Fairbanks signing contract establishing United Artists motion picture studio. (Photo by: Photo12/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)