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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

Jamboroo

I Am The Passenger Now

Father cooking on barbecue with wife and daughters

I Have Given My Sons The Gift Of Fire

CLEVELAND - 1987: Defensive backs Hanford Dixon #29 and Frank Minnifield #31 of the Cleveland Browns draw plays in the dirt on the field before a game at Municipal Stadium circa 1987 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by George Gojkovich/Getty Images)

A Well-Executed Day

Swimming pool , family , legs - stock photo

Dadfector

I Told My Kids I Peed In The Pool

A toy vendor is selling toys in Colombo, Sri Lanka, on February 28, 2024. (Photo by Thilina Kaluthotage/NurPhoto)

Funbag

The World Will Drown In Cheap Toys

Students at the University of Birmingham take part in their degree congregations as they graduate on July 14, 2009 in Birmingham, England. Over 5000 graduates will be donning their robes this week to collect their degrees from The University of Birmingham. A recent survey suggested that there are 48 graduates competing for every job.

Elder Wisdom

To My Daughter, The Graduate: This Is All Your Fault

Mother trying to make daughter (4-5) finish food at table. It's an old stock photo from the 1940s.

A Taxonomy Of Mom Sounds

Help! I’m Worried My Sons Will Turn Out To Be Total Assholes!

A mother marks her son's height on the door with a pencil, circa 1950. (Photo by FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

When Your Kids Are Kids Again

STOCKTON, CA - SEPTEMBER 29: A school bus carries children at sunrise on Bethel Island, one of the residential islands surrounded by levees that hold back the higher waters of the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta on September 29, 2005 west of Stockton, California. Officials say that the dikes of the Sacramento-San Joaquin River Delta are in worse shape than those that broke and flooded New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina. There is a two-in-three chance that a catastrophic earthquake or storm in the next 50 years may damage the levees enough to cause the kind of destruction that engulfed New Orleans, according to experts. Such an event would affect the water supply that serves two-thirds of California and create a nightmare traffic jam on Highway 4, the two-lane road that would be the major evacuation route, if it is not damaged beyond usability. Approximately 1,600 miles of levees protect the delta's islands, which lie well below sea-level, and most were built more than 100 years ago. (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)

The Last Bus

BOULDER, COLORADO - APRIL 22: Head coach Deion Sanders of the Colorado Buffaloes watches as his team warms up prior to their spring game at Folsom Field on April 22, 2023 in Boulder, Colorado. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Don’t Rank Your Children, You Domineering Prick

View of young music fans as they look at vinyl LPs in the racks of an unidentified record store, Falls Church, Virginia, October 13, 1977. The teen at fore holds two albums ('New England' and 'Locked In') by British rock group Wishbone Ash. (Photo by Warren K Leffler/US News & World Report Magazine Photograph Collection/PhotoQuest/Getty Images)

What Crap Should My Teenager Have To Pay For?

Ray Ratto

LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 7: Brice James, Bronny James and LeBron James #6 of the Los Angeles Lakers talk during the game against the Oklahoma City Thunder on February 7, 2023 at Crypto.Com Arena in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2023 NBAE (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images)

The Dad Scouting Report On Bronny James Has Arrived

Pop Culture Is Good For Your Children

Lauren Theisen

Frankie Corio and Paul Mescal in 'Aftersun'

Defector At The Movies

In ‘Aftersun,’ It’s The Memory That Hurts

Rear view of car with handwritten sign reading Student Driver, warning other drivers that the person operating the vehicle is learning to drive, Dublin, California, May 2018. (Photo by Smith Collection/Gado/Getty Images)

When Your Kid Can Drive, They Can Do Anything

A boy in bed with a copy of 'Horror Stories' comic book, circa 1960. (Photo by Hunter/FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

Help! My Kid Knows About Death Now!

It’s True: Your Parents Will Eventually Possess Your Body

Albert Burneko

Politics

What It’s Like Here

You Deserve A Dad Pat Today

Father entertains five children with a toy airplane as mother carries in a tray of food circa 1950. (Photo by FPG/Getty Images)

34 Things I Say To My Kids A Million Times A Day

American vaudeville actor Ray Bolger (1904 - 1987) prepares for the opening of WJZ-TV by the American Broadcasting Company at the Palace Theater in New York City, 10th August 1948. (Photo by Graphic House/Archive Photos/Getty Images)

The Best Time To Watch A Movie Is First Thing In The Morning

Photo of Bill Belichick during the 2013 AFC Divisional Playoffs game at Gillette Stadium on January 13, 2013 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.