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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko.bsky.social
English Premier League
Liverpool Beats Fulham Via Half A Mile Of Sick Goals
By
Albert Burneko
December 3, 2023
61
Comments
Capital
Looking Good, Elon! Feeling Good, Trashcan Man!
By
Albert Burneko
December 1, 2023
738
Comments
The Machines
Here’s $75, Give Me One Frosty Tesla Cyberbeer Please GZZT MZZZZT ZZZZZTT ERROR ERROR FATAL ERROR
By
Albert Burneko
November 16, 2023
370
Comments
Life Lessons
Life Comes At You Fast
By
Albert Burneko
November 12, 2023
216
Comments
Soccer
More Like Erik Two Hag
By
Albert Burneko
November 9, 2023
86
Comments
The Machines
When Blindness Hits A Hundred Bucks A Share, Then Who Will Be Laughing, I Ask You, “Doctor”
By
Albert Burneko
November 6, 2023
384
Comments
NBA
James Harden Traded To Los Angeles Clippers After All
By
Albert Burneko
October 31, 2023
149
Comments
NBA
All Anyone Could Ever Hope To Know Or Learn About The 2023–24 NBA Season, Or Indeed About Anything, And Well In Advance Too
By
Albert Burneko
,
Chris Thompson
,
David Roth
,
Giri Nathan
,
Justin Ellis
,
Luis Paez-Pumar
,
Maitreyi Anantharaman
,
Patrick Redford
,
Ray Ratto
, and
Tom Ley
October 24, 2023
158
Comments
MLB
Never Make Zac Gallen Face Kyle Schwarber And Bryce Harper In The Same Inning Ever Again
By
Albert Burneko
October 22, 2023
68
Comments
MLB
More Like Min Scherzer
By
Albert Burneko
October 19, 2023
134
Comments
Jamboroo
High School Sports Are Out Of Frickin’ Control
By
Albert Burneko
October 5, 2023
562
Comments
Media Meltdowns
Wow, You Can’t Even Pound A Quart Of Whiskey At The Airport For Less Than $60 Anymore
By
Albert Burneko
September 21, 2023
485
Comments
Soccer
Luis Rubiales Finally, Belatedly Resigns
By
Albert Burneko
September 11, 2023
147
Comments
Soccer
Spain Dumps Women’s Team Coach Jorge Vilda, At Long Last
By
Albert Burneko
September 5, 2023
87
Comments
Soccer
Ansu Fati In Brighton Should Be Lots Of Fun
By
Albert Burneko
September 3, 2023
32
Comments
Soccer
Luis Rubiales Shows The Whole World Spain’s Entire Ass
By
Albert Burneko
August 25, 2023
236
Comments
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With João Félix?
By
Albert Burneko
August 23, 2023
71
Comments
Soccer
After All That, Kylian Mbappé Will Stay At Paris Saint-Germain
By
Albert Burneko
August 13, 2023
56
Comments
MLB
The San Francisco Giants And Cable TV Conspired To Prevent This Blog, But Failed
By
Albert Burneko
August 10, 2023
134
Comments
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With Ousmane Dembélé?
By
Albert Burneko
August 8, 2023
51
Comments
Arts And Culture
Paul Reubens Did Everything Funny
By
Albert Burneko
July 31, 2023
242
Comments
Soccer
What The Hell Is Going On With Kylian Mbappé?
By
Albert Burneko
July 26, 2023
140
Comments
Soccer
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Being A Butt Again
By
Albert Burneko
July 18, 2023
192
Comments
Soccer
Italy’s Getting There, Slowly, Maybe
By
Albert Burneko
July 14, 2023
36
Comments
NBA
Catch The Victor Wembanyama Show
By
Albert Burneko
July 10, 2023
119
Comments
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