I won't dispute that I once had red hair. Back in 2019, just for kicks, I went with a bright Hayley Williams–esque red that petered out for obvious reasons the following year. Then in 2025, with a 30th birthday and a big trip on the horizon, I decided to freshen up my look with a new color that my stylist tells me is as light as I can go without using bleach. For full transparency purposes, here is what it looks like the day after the salon.
I thought of this hair as simply a lighter version of my natural brunette, specifically because it paled in comparison to the unmistakably fiery hair I'd sported several years ago. But I quickly realized that other people—especially those I was meeting for the first time—perceived me differently. One red-haired guy initially saw me as a ginger peer before teasing me about my roots. A new acquaintance referenced knowing "another Lauren with red hair." It came up consistently in catcalls and compliments, so, finally, I couldn't help but wonder: Is my hair red?
My boyfriend overheard me pitch this story on Zoom, and after he finished laughing, he got to give the first input: "I would say it's red." Unconvinced, I asked a few close female friends. "Auburn maybe," said one. "I would say it has red undertones," said another. A guy friend texted back "Umm kinda? Or strawberry blonde? I struggle with that." I asked my pal Chloe, and she called it "a lighter, softer red" but definitely red, comparing it to the color of her cat's leg.
Here are the responses from my parents and my younger brother:
It was apparent that, to settle this question once and for all, I had to ask my Defector co-workers. I posted the photo at the top of this blog and queried, "Do I have red hair? reply if you have an opinion." What follows is a lightly edited transcript of the next 90 minutes or so, removing some of the lols and staffers revealing their wives' hair secrets.
Dave McKenna
[link to the Ron Sexsmith song "Strawberry Blonde"]
Albert Burneko
yes
Patrick Redford
yeah definitely
Kathryn Xu
yes
Luis Paez-Pumar
yeah
Giri Nathan
yeah
Ray Ratto
Definitely. But I can't be truly sure until I see the contrast with the pope hat.
Barry Petchesky
objectively yes but i also wouldn't dispute someone who referred to it as a shade of blonde or even of brown
Brandy Jensen
yeah
Alex Sujong Laughlin
yes
Dave McKenna
i don't know when mine went away or why but i miss it
Brandy Jensen
i feel like patrick's vote should count twice
Barry Petchesky
need kelsey’s take here
have the whole defector redhead council weighing in
Giri Nathan
people with red hair are statistically overrepresented on our staff
Ray Ratto
Everywhere but Scotland, to be frank.
Barry Petchesky
yeah we have three natural redheads? wtf
Giri Nathan
four
Barry Petchesky
who am i missing
lauren that’s not your natural shade is it
Jasper Wang
kelsey is blond and dyes her hair red
Giri Nathan
ok down to 2
Lauren Theisen
barry you've known me for 9 years
Barry Petchesky
well look i’m being attempted gaslit here
Lauren Theisen
(I am undoubtedly a natural brunette)
Jasper Wang
lauren in my mind's eye you are def not a redhead but i can't deny that photo
Ray Ratto
We grade on the full head of hair, not just the root structure.
Barry Petchesky
then dave’s off the list
down to one
Alex Laughlin
patrick do you feel that the dyed redheads have stolen valor
Patrick Redford
lonely at the top 
no its fine
Dave McKenna
hurtful
Barry Petchesky
dave if my hairline hangs on half as good as yours i'll feel like i hit the lottery
Dave McKenna
but i got not much proof anymore. photos were all black and white when i was red
Patrick Redford
everyone should get to experience the beauty and joy that me and dave mckenna get to experience every day with our red hair
Barry Petchesky
and higher pain tolerance
Brandy Jensen
no the opposite
Patrick Redford
and resistance to anesthesia
that shit does not work on my ass
Barry Petchesky
lower pain tolerance?
big whiny babies?
Dave McKenna
that shit does not work on my ass
Barry Petchesky
how does science know redheads don't just complain more
Dave McKenna
novocaine didn't do shit for this lad
Giri Nathan
at least you dont have the jannik sun weakness gene
Dave McKenna
i got sun weakness gene, back to causing probs
Patrick Redford
i too wilt, sadly
Giri Nathan
damn....
Kelsey McKinney
Lauren I think you're a redhead now
I also wilt even as a fake
Chris Thompson
this is crazy but if you'd asked me before the jpeg i would've said absolutely not, but now i cannot dispute the photographic evidence
Kelsey McKinney
Whats crazy is I was blonde still when we launched this site but no one remembers
Everyone becoming redheaded
Who will be next
Patrick Redford
i feel like #redheadsamerkalaf
Maitreyi Anantharaman
i will never steal redhead valor but i do have kind of a fake freckle addiction, possibly a subcategory of redhead stolen valor
Lauren Theisen
wow
you can definitely steal some of my freckles
Patrick Redford
everyone should feel free to appropriate as much redheadedness as you want
our culture is your costume
Kathryn Xu
learning that kelsey dyes her hair was a genuinely shocking moment for me
i never thought my beloved colleagues would keep such intel from me
Kelsey McKinney
Most white women dye their hair!!
Barry Petchesky
ok maybe i am exposing myself here but i do not think that is true
Kelsey McKinney
Yes it is lol
Barry Petchesky
that would rock my world
but i simply do not believe it
Lauren Theisen
I don't know that it's quite literally true but it's probably close
Kathryn Xu
ik that two girls in a summer program i went to were like "ugh it's so expensive to b blond" and i was like you're dying your hair blond??? permanently??
i also remember looking at hockey wags and being like ok there's no way that this works out statistically
but it turns out !! everyone is just pretending to be blond !!!
Giri Nathan
that i believe
Lauren Theisen
probably at least 80-90 percent of white women have had dyed hair at some point in their lives
Barry Petchesky
Ok I do assume that 90 percent of blondes are dyeing
Kelsey McKinney
It's so easy to dye your hair. Everyone does it
Ask your friends Barry
Kathryn Xu
it is so EXPENSIVE to dye your hair...
ig if you don't have to bleach
Brandy Jensen
I haven't had my natural hair color since I was 14
Tom Ley
better yet barry ask strangers
make that your thing
Kathryn Xu
you can diy
Kelsey McKinney
It's only expensive if you aren’t naturally blonde lmfao
Barry Petchesky
I have dated and lived with white women, some even blonde, and none of them dyed their hair…
Kelsey McKinney
Barry.
Lauren Theisen
Barry we've established that you might not even notice if they did
Kelsey McKinney
Also like think how little gray hair you see Barry
In women over 35 but under 60
Barry Petchesky
I see gray hair though
Kathryn Xu
it's the only color hair barry sees
Patrick Redford
wondering how many defector staffers barry could identify if given a photo lineup of the whole staff
Barry Petchesky
I think I would maybe believe that the majority of white women in America B dye their hair
But that's as far as I'll go
Kathryn Xu
when i encountered some of the skating moms when my lil sister did figure skating it was kinda shocking to me how many ppl did botox too
Patrick Redford
@Barry Petchesky who is this
Jasper Wang
most white women, and asian women, i know dye their hair
Giri Nathan
yeah dyeing from black is crazy expensive
Kathryn Xu
like i legitimately thought that was just smth celebrities did
Giri Nathan
the last time i did it it worked out to like $2 per day of having it lol
Kathryn Xu
yeah the thing is if i fully dye my hair it'll destroy it and then grow out in like two weeks
Jasper Wang
every asian woman my mother's age (late 60s) has been dying their hair black for a decade, and i have several friends aged ~40 who are also dying against gray
is it spelled dyeing? weird if it's dying
Samer Kalaf
it is dyeing
Kathryn Xu
ofc samer's first input is a copy thing
Barry Petchesky
Your honor I would like to introduce this into evidence
Brandy Jensen
i'm going through my mental rolodex trying to see if i know a single white woman who has never dyed her hair
i don't think so
Giri Nathan
it also does absolutely fry your hair to go through multiple rounds of bleach
Maitreyi Anantharaman
ever since he watched with awe as i returned a shopping cart in the parking lot at costco i've had some misgivings about barry's anthropological sense of america
Giri Nathan
fortunately my hair is 1 inch long but i imagine it would be annoying if it wasn't
Barry Petchesky
Good job everyone you just gave my ex hair dysmorphia
Billy Haisley
i know the context but i still wouldn't like the idea that i would text an ex out of the blue and her reply would include an interrobang and the phrase "Should I be dying"
Samer Kalaf
just tell her it's dyeing
Jasper Wang
kathryn i have done the math on this and i actually don't think it's particularly expensive. i guess it comes down to how much you care about roots so how often you're dyeing
Kathryn Xu
if i have to do it like four times a year that's already super expensive!
ig i just get haircuts once a year if that
Barry Petchesky
Wait do you dye your hair Kathryn
Maitreyi Anantharaman
yeah she's naturally blonde
Justin Ellis
Maybe she's born with it
Lauren Theisen
barry you should just list every staffer who you think dyes their hair
Brandy Jensen
give him some flash cards of various women
Barry Petchesky
i mean at gunpoint i'd have guessed two but i suppose i'm just naive
Brandy Jensen
who were the two
Barry Petchesky
you weren't among them brandy!
i'm naive
Maitreyi Anantharaman
barry lives in america c by himself
Barry Petchesky
i just live in a city without many white protestants, possibly
everyone in new york has black hair
Billy Haisley
curious to see if barry's attempt to woke his way out of essentially saying "i don't know how women live but have very strong opinions about it" will work out
Barry Petchesky
no one is allowed to get mad at me for believing women
Tom Ley
i think he's almost there tbh
Giri Nathan
everybody dye your hair a different color before the retreat to confuse barry
Brandy Jensen
barry isn't paying attention to women's hair color because he's too busy considering their ideas
Maitreyi Anantharaman
yeah!
Barry Petchesky
yeah!
i don’t see color
anyway i've texted several white exes about this so we'll see
one mentioned the word "balayage" but idk what that is so i'm ignoring it
Brandy Jensen
that's color
Barry Petchesky
maybe
Brandy Jensen
it's a way of highlighting
Maitreyi Anantharaman
did they by any chance all dump you for not paying enough attention to them
Barry Petchesky
no it's because i'm emotionally unavailable, thank you very much
Billy Haisley
this is barry right now
Maitreyi Anantharaman
all this talk had me thinking about how i need to go back to my roots
Brandy Jensen
regardless of your answer i miss the color you brought into my life
Barry Petchesky
Patrick Redford
ejkfbajkrbgjksrefh
Brandy Jensen
kdsh;dsklghsa;dlkghs
Patrick Redford
still
Tom Ley
oh man
Maitreyi Anantharaman
lmao
Barry Petchesky
ok i got got
Brandy Jensen
let's get barry's exes to blog about this
Jasper Wang
barry rn
Barry Petchesky
i'm dying
not dyeing though
i guess we can't all be natural blonds like me
In conclusion ... wait. I've forgotten my original question.
