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Albert Burneko
Assignment Editor
albert.burneko@defector.com
@albertburneko.bsky.social
Politics
As Best We Can Tell, Kristi Noem Is Now A Green Lantern Or Some Shit
By
Albert Burneko
March 5, 2026
434
Comments
Olympics
The Super Bowl Could Not Compete With Tape-Delayed Olympic Curling
By
Albert Burneko
February 9, 2026
72
Comments
Politics
Federal Agents Kill Again; Gunmen Still At Large
By
Albert Burneko
January 25, 2026
533
Comments
Politics
Gavin Newsom Has Nothing To Offer
By
Albert Burneko
January 22, 2026
607
Comments
Journalismism
CBS News Is The Trump Administration’s New Laundromat
By
Albert Burneko
January 15, 2026
206
Comments
Politics
How Hard Is It To Oppose Murder?
By
Albert Burneko
January 8, 2026
445
Comments
Politics
ICE Agent Kills Woman, DHS Tells Obvious, Insane Lies About It
By
Albert Burneko
January 7, 2026
649
Comments
The Machines
Who’s Responsible For Elon Musk’s Idiot Chatbot Producing On-Demand Child Sexual Abuse Material?
By
Albert Burneko
January 2, 2026
182
Comments
Funbag
Advertisers Mustn’t Besmirch The Sacred Seasonal Shopping Demon
By
Albert Burneko
December 23, 2025
457
Comments
Journalismism
Who Can Imagine Why Anyone Would Want To Cut This Lovely Mom Out Of Her Life?
By
Albert Burneko
December 17, 2025
398
Comments
Animals
Beware The Jingler
By
Albert Burneko
November 20, 2025
278
Comments
Chefector
The Key To Making A Bad Lasagna Is Being A Big Dumb Jerk
By
Albert Burneko
November 16, 2025
161
Comments
Gambling
Everybody Stand Down: New Yorker Columnist’s Child Doesn’t Care About Sports Gambling
By
Albert Burneko
November 11, 2025
354
Comments
Politics
Dick Cheney Departs The World He Made
By
Albert Burneko
November 4, 2025
370
Comments
Politics
Get A Job, Asshole
By
Albert Burneko
October 26, 2025
270
Comments
Politics
What Can’t The President Do?
By
Albert Burneko
October 24, 2025
371
Comments
NBA
Harken Ye Unto The 2025–26 NBA Season Preview, Which Stands Before You
By
Albert Burneko
,
Giri Nathan
,
Israel Daramola
,
Maitreyi Anantharaman
,
Patrick Redford
,
Ray Ratto
, and
Tom Ley
October 21, 2025
161
Comments
MLB
Uh-Oh, Somebody Notified Vladimir Guerrero Jr. That The ALCS Was Happening
By
Albert Burneko
October 16, 2025
129
Comments
The Machines
Soon ChatGPT Will Be Able To Botch Math Problems And Encourage Self-Harm… In A Sexy Way
By
Albert Burneko
October 15, 2025
294
Comments
Journalismism
Breaking: Some Guy Now Aware Of Most Revered Country Artist Who Ever Lived
By
Albert Burneko
October 10, 2025
540
Comments
Life Lessons
Now Let Us Survey Our Summer’s Gardening Bounty
By
Kelsey McKinney
and
Albert Burneko
September 28, 2025
93
Comments
This Is So Stupid
Donald Trump Posts Fake Video Of Himself Promoting Fake Medical Technology In Fake News Segment
By
Albert Burneko
September 28, 2025
250
Comments
This Is So Stupid
Nice Hat, Melania
By
Albert Burneko
September 17, 2025
404
Comments
Politics
Setting Aside The Incorrect Claim About Herd Immunity
By
Albert Burneko
September 4, 2025
226
Comments
The Machines
Butlerian Jihad Now
By
Albert Burneko
August 27, 2025
254
Comments
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