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Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JANUARY 15: Head coach Nick Sirianni of the Philadelphia Eagles looks on prior to the NFC Wild Card Playoffs against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on January 15, 2024 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Philadelphia Eagles

Lauren Theisen

Pete Alonso #20 of the New York Mets dives for a ball

The Mets Make It Hurt

Kelsey McKinney

Chappell Roan on stage in a blue outfit, her hair blowing behind her, with one arm outstretched, pointing.

Arts And Culture

Chappell Roan Confronts The Sickness Of Modern Fandom

Ray Ratto

Caleb Williams #18 of the Chicago Bears warms up prior to an NFL football game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Solider Field on August 17, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.

Caleb Williams Has More Than Defenses And Doubters To Worry About

Patrick Redford

LEICESTER, ENGLAND - AUGUST 19: Jamie Vardy of Leicester City indicates to the Tottenham fans how many times they've won the Premier Leagu as he is substituted off during the Premier League match between Leicester City FC and Tottenham Hotspur FC at The King Power Stadium on August 19, 2024 in Leicester, England. (Photo by Catherine Ivill - AMA/Getty Images)

Soccer

Old Man Jamie Vardy Is Back Scoring Goals And Chatting Shit

J.J. McCarthy #9 of the Minnesota Vikings dives with the ball for a first down during the pre-season game against Las Vegas Raiders in the second half at U.S. Bank Stadium on August 10, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. J.J. McCarthy’s season was cut short due to a knee injury in the preseason game.

Funbag

Bad Timing Can Make Any Injury Devastating

Miami Dolphins head coach Mike McDaniel enters the field prior to a preseason game against the Washington Commanders at Hard Rock Stadium on August 17, 2024 in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Rich Storry/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Miami Dolphins

Staff Writer
Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

Chris Thompson

Life's Rich Pageant

A Disney World Pervert’s Take On: Wrongful Death At A Themed Irish Pub

Hamilton Nolan is a journalist based in New York City. Subscribe to his work at <a href="https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://www.hamiltonnolan.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1687350200913000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0naFbUVOe-5ZgtPDtIM3gz">HamiltonNolan.com</a>.

Hamilton Nolan

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - AUGUST 19: Delegates from Florida chant "Lock him up," as Hillary Clinton talks about former President Donald Trump's criminal convictions during the first day of the Democratic National Convention at the United Center on August 19, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.

Politics

A Night With The Party Animals

A man looks at the oil painting "Beer Garden with A.K." (2009) by Nicole Eisenman

The Beauty Of The Ordinary Is There For The Painting

Barry Petchesky

RALEIGH, NC - NOVEMBER 26: Patrik Laine #29 of the Columbus Blue Jackets looks on during the warmups of the game against the Carolina Hurricanes at PNC Arena on November 26, 2023 in Raleigh, North Carolina. (Photo by Jaylynn Nash/Getty Images)*** Local Caption ***Patrik Laine

Bad Contracts Expose Bad Teams

Luis Paez-Pumar

Italian Sports Journalist, Fabrizio Romano, looks on with his phone prior to the Emirates FA Cup Final match between Manchester City and Manchester United at Wembley Stadium on May 25, 2024 in London, England.

Why Is Soccer’s Most Famous Scoopster Doing PR Work For Mason Greenwood?

Giri Nathan

Jannik Sinner of Italy shakes hands with Frances Tiafoe of the United States after beating him in the final of the Cincinnati Open

Tennis

Frances Tiafoe Samples The Air At The Top Of The Tour

Albert Burneko

Ilkay Gundogan and Vitor Roque of FC Barcelona during a training session before Barça's La Liga match against Valencia CF

Deadbeat Club At War With Its Own Players, Again

Canyon//SRAM Racing team's Polish rider Katarzyna Niewiadoma celebrates after crossing the finish line and winning the third edition of the Women's Tour de France cycling race, after the 8th and last stage of the Tour de France, a 149.9 km between Le Grand Bornand and the Alpe d'Huez, in south-eastern France, on August 18, 2024. (Photo by JULIEN DE ROSA / AFP)

Cycling

The Tour de France Femmes Ending Was As Dramatic As It Gets

Maitreyi Anantharaman

Head coach Becky Hammon of the Las Vegas Aces and Dearica Hamby #5 of the Los Angeles Sparks look on during the first half at Michelob ULTRA Arena on August 18, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

WNBA

Becky Hammon Says She Treated Dearica Hamby With “Over The Top Care”

Russell Wilson #3 of the Pittsburgh Steelers throws an incomplete pass as he is taken to the ground by Greg Rousseau #50 of the Buffalo Bills in the first quarter during the preseason game at Acrisure Stadium on August 17, 2024 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Pittsburgh Steelers

Oakland Athletics shortstop Max Schuemann (12) tags out San Francisco Giants outfielder Mike Yastrzemski (5) during an MLB game between the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics on August 18, 2024, at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in Oakland, CA.

Bay Area Rivalry Nobody Cared About Reaches Suitable End

Alex Sujong Laughlin

An old black and white photo of women looking around suspiciously

Under The Influence

In Snark Forums, Fans Are Haters And Haters Are Friends

Alec Bohm #28 of the Philadelphia Phillies catches a foul ball as he falls back into the stands in the ninth inning

My Terrible Son Alec Bohm Is All Grown Up

Travis Kelce #87 of the Kansas City Chiefs catches a pass against the San Francisco 49ers in overtime during Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Crosswords

The Crossword, Aug. 19: Quad Extensions

Tom Ley

Indiana Fever guard Caitlin Clark (22) drives past the Seattle Storm defenders and goes up with her layup for two in the second quarter of play during a WNBA game between the Seattle Storm and the Indiana Fever on August 18, 2024 at Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, IN.

The Fever Broke The Storm

Israel Daramola

Former NFL player and Colorado Buffalos head coach Deion Sanders looks on prior to a game between the Arlington Renegades and Birmingham Stallions at Choctaw Stadium on March 30, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

College Football

This Is A Make-Or-Break Year For Deion Sanders

Caleb Williams #18 of the Chicago Bears passes in the first half of a preseason game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Soldier Field on August 17, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.

Caleb Williams Made Some Throws

Jhon Duran of Aston Villa celebrates scoring his team's second goal with teammate Morgan Rogers during the Premier League match between West Ham United FC and Aston Villa FC at London Stadium on August 17, 2024 in London, England.