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Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

METAIRIE, LOUISIANA - MAY 28: Jamaal Williams #21 of the New Orleans Saints attends the OTA Offseason Workout at the New Orleans Saints Practice facility on May 28, 2024 in Metairie, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New Orleans Saints

Ray Ratto

Owner and managing general partner Mark Davis of the Las Vegas Raiders looks on before his team play against the Los Angeles Chargers at Allegiant Stadium on December 14, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Las Vegas Raiders

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 12: Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton walks out of the tunnel prior to an NFL football game against the Kansas City Chiefs at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium on October 12, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Denver Broncos

EAGAN, MINNESOTA - AUGUST 02: Aaron Jones #33 interacts with Sam Darnold #14 of the Minnesota Vikings during training camp on August 02, 2024 in Eagan, Minnesota. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Minnesota Vikings

David Roth

A plaid Jacksonville Jaguars baseball cap available at Fanatics.com.

This Is So Stupid

I Found That Jaguars Hat You Like

FLORHAM PARK, NEW JERSEY - MAY 21: Aaron Rodgers #8 of the New York Jets speaks to the media during the New York Jets OTA Offseason Workout at Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on May 21, 2024 in Florham Park, New Jersey. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Jets

CANTON, OH - AUGUST 01: Chicago Bears QB Caleb Williams (18) stretches during warmups for a National Football League preseason game between the Chicago Bears and Houston Texans on August 1, 2024 at Tom Benson Hall of Fame Stadium in Canton, OH. (Photo by James Black/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Chicago Bears

FLOWERY BRANCH, GEORGIA - MAY 14: Quarterback Kirk Cousins #18 of the Atlanta Falcons speaks to the media during OTA offseason workouts at the Atlanta Falcons training facility on May 14, 2024 in Flowery Branch, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Atlanta Falcons

<div dir="ltr">
Mike Tanier has covered the NFL for 20 years for Football Outsiders, the New York Times, The Messenger, Bleacher Report, Sports on Earth, and other ancient empires. He&#8217;s a co-author of Aaron Schatz&#8217;s FTN Football Almanac and the author of the Y/A novel for grownups Long Snapper&#8217;s Blues. He lives off Exit 3 of the New Jersey Turnpike with his long-suffering wife, two sons and a 70-pound American Bully named Frank the Tank. His newsletter, <a href="https://too-deep-zone.ghost.io/">Too Deep Zone</a>, has officially launched.
</div>

Mike Tanier

Will Levis #8 of the Tennessee Titans signs autographs before the game against the Jacksonville Jaguars in Nashville, Tennessee at Nissan Stadium on January 7, 2024 in Houston, Texas. The Titans defeated the Jaguars 28-20.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Tennessee Titans

EAST RUTHERFORD, NEW JERSEY - JUNE 06: (L-R) Daniel Jones #8 and head coach Brian Daboll of the New York Giants during New York Giants OTA Offseason Workouts at NY Giants Quest Diagnostics Training Center on June 06, 2024 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. (Photo by Luke Hales/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Giants

COSTA MESA, CALIFORNIA - JUNE 13: Jim Harbaugh of the Los Angeles Chargers at the podium before an NFL football practice at Hoag Performance Center on June 13, 2024 in Costa Mesa, California. (Photo by Ric Tapia/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Los Angeles Chargers

Sideline reporter Pam Oliver interviews head coach Mike Vrabel of the Tennessee Titans at halftime against the San Francisco 49ers at Nissan Stadium on December 23, 2021 in Nashville, Tennessee.

The Scourge Of In-Game Coach Interviews Spreads To The NFL

Owner Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots reacts before Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefsat Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New England Patriots

Washington Commanders offensive coordinator Kliff Kingsbury during mini camp at Commanders Park in Ashburn, VA on June 12, 2024. (Photo by John McDonnell/ for The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Washington Commanders

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA - JANUARY 07: Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper walks the field before the game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Bank of America Stadium on January 07, 2024 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Carolina Panthers

DETROIT, MI - APRIL 25: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell walks out on the stage during day 1 of the NFL Draft on April 25, 2024 at Fox Theatre in Detroit, MI. (Photo by John Smolek/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

The 18-Game NFL Season Already Feels Inevitable

Alex Sujong Laughlin

a group of Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders practice outside

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: It’s Time To Unionize

Barry Petchesky

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - JUNE 29: New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers looks on during the UFC 303 event at T-Mobile Arena on June 29, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Chris Unger/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

The Jets Are Desperate Enough To Enable Aaron Rodgers

Samer Kalaf

Bill Belichick at a press conference for the Patriots.

Life's Rich Pageant

Each New Detail About How Bill Belichick Met His Girlfriend Is The Opposite Of Romantic

<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/christopher-kelly-180886217/">Christopher “Kit” Kelly</a> is a professor of criminal justice at Saint Joseph’s University in Philadelphia.

Kit Kelly

<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ray-spraggins-49638227b/">Ray Spraggins</a> graduated in 2024 from Saint Joseph’s University with a Bachelor of Science degree in criminal justice.

Ray Spraggins

Lady Justice, wearing an Eagles helmet and weighing a football and some alcohol.

Eagles Court Could Only Have Existed In Philadelphia

Israel Daramola

Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes (C L) hugs teammate tight end Travis Kelce (C) as they celebrate with teammates during the Chiefs' Super Bowl LVIII victory parade on February 14, 2024, in Kansas City, Missouri.

Make The Chiefs The Official Team Of The Culture War

Patrick Redford

DETROIT, MICHIGAN - APRIL 25: Marvin Harrison Jr. celebrates after being selected fourth overall by the Arizona Cardinals during the first round of the 2024 NFL Draft at Campus Martius Park and Hart Plaza on April 25, 2024 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Marvin Harrison Jr. Sued By Fanatics For Breaching Contract, Speaking To Pat McAfee

Harrison Butker wearing a knit cap and a cowl while warming up on the field in cold temperatures before the Chiefs' January 13, 2024 Wild Card game.

Harrison Butker Overestimates His Range

Harrison Butker delivers commencement speech at Benedictine College