Hockey season has begun, and all teams are equal in the eyes of the creator. Hope springs triumphant for 32 collectives each striving as one, and the Stanley Cup lies shining before them, ready to be seized.
In rebuttal, there's this, from The Athletic's Kevin Kurz:
Here's what I'd do if I was running the team -- allow fans to trade in those orange t-shirts for tickets to another home game. That was as embarrassing an effort as I've ever seen in this building. It's not a reach to say they just gave up in the third, either. Total disaster.
— Kevin Kurz (@KKurzNHL) October 1, 2026
Yes, Game 1 has happened, and it happened most violently of all to the Philadelphia Flyers, who dropped their opener at home against the Pittsburgh Penguins by the score of 7-0. It was the sort of effort that induces local sportswriters to urge the team to allow its fans to return free clothing, albeit in exchange for the questionably appealing opportunity to see the team play again. It was the worst opening-night loss in Flyers history and just the fifth home opener loss by seven goals or more in the league's long history.
But wait, there's less. After being outshot 38-19 and outchanced in high danger situations 18-4, the Flyers had gone from the excitement of a new season and those "Here For The Rise" t-shirts to full-blown booing and recrimination in just two hours. This is known as the Full McQuade.
And while it is only Game 1 of 84, the reviews are already in, and the critics hated it.
“We honestly didn’t win a battle,” coach Rick Tocchet said. “We had a lot of, I hate to say it, snowblowers."
And:
“Since I’ve been here, that’s the worst [defensive] zone play I’ve ever seen.”
And:
"They did everything better than us. There are alarming things out there. I don't know if guys are reading their press clippings, but it wasn't good."
In other words, the Flyers' best player was Alec Bohm, the enigmatic Phillies infielder whose 10th-inning home run prolonged that team's wild card series in an entirely different sport. With the town locked in on Game 3 of that series tonight and the Eagles coming off a brutal loss at Chicago and staring down a Sunday game at home against the Los Angeles Rams, the Flyers' next game at New Jersey will likely be greeted with a heady cocktail of disinterest and condemnation. Such is the Philly experience, but also it is the customary drink order for a team that has just lost like this. This is known as the Full McQuade With 1 1/2 Twists.
That is the joy of living in a town with multiple distractions—there's always something else to hate if you look hard enough. But the Flyers easily could have flown under the radar for a while without getting anyone's ire up, let alone their own coaches' and players', with even a slightly less embarrassing effort. They are young, impressionable, and as general manager Danny Briere told ESPN's Greg Wyshynski, "We expect it to be harder. For me, it's exciting, because we're at a time now where you want to see how your guys handle the hard. We're not going to creep up on anyone this year."
Well, they certainly didn't creep up on Pittsburgh, we'll give them that.
Being young and impressionable matters only in relation to the first impression you make, and losing by a touchdown and point-after in the home opener is a great way to blow 83 other games to smithereens before you know it.
Not that you're required to care here, mind you. We surely don't. We just notice that when your coach rips your effort and competitive spirit after one night, strangers will take notice. Getting beat is a thing that happens roughly half the time, give or take the odd point-shaving scandal. Getting beat handily enough to be offered precisely zero excuses or halfhearted calming platitudes by the guy who gets paid to make platitudinous excuses for you in times like these is, well, noteworthy. As in, "Game 1? Really?"
As for returning the shirts in exchange for free tickets later, the Flyers have not yet shown interest in the deal. They have more important things to do, like rooting for the Phillies with all their might to provide some cover. A win and another series, this one against the designated evil empire that is the Los Angeles Dodgers, would extend their baseballing cousins' ability to obscure the Flyers' apparent growing pains just a little while longer. And maybe the Eagles get back to their more elevated mode of play, or just fire a coordinator. Or maybe the town remembers that LeBron James opens his new store in three weeks. Or maybe, best of all, the story of the guy who ordered a cheesesteak from Pat's, then threw said cheesesteak at the owner and ran away, carries through the month as the whodunit for the holiday season. This is known as the Full McQuade With A Closing Quad Toe Loop.
But there's always room for public annoyance, and it's comforting to know that not even Alec Bohm or rumblings of revolution at a cheesesteak counter can completely distract the town from being the town, or the fans from the Flyers, no matter how many free shirts they distribute.
