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Albert Burneko

Assignment Editor

Elder Wisdom

Bring Back Weird Halloween Candies

November 1, 2024
English Premier League

More Like Erik Done Hag

October 28, 2024
NBA

Victor Wembanyama’s Hands Missed Opening Night

October 25, 2024
NBA

A Preview Of The 2024-25 NBA Season, Accurately Enumerating Everything That Will Happen In It

Elder Wisdom

Point/Counterpoint: Friday Night Playoff Games

Elder Wisdom

When The Toilet Rings, You Must Answer The Call

September 24, 2024
Science

Neither Elon Musk Nor Anybody Else Will Ever Colonize Mars

September 11, 2024
Science

Boeing Starliner Astronauts Electively Spending Five More Months In Space To Hitch Ride In Different Vehicle Due To Preference For Not Dying

August 26, 2024
Soccer

Deadbeat Club At War With Its Own Players, Again

August 19, 2024
Defector At The Movies

‘Alien: Romulus’ Is Exhausting, Gross As Hell, And Incredibly Fun

August 17, 2024
Soccer

And Now, A Timely And Exhaustive Preview Of The 2024-25 Premier League Season

This Is So Stupid

Do Not Say The Boeing Starliner Astronauts Are Stranded In Space, Which They Cannot Presently Return From Due To Problems With Their Spacecraft

August 1, 2024
Soccer

Barcelona’s Pursuit Of Nico Williams Is Yet Another Degrading Farce

July 29, 2024
Journalismism

Why Did The New York Times Delete A Notorious Fraudster’s Election Take?

Olympics

No, Canada!

The Great Outdoors

Another Garden Check!

This Is So Stupid

There Are Three Essential Lawyer Movies

This Is So Stupid

I Would Like To Put Lunchmeat On The Cybertruck

Arts And Culture

Appalling Errors In Vulture’s Ranked List Of Muppets Movies, Ranked

NBA

Behold The Defector NBA Finals Mega-Preview

The Great Outdoors

Garden Check!

Soccer

Xavi, Who Quit And Then Un-Quit And Then Was Maybe Gonna Get Fired, Is Now Fired

NBA

The Pacers Simply Ran Away

NBA

Thunder–Mavericks Deserved A Better Ending

The Machines

If Kevin Roose Was ChatGPT With A Spray-On Beard, Could Anyone Tell?

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