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Better Hate An Owner

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Staff Writer
Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

Chris Thompson

Whew! A-Rod’s Ownership Team Finally Secured Someone Else’s Money To Buy The Timberwolves

Giri Nathan

Anthony Edwards Is The Master Of Mutually Assured Destruction

Albert Burneko

LeBron James #23 of the Los Angeles Lakers looks on during a timeout as officials attempt to fix the shot clock during the second half of a game against the Golden State Warriors at Crypto.com Arena on March 16, 2024 in Los Angeles, California.

Hey, Does Anybody Know If The Warriors-Lakers Game Is Over Yet?

Dave McKenna

Gilbert Arenas #0 of the Washington Wizards stands on the court during the game against the Los Angeles Clippers at Staples Center on March 25, 2004 in Los Angeles, California.

Miserable Wizards Conjure The Ghost Of Agent Zero

Ray Ratto

CP3 Hands Out A CPT

Israel Daramola

Minnesota Timberwolves player Rudy Gobert reacts to a ref giving him a technical foul during a game against the Cleveland Cavaliers on March 8.

What If Rudy Gobert Wasn’t Wrong, Just Early?

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MARCH 10: Donte DiVincenzo #0 of the New York Knicks grabs Kelly Oubre Jr. #9 of the Philadelphia 76ers starting an altercation during the second half at Madison Square Garden on March 10, 2024 in New York City. The 76ers won 79-73. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)

The Knicks Are Bringing Back The ’90s

Anthony Edwards blocks a shot spectacularly

Anthony Edwards Did Not Expect To Jump That High

Katie Britt is not actually Sen. Katie Britt of Alabama.

Katie Britt

Sen. Katie Britt of Alabama, delivering her floridly bizarre response to the State of the Union speech on Fox News on Thursday, Mar. 7 2024

This Is So Stupid

The Nets, Of The Great State Of Brooklyn, Have Lost, I Fear, For The Children! Of America. To The Detroit Pistons—Of. This. Great. Na. Tion. Tonight. Last Night.

Tom Ley

Nikola Jokic #15 high fives Aaron Gordon #50 of the Denver Nuggets after the game against the Los Angeles Lakers on February 8, 2024 NBAE at Crypto.Com Arena in Los Angeles, California.

Nikola Jokic And Aaron Gordon Are In Space

Ted Leonsis’s Suburban Arena Scam Is Nearly Kaput

Ben Simmons Is Back In Hell

Luis Paez-Pumar

Jordan Poole #13 of the Washington Wizards drives to the basket against Immanuel Quickley #5 of the New York Knicks in the second half during an NBA In-Season Tournament game at Capital One Arena on November 17, 2023 in Washington, DC. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Jordan Poole Falls, Declines To Take The Greatest Shot Of His Career

Patrick Redford

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA - MARCH 04: Malik Monk #0 of the Sacramento Kings passes the ball around Alex Caruso #6 and Jevon Carter #5 of the Chicago Bulls in the second half at Golden 1 Center on March 04, 2024 in Sacramento, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

We Tracked A Night’s Worth Of NBA Assists, And Many Of Them Are Baloney

Boston Celtics center Al Horford (second from left) and the bench react to a slam dunk by Boston Celtics guard Svi Mykhailiuk (not pictured) in the fourth quarter. The Celtics beat the Golden State Warriors, 140-88.

The Celtics Served The Warriors A Beating, And The NBA A Message

Nikola Jokic #15 of the Denver Nuggets shoots the ball during the game against the Los Angeles Lakers on March 2, 2024 at Crypto.Com Arena in Los Angeles, California.

The Nuggets Own The Lakers

Victor Wembanyama shoots a basketball over Chet Holmgren

We Are Hurtling Toward The Age Of Wembanyama

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 28: LeBron James #23 of the Los Angeles Lakers after a116-112 win against the LA Clippers at Crypto.com Arena on February 28, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

LeBron James Might Just Keep Doing This Forever

Life's Rich Pageant

What Do You Type Into YouTube?

Teammates fling water onto Max Strus following his game-winner.

You Need Someone To Huck It On Up There

Even Canadian Pizza Can Be Its Own Reward

Cade Cunningham, Jaden Ivey and other members of the Detroit Pistons look onto the court from the bench during a game against the Toronto Raptors

Searching For Dignity In A Dumpster Fight Between The Pistons And The Wizards

LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 16: LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer yells while the Oklahoma City Thunder shoots free-throws during a NBA basketball game on January 16, 2024 at Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by John McCoy/Icon Sportswire)

Steve Ballmer Hopes New Uniforms And Logos Can Change The Fundamental Clipperness Of The Whole Situation

LeBron James #23 of the Los Angeles Lakers speaks to the referee against the Orlando Magic during the second half at Amway Center on November 04, 2023 in Orlando, Florida.

If A Ninth-Place Team Complains About Officiating, Does It Make Any Sound At All?

Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr reacts to a play while standing on the sidelines as guard Stephen Curry watches in the foreground during a game against the Chicago Bulls on January 12, 2024.

Golden State Secures Steve Kerr For The End Of The Curry Era