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Tom Ley

Christian Pulisic #10 of the United States yells at referee Kevin Ortega during the second half against Uruguay at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium on July 01, 2024 in Kansas City, Missouri.

A Noisy Loss Is Still Just A Loss

Luis Paez-Pumar

Jude Bellingham of England, scores his team's first goal with a acrobatic kick during the UEFA EURO 2024 round of 16 match between England and Slovakia at Arena AufSchalke on June 30, 2024 in Gelsenkirchen, Germany.

England Was Finally Exciting, Still Not Actually Good

Billy Haisley

USA's midfielder #15 Joao Lucas Cardoso and USA's goalkeeper #18 Ethan Horvath gesture after Panama's forward #17 Jose Fajardo scores his team's second goal during the Conmebol 2024 Copa America tournament group C football match between Panama and USA at Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia, on June 27, 2024.

The USMNT Has Outgrown Its Manager

Salomon Rondon of Venezuela celebrates with teammates after scoring the team's first goal during the CONMEBOL Copa America 2024 Group B match between Venezuela and Mexico at SoFi Stadium on June 26, 2024 in Inglewood, California.

Venezuela Is Making Some Noise

Belgium's Romelu Lukaku (M) in action against goalkeeper Anatolij Trubin (r) of Ukraine.

It Sucks How Much Belgium Sucks

England captain harry Kane reacts after a near miss as Jude Bellingham of England looks on during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between England and Slovenia at Cologne Stadium on June 25, 2024 in Cologne, Germany.

Never Show Group C To Me Again

Lasha Dvali of Georgia, Tomá Soucek of Czech Republic and goalkeeper Giorgi Mamardashvili of Georgia battle for the ball during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Georgia and Czechia at Volksparkstadion on June 22, 2024 in Hamburg, Germany.

At Euro 2024, The Good Comes From The Bad

Mattia Zaccagni of Italy celebrates scoring his team's first goal during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Croatia and Italy at Football Stadium Leipzig on June 24, 2024 in Leipzig, Germany.

Italy Climbed Out Of Its Grave And Shoved Croatia In

Patrick Redford

Lalas confusing and infuriating Daniel Sturridge

Love Him Or Hate Him, Alexi Lalas Stinks At His Job

A general view of pregame ceremonies before the CONMEBOL Copa America match between Argentina and Canada on June 20, 2024 at Mercedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta, Georgia.

A Comprehensive And Tastefully Belated Guide To The 2024 Copa América

Declan Rice of England shows dejection after a draw ing the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Denmark and England at Frankfurt Arena on June 20, 2024 in Frankfurt am Main, Germany.

This Can’t Be The Sum Of All Of England’s Parts

Turkey celebrates their side's victory in the UEFA Euro 2024 Group F match at the BVB Stadion Dortmund in Dortmund, Germany. Picture date: Tuesday June 18, 2024. (Photo by Nick Potts/PA Images via Getty Images)

Turkey-Georgia Was Perfect

Nicolae Stanciu of Romania scores his team's first goal past Andriy Lunin of Ukraine during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Romania and Ukraine at Munich Football Arena on June 17, 2024 in Munich, Germany.

These Are The Bangers Fox Is Hiding From You

Wout Weghorst of the Netherlands celebrates scoring his team's second goal with teammates during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Poland and Netherlands at Volksparkstadion on June 16, 2024 in Hamburg, Germany.

Just Give It To The Big Lad

Ray Ratto

Jude Bellingham of England celebrates after scoring his team's first goal during the UEFA EURO 2024 group stage match between Serbia and England at Arena AufSchalke on June 16, 2024 in Gelsenkirchen, Germany.

Nobody Does Dispiriting Wins Better Than England

Ronaldinho Gaúcho of União sends a kiss to his fans during Futebol Solidário match at Maracana Stadium on May 26, 2024 in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

Ronaldinho Blames It All On The Deodorant

Bukayo Saka of England reacts during the international friendly match between England and Iceland at Wembley Stadium on June 7, 2024 in London, England.

A Guide To The 2024 Euros With A Depth Of Analysis Surpassed Only By Its Timeliness

COMMERCE CITY, COLORADO - JUNE 01: Sam Coffey #17 and Lily Yohannes #6 of the United States enter the field for warmups prior to playing the Korea Republic at Dick's Sporting Goods Park on June 01, 2024 in Commerce City, Colorado. (Photo by Erin Chang/ISI Photos/USSF/Getty Images for USSF)

Lily Yohannes Is The Truth

Korbin Albert of the United States arrives at the field

USWNT Stars Past And Present Condemn Rising Star Korbin Albert’s Noxious Internet Habits

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<div>Abigail Segel is a contributing writer at Defector. She is also an editor for The IX Soccer and the Equalizer. Her work has been published in the Guardian and the Montreal Gazette.</div>
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Abigail Segel

Mallory Swanson poses with her arms in the air during a USWNT portrait studio session on February 13, 2024 in Los Angeles, California.

Mal Swanson Is Back! And So Are The Red Stars

Lyon's French midfielder #34 Mahamadou Diawara (C) leads the ball during the French L1 football match between Olympique Lyonnais (OL) and FC Lorient (FCL) at The Groupama Stadium in Decines-Charpieu, central-eastern France on October 8, 2023. (Photo by JEFF PACHOUD / AFP) (Photo by JEFF PACHOUD/AFP via Getty Images)

Mahamadou Diawara Leaves French Youth National Team Over Anti-Ramadan Rules

Lindsey Horan Headed The USWNT Into Its Next Era

CARSON, CALIFORNIA - FEBRUARY 26: Alex Morgan #7 of United States reacts after a goal by Mexico in the second half during Group A - 2024 Concacaf W Gold Cup match at Dignity Health Sports Park on February 26, 2024 in Carson, California. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Mexico Finally Killed Off The Old USWNT For Good

Damaris Egurrola of the Netherlands celebrates with teammates after scoring her teams third goal Romee Leuchter of the Netherlands during the UEFA Womens Nations League - League A Group 1 match between Netherlands Women and Belgium Women at Koning Willem II Stadion on December 5, 2023 in Tilburg, Netherlands

The Wildest Soccer Match Of The Week Was Between Two Teams That Didn’t Even Play Each Other

Matt Turner #1 of the United States talks with teammate Sergiño Dest #2 as he walks off the field after being red carded during the first half against Trinidad and Tobago at Hasely Crawford Stadium on November 20, 2023 in Port of Spain, Trinidad And Tobago.