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This is Defector, a new sports blog and media company. We made this place together, we own it together, we run it together. Without access, without favor, without discretion, and without interference.

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<p>Staff Writer</p>
<p>Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19</p>


Chris Thompson

A shell-shocked Carlos Martinez hands the ball to manager Mike Shildt after registering just two outs.

Cardinals Pitcher Carlos Martinez Takes An All-Time Ass-Whupping

Stephen Strasburg looks bummed as he leaves the field following another injury.

More Like Stephen Hamburger

Devin Booker looks at Chris Haynes as Haynes asks his insanely stupid question.

Here Is A Super Incredibly Dumb Post-Game Question, Courtesy Of NBA Insider Chris Haynes

Chefector

Today’s Cocktail Is The Bloody Crusta

The Knicks Look Like Crud

MIAMI, FLORIDA - MAY 27: Giannis Antetokounmpo #34 of the Milwaukee Bucks drives to the basket against Jimmy Butler #22 of the Miami Heat during the third quarter in Game Three of the Eastern Conference first-round playoff series at American Airlines Arena on May 27, 2021 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

The Bucks Didn’t Conquer The Giannis Wall, And Didn’t Have To

Boston Celtics general manager Danny Ainge, in happier times.

Danny Ainge Puts A Foot In His Big Fat Mouth

Mike Shildt argues with Joe West while Giovanny Gallegos shows off the offending hat.

Cardinals Manager Mike Shildt Calls Bullshit On MLB’s Handling Of Foreign Substances

Patrick Beverley looks bummed after committing a foul.

Bask In The Delights Of Patrick Beverley’s Miserable Evening

Trae Young beats Frank Ntilikina for the deciding bucket.

A Timely Nudge And A Lost Shoe Helped Trae Young Author A Classic Finish

Today’s Cocktail Is The Bee Sting

A tardigrade looks pleadingly at the camera.

Science

Leave Tardigrades Alone!

Let’s Appreciate Some Randos Who Smushed The Hornets Flat As A Pancake

The Celtics and Pacers play basketball, poorly.

What Is This NBA Play-In Tournament? What Is It? Will Someone Please Tell Me What It Is?

Udonis Haslem gets into it with Dwight Howard of the 76ers.

Udonis Haslem Surfaced Just Long Enough To Give Dwight Howard The Business And Not A Minute Longer

Cole Beasley looks super intense and tough.

Cole Beasley, Moron, Ponders The Futility Of It All

A lake creature bobs to the surface of the lake at Quail Hollow Golf Course.

Do Not Fear To Behold The Majestic Lake Creature

Shams Charania gestures during an interview.

Confirmed: NBA Games To Take Place Somewhere Along The Spacetime Continuum

Kent Bazemore experiences a caffeine high.

Kent Bazemore, Under The Influence Of Buttered Joe, Vibrates His Way Into Trouble

Today’s Cocktail Is The Guy About Town

Senators Week

Could This Farting Bug With “Senator” In Its Scientific Name Release Me From This Waking Nightmare? An Investigation

Russell Westbrook, Ish Smith, and Bradley Beal celebrate during the Wizards' win over the Lakers.

The Unstoppable, Charming, Incredibly Telegenic Wizards Are Truly Basketball’s Feel-Good Story, No Matter What The Haters And Losers Say

Vlad Jr. waves to fans after his team beat the hell out of the Washington Nationals.

Vlad Jr. Did Some Primo Smashing

This Is So Stupid

Let’s Rate The Dismal Beef Of Right-Wing Internet Psychos Trying To Own Imaginary Libs

Trevor Bauer lies on the mound, tragically un-owned.