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Barry Petchesky

TORONTO, ON - APRIL 7: Jack Campbell #36 of the Toronto Maple Leafs is congratulated by teammate Auston Matthews #34 for breaking the consecutive win record for a Leaf against the Montreal Canadiens during an NHL game at Scotiabank Arena on April 7, 2021 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The Maple Leafs defeated the Canadiens 3-2. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Jack Campbell; Auston Matthews

Jack Campbell Can’t Lose

Lauren Theisen

The Canadiens Aren’t Thinking About Next Year

Justin Ellis

The NHL Has Made It Clear The COVID Outbreak On The Canucks Is Nothing To Worry About

How’s Your Lipreading?

Samer Kalaf

Nathan MacKinnon tosses Conor Garland's helmet back at his chest.

Nathan MacKinnon Got Ejected For Bonking A Guy With His Own Helmet

BUFFALO, NY - JANUARY 26: Jeff Skinner #53 of the Buffalo Sabres congratulates Linus Ullmark #35 after beating the New York Rangers at KeyBank Center on January 26 , 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

The Sabres Are Winners

BUFFALO, NY - MARCH 18: Buffalo Sabres interim head coach Don Granato (left) and assistant coach Matt Ellis behind the bench during the game against the Boston Bruins at KeyBank Center on March 18, 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

Give The Sabres The Stanley Cup Of Finding A Way To Lose

WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 25: Goalie Mackenzie Blackwood #29 of the New Jersey Devils tends the net against the Washington Capitals during the second period at Capital One Arena on March 25, 2021 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Ooooh, Jack Edwards Is Mad

Ray Ratto

The New York Rangers celebrate an empty net goal by Kaapo Kakko #24 against the Buffalo Sabres as Colin Miller #33 skates past the net at Madison Square Garden on March 22, 2021 in New York City.

As Terrible As They Are, The Buffalo Sabres Are Not The Worst Team In NHL History

NHL Quickly Distances Itself From Referee Shenanigans

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MARCH 22: The New York Rangers celebrate a second period goal by Kaapo Kakko #24 against the Buffalo Sabres at Madison Square Garden on March 22, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Oh, THERE’S Kaapo Kakko

Mika Zibanejad #93 and Pavel Buchnevich #89 of the New York Rangers

The Rangers, Without Their Coaches, Whooped The Flyers’ Asses

Maitreyi Anantharaman

Drake Batherson #19 of the Ottawa Senators skates to the bench after scoring a second period goal against the Toronto Maple Leafs at Canadian Tire Centre on March 14, 2021 in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

The Senators Are Now Proud Allies Of The Sicko Community

The Islanders Are Very Good, But They Don’t Have Alex Ovechkin

BUFFALO, NY - FEBRUARY 15: Sam Reinhart #23 of the Buffalo Sabres before the game against the New York Islanders at KeyBank Center on February 15, 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

This Is Rock Bottom

TORONTO, ON - FEBRUARY 22: Auston Matthews #34 of the Toronto Maple Leafs stretches during the warm-up prior to playing against the Calgary Flames in an NHL game at Scotiabank Arena on February 22, 2021 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. The Flames defeated the Maple Leafs 3-0. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Auston Matthews

Auston Matthews, Good Lord

Malfunctioning Horn Goes Off Every Minute, On The Minute, In Lightning–Red Wings

Avs Announcer Marc Moser Is A Land Of Contrasts

So We’re Doing This Islanders Thing Again, Huh?

Left: Tom Wilson working out. Right: Tom Wilson boarding Brandon Carlo

R.I.P. Tom Wilson The Himbo. Long Live Tom Wilson The Goon.

ST PAUL, MN - FEBRUARY 27: Head coach Darryl Sutter of the Los Angeles Kings looks on during the third period of the game against the Minnesota Wild on February 27, 2017 at Xcel Energy Center in St Paul, Minnesota. The Wild defeated the Kings 5-4 in overtime. (Photo by Hannah Foslien/Getty Images)

Darryl Sutter Is Back To Shovel Out Some More Shit

The Ottawa Senators Have Drop-Kicked Yet Another Adversary Straight Into Hell

Brady Tkachuk #7 of the Ottawa Senators takes down Artturi Lehkonen #62 of the Montreal Canadiens

Even In Defeat, The Ottawa Senators’ Rampage Continues

David Rittich of the Calgary Flames allows a goal

The Flames’ Nerves Have Been Shattered By The Superior Mental Strength Of The Ottawa Senators

The Ottawa Senators Are Ruining Lives