Yesterday Army played Navy in college football for the 127th time. For a long time this annual contest pitted two of the top teams in the country against each other, but you almost certainly don’t remember that unless you are in your 80s. The people watching from the student sections at the U.S. Military Academy and the United States Naval Academy certainly were not alive at a time when Army and Navy were competing for national titles.
The teams are midlevel Division I programs nowadays; the military academies’ height and weight rules put them at a disadvantage against teams that can, in comparison, field a defensive line of a monsters. But both teams have been somewhere between decent and actively good for a while now, and Navy was ranked No. 22 coming into Saturday’s game. Both teams run a gimmicky offense, a modernized triple-option in which most plays are runs. On Saturday, Army rushed 34 times and threw just 10; Navy ran it 52 times compared to 14 passes. A Blake Horvath TD pass to Eli Heidenreich in the fourth gave Navy the 17-16 win, in a game that was indeed kind of exciting despite all those runs.
But even when the game isn't any good, the midshipmen and cadets go absolutely wild, or at least as absolutely wild as you can get without violating some service academy code of conduct. They do not mind a game where the pass to run ratio is 24-to-86. Maybe they all just want to beat a rival; maybe they are just hard up for an excuse to go wild. I have not surveyed the students at the military academies, but it’s clear from their faces: They want to win. They are screaming. You can see at the top of this post. You can see it below. They are screaming so much.
Look how much fun everyone is having yelling!
Even Army coach Jeff Monken got in on the fun!
Don’t worry. Despite the loss, Army cadets were in good spirits.
They got to celebrate quite a bit during the game, in fact.
Navy won, though, which means their players got to yell and scream on the field!
Wonderful. Let’s see some more.
Wow. It seems like everyone was screaming at this game. I’m not sure I can find even one person who wasn’t––oh, wait, here's one:
C’mon! Perk up, big guy! You have so many opportunities to get your ass kissed at the Army/Navy game. A bunch of big guys—big, strong guys—are just waiting come up to you and tell you you’re the best president we’ve ever had, all Americans are in agreement, everything costs less, the world respects us like never before, you've ended 45 wars, all while cleaning up The Biden Mess. And then they will treat you like a toddler and give you a standing ovation for sitting in a chair properly. They will probably do it even if you sit in the chair all weird, which you probably will.
Hmm. I think I liked the photo of Donald Fuck with his mouth closed more. Let’s end with a palate cleanser.
I just wanted to share my observation about this photo: It looks you’re playing SimCity 2000.
Right? Maybe?
