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Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including Point B. Handsomest man in the world.

Drew Magary

NEW YORK, USA, September 11: Carlos Alcaraz of Spain falls to the court at match point as he celebrates his victory against Casper Ruud of Norway in the Men's Singles Final match on Arthur Ashe Stadium during the US Open Tennis Championship 2022 at the USTA National Tennis Centre on September 11th 2022 in Flushing, Queens, New York City. (Photo by Tim Clayton/Corbis via Getty Images)

What Is The Most Physically Exhausting Sport?

TOPSHOT - Dave Barnes enjoys a holiday lunch with his wife Christy Barnes at an outdoor restaurant in Manhattan Beach, California where beaches are closed due to a spike in COVID-19 in Los Angeles County, on July 4, 2020, the US Independence Day holiday. - Beaches and indoor restaurant seating in Los Angeles County are closed to help fight the spread of the coronavirus pandemic. (Photo by Robyn Beck / AFP) (Photo by ROBYN BECK/AFP via Getty Images)

There Are No More Shitty Food Towns In America

Albert Burneko

We Must Protect Soccer From Grubby Rule-Mongers

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - JULY 08: Wilmer Flores #41 of the San Francisco Giants reacts to fouling a ball off his foot during the fouth inning of a game against the San Diego Padres at PETCO Park on July 08, 2022 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)

Does Wilmer Flores Have The Worst Walk-Up Music In Baseball?

Woman preparing pizza in kitchen, portrait

If You Don’t Sell Large Pizzas, Fuck You

A fully functioning solid gold toilet, made by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan, is going into public use at the Guggenheim Museum in New York on September 15, 2016. - A guard will be stationed outside the bathroom to protect the work, entitled 'America', which recalls Marcel Duchamp's famous work, 'Fountain'. (Photo by William EDWARDS / AFP) (Photo by WILLIAM EDWARDS/AFP via Getty Images)

Help! I Love To Shit In The Nude!

Kathryn Xu

How To Finish A Loaf Of Bread

Snoop Dogg may be one of the world's most famous entertainers, but SeaWorld San Diego's Clyde the Sea Lion wanted the rapper to know that he too can "Bring the Bling." Snoop Dogg, who was recently in San Diego for a concert, spent a few hours at the marine-life park interacting with several of the SeaWorld's animals and shared some center-stage time with Clyde at Sea Lion and Otter Stadium. Clyde said he'd be happy to collaborate with Snoop Dogg on one of his future hip-hop songs! Photo: Bob Couey - SeaWorld San Diego Contact: Bob Couey Visual Services Manager SeaWorld San Diego

Lightweight Activewear Is The Most Important Invention Of Our Lifetimes

It’s True: Your Parents Will Eventually Possess Your Body

COLMA, CA - FEBRUARY 1: A man wearing a hazardous materials suit walks through a decontamination shower during a weapons of mass destruction training workshop February 1, 2005 in Colma, California. Representatives from several San Mateo County police and fire departments took part in the one day training to prepare for a chemical or biological attack. (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

It’s Your Rays Week Funbag, Featuring An Email From A Ray

Cane toad Agathe sits on a toy balance during an inventory at the zoo in Hanover, central Germany, on January 5, 2011. All habitants of the zoo are to be counted, weighed and measured during the week long inventory. Agathe has a weight of 1850 grams. AFP PHOTO HOLGER HOLLEMANN GERMANY OUT (Photo credit should read HOLGER HOLLEMANN/DPA/AFP via Getty Images)

So It’s Come To This: My Life Counting Calories

I Know Exactly What Kind Of Professional Wrestler I Would Be

charismatic megafauna (they/them)

Sabrina Imbler

A tick is photographed in the laboratory of the INRA (Institut National de la Recherche Agronomique) which constitutes a "tiquothèque" to study its geographical distribution, the presence of disease, the development of the Lyme disease on September 28, 2018 in Champenoux, eastern France. - The laboratory appeals to the private individuals to collect the ticks having pricked them. (Photo by JEAN-CHRISTOPHE VERHAEGEN / AFP) (Photo by JEAN-CHRISTOPHE VERHAEGEN/AFP via Getty Images)

I Respect Ticks But I Still Want Them Dead

We Must Give The NBA Finals A Better Name

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 26: &lt;&gt; at 230 5th Ave on May 26, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images) (NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 26: &lt;&gt; at 230 5th Ave on May 26, 2022 in New York City. (Photo by B

‘Stranger Things 4’ Is A Masterpiece

Should Cars Have Another Horn In The Back? (No.)

Would You Eat Your Chocolate Hand?

LAS VEGAS - AUGUST 05: Fans react as Papa Roach performs at The Joint inside the Hard Rock Hotel &amp; Casino August 5, 2005 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The rock group is touring in support of the platinum-selling album "Getting Away With Murder." (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

We Don’t Need Concert Encores Anymore

MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE - MAY 01: Draymond Green #23 of the Golden State Warriors reacts after being ejected during Game One of the Western Conference Semifinals of the NBA Playoffs against the Memphis Grizzlies at FedExForum on May 01, 2022 in Memphis, Tennessee. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Justin Ford/Getty Images)

Oh God I Think I Love Draymond Green

What If A Baseball Game Literally Never Ended?

Members of the brotherhood of the Bessieres' giant Easter omelette prepare a giant omelette with thousands of eggs, on April 21, 2014 in Bessieres, southwestern France, as part of a traditional Easter celebration. AFP PHOTO / REMY GABALDA

Omelets? They’re—GASP!—Overrated

I’m Great At Falling Asleep Now

Justin Ellis

Is It Time To Reconsider Overalls For Adult Men?

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - DECEMBER 11: Mike Greenberg of ESPN looks on during a game between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Golden State Warriors at Wells Fargo Center on December 11, 2021 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)

Mike Greenberg Is The Smelliest Turd Left In The ESPN Punchbowl

MOBILE, ALABAMA - JANUARY 29: Scouts check their stopwatches after a participant ran the 40-yard dash during the 2022 NFL HBCU Combine at University of South Alabama Jaguar Training Center on January 29, 2022 in Mobile, Alabama. (Photo by Jonathan Bachman/Getty Images)