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Luis Paez-Pumar

Spain players celebrate at the end during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Final match between Spain and England at Stadium Australia on August 20, 2023 in Sydney, Australia.

Spain’s Players Earned This World Cup

Patrick Redford

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - AUGUST 06: Vlatko Andonovski, Head Coach of USA, speaks to the media in the post match press conference following the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between Sweden and USA at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on August 06, 2023 in Melbourne / Naarm, Australia. (Photo by Alex Grimm - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

It Is Mercifully Vlatkover

Billy Haisley

Aitana Bonmati of Spain celebrates her team’s 2-1 victory and advance to the final following the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Semi Final match between Spain and Sweden at Eden Park on August 15, 2023 in Auckland / Tāmaki Makaurau, New Zealand.

Aitana Bonmatí Can’t Win

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - AUGUST 14: Manchester United supporters protest against Mason Greenwood of Manchester United and the Glazers, owners of Manchester United, outside the stadium prior to the Premier League match between Manchester United and Wolverhampton Wanderers at Old Trafford on August 14, 2023 in Manchester, England. (Photo by James Gill - Danehouse/Getty Images)

Manchester United Continues To Stumble Its Way Toward Reinstating Mason Greenwood

Lionel Messi #10 of Inter Miami CF celebrates after scoring a goal in the first half during the Leagues Cup 2023 semifinals match between Inter Miami CF and Philadelphia Union at Subaru Park on August 15, 2023 in Chester, Pennsylvania.

A Little Messi Goes A Long Way

Ray Ratto

Sam Kerr of Australia scores the teams first goal during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Semi Final match between Australia and England at Stadium Australia on August 16, 2023 in Sydney, Australia.

Sam Kerr Struck, But England Squeezed

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<div>Abigail Segel is a contributing writer at Defector. She is also an editor for The IX Soccer and the Equalizer. Her work has been published in the Guardian and the Montreal Gazette.</div>
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Abigail Segel

Australia and France women's national team players react to Australia's win in the 2023 World Cup quarterfinal.

The Matildas Turned My Hair White And They Haven’t Even Faced England Yet

Olga Carmona of Spain (R) attempts a kick while being defended by Nathalie Bjorn of Sweden (L) during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Semi Final match between Spain and Sweden at Eden Park on August 15, 2023 in Auckland, New Zealand.

Spain Rode A Thunderbolt Into The World Cup Final

Jorge Vilda, Head Coach of Spain, looks on during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Quarter Final match between Spain and Netherlands at Wellington Regional Stadium on August 11, 2023 in Wellington / Te Whanganui-a-Tara, New Zealand. (Photo by Katelyn Mulcahy - FIFA/FIFA via Getty Images)

When Your Coach Sucks, Everybody Loses

Neymar Jr of PSG looks on during the pre-season friendly match between Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) and FC Internazionale Milano at the Japan National Stadium on August 1, 2023 in Tokyo, Japan.

Neymar To Become The Latest And Saddest Passenger On The Saudi Gravy Train

Albert Burneko

Kylian Mbappé laughs while watching PSG from a skybox

After All That, Kylian Mbappé Will Stay At Paris Saint-Germain

The Premier League trophy after the Premier League match between Manchester City and Chelsea FC at Etihad Stadium on May 21, 2023 in Manchester, England.

Title And Relegation: A Preview Of The 2023-24 Premier League Season

Salma Paralluelo of Spain celebrates after scoring her team's second goal during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Quarter Final match between Spain and Netherlands at Wellington Regional Stadium on August 11, 2023 in Wellington, New Zealand.

Salma Paralluelo Shook The Netherlands Out Of The World Cup

Leo Messi control ball in the first half time at Toyota Stadium on August 6, 2023 in Frisco, Texas.

Lionel Messi Has Earned His American Victory Lap

Ousmane Dembélé in a Barcelona hoodie, smiling.

What The Hell Is Going On With Ousmane Dembélé?

Leicy Santos of Colombia controls the ball during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between Colombia and Jamaica at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on August 8, 2023 in Melbourne, Australia.

Colombia Knocked Out Jamaica And Can Now Return To Normal

Kenza Dali (3rd R) of France celebrates with teammates after scoring her team's second goal during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between France and Morocco at Hindmarsh Stadium on August 08, 2023 in Adelaide / Tarntanya, Australia.

France Is Taking Care Of Business

Lauren James of England stamps on Michelle Alozie of Nigeria which later leads to a red card being shown following a Video Assistant Referee review during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between England and Nigeria at Brisbane Stadium on August 07, 2023 in Brisbane / Meaanjin, Australia.

Nigeria Played Great And Made England Butt-Stomping Mad

MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - AUGUST 06: USA players react as Sophia Smith of USA misses her team's fifth penalty in the penalty shoot out during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between Sweden and USA at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on August 06, 2023 in Melbourne / Naarm, Australia. (Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images)

Sunrise Is Way Too Early To Be Crying For The USWNT

Caitlin Foord of Australia celebrates after scoring her team's first goal with teammates during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between Australia and Denmark at Stadium Australia on August 7, 2023 in Sydney, Australia.

Root, Root, Root For The Host Team

Kelley O'Hara, Alyssa Thompson, Megan Rapinoe, and Alyssa Naeher of the USA are dejected after their team was defeated in the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Round of 16 match between Sweden and USA at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on August 06, 2023 in Melbourne / Naarm, Australia.

The USWNT Lived By An Inch And Died By A Millimeter

Manuela Vanegas of Colombia celebrates after scoring her team's second goal during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Group H match between Germany and Colombia at Sydney Football Stadium on July 30, 2023 in Sydney, Australia.

The 16 Teams Left In The Women’s World Cup, Ranked By Coolness

A photo of Christen Press and Tobin Heath as they sit on the set of their show, the RE-CAP show, and discuss the USWNT tie with Portugal.

Tobin Heath And Christen Press Offer A Dose Of Sanity This World Cup

Sofia Bouftini and Morocco players celebrate advancing to the knock out stage after the 1-0 victory in the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Group H match between Morocco and Colombia at Perth Rectangular Stadium on August 03, 2023 in Perth, Australia.

Group H Gave This Group Stage The Astonishing Send-Off It Deserved

The players of Jamaica celebrate after winning the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Group F match between Jamaica and Brazil at Melbourne Rectangular Stadium on August 2, 2023 in Melbourne, Australia.