CULTURE

Footer Column 2

Footer Legal

Footer Main

Nav Bar

OTHER

SPORTS

Subscribe, at any level, to play

Thanks for your interest in Defector Crosswords!

Become a subscriber today to get unlimited access

Thanks for reading!

Plans start at $8/month.

Subscribers enjoy unlimited, ad-free browsing.

Register to continue

Or click here to subscribe for unlimited, ad-free access!

Our gift to you: This year's post is unlocked. Register your email to get even more free articles.

Welcome to the 2025 Hater's Guide!

Just register your email:

This blog is free to read.

This is Defector, a new sports blog and media company. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together. Without access, without favor, without discretion, and without interference.

Defector

Nicholas Russell is a writer from Las Vegas.

Nicholas Russell

Chief Technology Officer of X Elon Musk speaks onstage during the "Exploring the New Frontiers of Innovation: Mark Read in Conversation with Elon Musk" session at the Lumiere Theatre during the Cannes Lions International Festival Of Creativity 2024 - Day Three on June 19, 2024 in Cannes, France.

Politics

Elon Musk Keeps Digging In

Albert Burneko

A Tesla Cybertruck parked on the street in New York.

This Is So Stupid

I Would Like To Put Lunchmeat On The Cybertruck

Heather Chen is a former Defector intern and the managing editor at the Columbia Daily Spectator. She loves hockey, photography, and the good ol’ state of Michigan.

Heather Wei-Xi Chen

Elon Musk, with blue bar stating "Your likes are private. Only you can see them." over his eyes

The Machines

Please Let Me See Your Twitter Likes

David Roth

A Tesla Cybertruck electric vehicle sits parked next to a garbage truck in Los Angeles.

Life's Rich Pageant

Have You Seen A Cybertruck Yet?

Patrick Redford

A man looks at a Tesla Cybertruck parked near the SpaceX Starship as it stands on the launch pad ahead of its third flight test from Starbase in Boca Chica, Texas on March 12, 2024. Elon Musk's SpaceX announced it was eyeing March 14 as the earliest date for the next test launch of its giant Starship rocket, with which it hopes to one day colonize Mars. Two previous attempts have ended in spectacular explosions, though the company has adopted a rapid trial-and-error approach in order to accelerate development. (Photo by CHANDAN KHANNA / AFP)

Capital

Cybertruck Deliveries Halted Due To Car Being A Big Piece Of Shit That Doesn’t Work

A guest wears new Apple Vision Pro outside Bora Aksu during London Fashion Week February 2024 on February 16, 2024 in London, England.

Podcasts

The Future Doesn’t Work, With Ed Zitron

GRUENHEIDE, GERMANY - MARCH 22: Tesla CEO Elon Musk attends the official opening of the new Tesla electric car manufacturing plant on March 22, 2022 near Gruenheide, Germany. The new plant, officially called the Gigafactory Berlin-Brandenburg, is producing the Model Y as well as electric car batteries. (Photo by Christian Marquardt - Pool/Getty Images)

You’re Supposed To Be Glad Your Tesla Is A Brittle Heap Of Junk

13 August 2021, Brandenburg, Grünheide: Elon Musk, Tesla CEO, stands at a press event on the grounds of the Tesla Gigafactory. The first vehicles are to roll off the production line in Grünheide near Berlin from the end of 2021. The US company plans to build around 500,000 units of the compact Model 3 and Model Y series here each year. Photo: Patrick Pleul/dpa-Zentralbild/ZB (Photo by Patrick Pleul/picture alliance via Getty Images)

Elon Musk Is Grimly Determined To Let You Know He Is Funny

Elon Musk wearing a black leather jacket with a shearling collar to a stage interview with Andrew Ross Sorkin, lol.

Looking Good, Elon! Feeling Good, Trashcan Man!

A goofy-looking robot bartender on a cruise ship, with a rack of various liquors behind it.

Here’s $75, Give Me One Frosty Tesla Cyberbeer Please GZZT MZZZZT ZZZZZTT ERROR ERROR FATAL ERROR

James Robins is an award-winning critic and historian. His work has appeared in the New Republic, Vulture, and the TLS, and he writes the newsletter <a href="https://thedreadnought.substack.com/">The Dreadnought</a>. He lives in London.

James Robins

Walter Isaacson (right) and Elon Musk (left) speak onstage at the Vanity Fair New Establishment Summit back in 2014, long before Isaacson wrote a big biography of Musk.

Arts And Culture

Not Even The Patron Stooge Of Fawning Biographies Can Make Elon Musk Look Good

Colorado head coach Deion Sanders congratulates his son Shadeur during Colorado's win against Colorado State on September 16, 2023.

The Coach Prime Discourse Is Decadent And Depraved

Linda Yaccarino (Photo by Isaac Brekken/Variety/Penske Media via Getty Images)

Linda Yaccarino Is The Last Funny Twitter Bit Left

Warner Bros. Discovery chief David Zaslav attends the premiere of The Flash in Hollywood.

They Don’t Want Us And We Don’t Need Them

Barry Petchesky

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - OCTOBER 01: in their women's strawweight fight during the UFC Fight Night event at UFC Apex on October 1, 2022 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC)

Mark Zuckerberg, I Will Give You Five American Dollars If You Choke Out Elon Musk

Elon Musk and his mom doing some uncanny shit in costume at Heidi Klum's Halloween party.

Burning Down The House

Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

TOPSHOT - This video grab taken from a video posted on the Twitter account of billionaire Tesla chief Elon Musk on October 26, 2022 shows himself carrying a sink as he enters the Twitter headquarters in San Francisco. Elon Musk changed his Twitter profile to "Chief Twit" and posted video of himself walking into the social network's California headquarters carrying a sink, days before his contentious takeover of the company must be finalized.

Call These People By Their Proper Name: Fucking Dorks

Elon Musk and the Cybertruck, in front of a digital readout bragging about the caliber of gunfire it can withstand for some reason.

Get A Load Of This Sorry Piece Of Crap

Elon Musk makes a weird face next to a Tesla car

How Not To Interrogate The Ethics Of Tesla’s Busted Autopilot Technology

Alan Hanson is a writer from California. He writes creative nonfiction, essays, and poetry. He’s worked in advertising for over a decade because he likes to eat. Follow him at <a href="https://twitter.com/iluvbutts247" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">@iluvbutts247</a> unless of course he gets suspiciously suspended.

Alan Hanson

This screen grab shows the Twitter account of billionaire Tesla chief Elon Musk on October 27, 2022.

Stories

I Was Almost Elon Musk’s Twitter Voice

Elon Musk wearing his stupid Halloween costume.

The Eternal Mystery Of A Rich Man’s Politics

Tom Ley

Journalismism

What Are The Twitter Files, And Do You Need To Care About Them?

What The Boring Company Does

Twitter CEO Elon Musk carries a sink into Twitter headquarters as part of a typically epic jape.

Everything Is Silicon Valley Now

Samer Kalaf

Elon Musk's Twitter account displayed on a laptop screen is seen in this illustration photo taken in Krakow, Poland on November 1, 2022. (Photo by Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)