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<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - DECEMBER 08: Sam Darnold #14 of the Minnesota Vikings warms up before the game against the Atlanta Falcons at U.S. Bank Stadium on December 08, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Sam Darnold Brought Me To Football Nirvana

Climate activists of Extinction Rebellion wearing masks of company CEOs including LVMH's Bernard Arnault (2nd L) Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg (C), Microsoft founder Bill Gates (2ndR) and Virgin Group founder Sir Richard Branson (R) take part in a demonstration in Berlin on April 13, 2023. (Photo by John MACDOUGALL / AFP)

The Price Of The American Dream Is Now $1 Billion

Alm Summer Livestock Herding Offers Relief To Stressed Urban Dwellers

Pass The Salt

I Am The Passenger Now

Nevada Las Vegas The Strip MGM Grand Hotel Casino slot machines neon lights interior gambling

Your Luck’s About To Change

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - NOVEMBER 03: Sam Darnold #14 of the Minnesota Vikings celebrates a touchdown against the Indianapolis Colts in the third quarter at U.S. Bank Stadium on November 03, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Vikings defeated the Colts 21-13.

My Big Boy Sam Darnold Is Big Fun

Head coach Sean Payton of the Denver Broncos stands on the sidelines during the national anthem prior to an NFL football game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on September 22, 2024 in Tampa, Florida.

Is Your Head Coach A Mayor?

Voiture 4x4 de marque Jeep Cherokee à Tignes, France.

Let’s Remember Our Cars

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones looks on before a game against the Baltimore Ravens at AT&amp;T Stadium on September 22, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

The 2024 NFL Season Is A Hater’s Paradise

A dirty empty plate, fork and knife on a wooden table. Used cutlery, symbolizing the end of lunch or dinner.

I Got My Fill

Ray Ratto

Head coach Doug Pederson of the Jacksonville Jaguars adjusts his headset prior to an NFL football game against the Buffalo Bills. He looks pretty goofy, and the JAMBORAY badge is imposed over the Jags logo on his shirt.

A Bet You’ll Always Lose

Father cooking on barbecue with wife and daughters

I Have Given My Sons The Gift Of Fire

Trevor Lawrence #16 of the Jacksonville Jaguars reacts during the second quarter against the Cleveland Browns at TrEver Bank Stadium on September 15, 2024 in Jacksonville, Florida.

Help, Help! All Of The Rich Quarterbacks Are Eating Shit!

Deshaun Watson #4 of the Cleveland Browns is tackled by Damone Clark #18 of the Dallas Cowboys during the second half at Cleveland Browns Stadium on September 08, 2024 in Cleveland, Ohio.

End This Farce

CLEVELAND - 1987: Defensive backs Hanford Dixon #29 and Frank Minnifield #31 of the Cleveland Browns draw plays in the dirt on the field before a game at Municipal Stadium circa 1987 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by George Gojkovich/Getty Images)

A Well-Executed Day

Minnesota Vikings fan dressed up in Viking costume at a National Football League game in the Humphrey Metrodome in Minneapolis, Minnesota. (Photo by LAYNE KENNEDY/Corbis via Getty Images)

I Am Ready To Become The Worst Kind Of Sports Cock

Group portrait of a company playing cards around a table, Frits L.J. Moormans (mentioned on object), Den Bosch, c. 1865 - c. 1880, photographic support, albumen print, height 74 mm × width 91 mm. (Photo by: Sepia Times/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)

I Am The Bullshit King Of My Household

BALTIMORE, MD - JANUARY 28: Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs walks out for warmups prior to the AFC Championship NFL football game against the Baltimore Ravens at M&amp;T Bank Stadium on January 28, 2024 in Baltimore, Maryland. (Photo by Perry Knotts/Getty Images)

Patrick Mahomes Owns The NFL

BENGHAZI, LIBYA - AUGUST 8,1943: A view as a soldier sits at the latrine at the U.S Air Force base in Benghazi, Libya. (Photo by Ivan Dmitri/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

“Who Took A Giant Shit In The Drug Test Toilet?!” Your Annual POOPOROO

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI - JANUARY 13: &lt;&gt; during the AFC Wild Card Playoffs at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium on January 13, 2024 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by David Eulitt/Getty Images)

All Right-Thinking Americans Agree: We’re Sick Of The Chiefs

That's what Paul Brown, new mentor of Ohio State University's buckeyes, probably is telling his charges as he outlines one of his pet plays. Brown was former grid coach at Massillon, Ohio, High School, Here his teams won national recognition. His Buckeyes play Missouri here on Sept. 27.

I Am The Coach Now

Quarterback Patrick Mahomes, left, along with running back Clyde Edwards-Helaire #25 of the Kansas City Chiefs and teammates react after defensive tackle Chris Jones (not pictured) of the Kansas City Chiefs reacts after sacking quarterback Easton Stick (not pictured) of the Los Angeles Chargers in the second half of a NFL football game at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood on Sunday, January 7, 2024.

This Postseason, Root For The Money

PASADENA, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 01: Blake Corum #2 of the Michigan Wolverines runs with the ball for yardage away from Terrion Arnold #3 and Kool-Aid McKinstry #1 of the Alabama Crimson Tide during second half of the CFP Semifinal Rose Bowl Game at Rose Bowl Stadium on January 01, 2024 in Pasadena, California. The Michigan Wolverines won the game 27-20 in overtime. (Photo by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images)

What Happens When Players Start Opting Out Of The College Football Playoff?

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<div>Victoria Zeller is a trans writer born and raised in Buffalo, New York, where she still proudly resides. Her debut novel, <i><a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/one-of-the-boys-victoria-zeller/21775251" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bookshop.org/p/books/one-of-the-boys-victoria-zeller/21775251&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1735306610555000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0sXpgNMmxpIwmIZOFd-Pnw">One of the Boys</a></i>, is out now. Her personal website can be found <a href="http://victoria.monster/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://victoria.monster&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1735306610555000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0PrZ7PkO1IykxAodWoMLI_">here</a>.</div>
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Victoria Zeller

Josh Allen #17 of the Buffalo Bills visits on set of the Amazon Prime TNF postgame show after an NFL football game between the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Buffalo Bills at Highmark Stadium on October 26, 2023 in Orchard Park, New York.

It’s All Worth It For 17

A mother marks her son's height on the door with a pencil, circa 1950. (Photo by FPG/Hulton Archive/Getty Images)