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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko.bsky.social
The Machines
Elon Musk’s Idiot Chatbot Goes Full Boer
By
Albert Burneko
May 15, 2025
245
Comments
Journalismism
NYT Reporter: It’s Not Corruption Unless The Envelope Says “Bribe” On It
By
Albert Burneko
May 12, 2025
384
Comments
Animals
For Bea
By
Albert Burneko
May 9, 2025
107
Comments
This Is So Stupid
Allowing For Various Metaphors
By
Albert Burneko
May 8, 2025
218
Comments
NBA
The Celtics Will Just Keep Doing This Until We Are All Driven Insane
By
Albert Burneko
May 6, 2025
156
Comments
The Machines
Only Kevin Roose’s Editors Despise Him More Than I Do
By
Albert Burneko
April 25, 2025
213
Comments
Media Meltdowns
Henry Blodget Invents, Hires, Sexually Harasses, Blogs About Nonexistent AI Subordinate
By
Albert Burneko
April 22, 2025
217
Comments
Science
At What Point Has One Actually “Been To” Space?
By
Albert Burneko
April 15, 2025
320
Comments
This Is So Stupid
Tech CEO: Do Not Say To Me That I Was Not Just Assassinated By The Jackal
By
Albert Burneko
April 2, 2025
323
Comments
Chefector
I Have Been Defeated And Humbled By A Shortage Of Ketchup
By
Albert Burneko
March 23, 2025
172
Comments
Animals
For Chop
By
Albert Burneko
March 14, 2025
296
Comments
This Is So Stupid
Not Enough People Are Taking The Wallet Inspector Seriously
By
Albert Burneko
March 6, 2025
187
Comments
Soccer
Luis Rubiales Found Guilty Of Sexually Assaulting Jenni Hermoso
By
Albert Burneko
February 20, 2025
70
Comments
Soccer
A German Coach, The Spanish Media, And Google Translate Walk Into A Press Conference
By
Albert Burneko
January 15, 2025
94
Comments
Soccer
Deadbeat Club Scrambling To Keep Players It Never Should Have Acquired [Update]
By
Albert Burneko
December 27, 2024
102
Comments
This Is So Stupid
I Would Not Take My Post-Assassination Meal At An Altoona McDonald’s, But I Guess I’m Built Different
By
Albert Burneko
December 9, 2024
596
Comments
Journalismism
Can Someone Please Write Normally About This Fascinating Woman?
By
Albert Burneko
November 20, 2024
369
Comments
Media Meltdowns
What The Fuck Is A “Vaccine Skeptic”?
By
Albert Burneko
November 15, 2024
679
Comments
Elder Wisdom
Bring Back Weird Halloween Candies
By
Albert Burneko
November 1, 2024
381
Comments
English Premier League
More Like Erik Done Hag
By
Albert Burneko
October 28, 2024
69
Comments
NBA
Victor Wembanyama’s Hands Missed Opening Night
By
Albert Burneko
October 25, 2024
77
Comments
NBA
A Preview Of The 2024-25 NBA Season, Accurately Enumerating Everything That Will Happen In It
By
Albert Burneko
,
Chris Thompson
,
Giri Nathan
,
Luis Paez-Pumar
,
Patrick Redford
,
Ray Ratto
, and
Tom Ley
October 23, 2024
247
Comments
Elder Wisdom
Point/Counterpoint: Friday Night Playoff Games
By
Barry Petchesky
and
Albert Burneko
October 18, 2024
174
Comments
Elder Wisdom
When The Toilet Rings, You Must Answer The Call
By
Albert Burneko
September 24, 2024
132
Comments
Science
Neither Elon Musk Nor Anybody Else Will Ever Colonize Mars
By
Albert Burneko
September 11, 2024
564
Comments
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