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Albert Burneko

Assignment Editor

NBA

Report: Victor Wembanyama Cleared To Play Game 4

April 26, 2026
Politics

Everyone Survives White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner

April 26, 2026
Politics

Pete Hegseth Adds New Weapon To American Warfighter Loadout: Influenza

April 22, 2026
Politics

President, Extremely Normal Brain-Wise: Pope Weak On Crime, Also I’m Dr. Jesus Christ

April 14, 2026
The Machines

Why Would You Ask AI To Tell The Story Of Your Own Life?

April 10, 2026
Politics

This Election Is Too Darn Important To Be Left To Merciful Salad Eaters

March 31, 2026
Politics

Trump To World: Please Help Me Un-Shoot My Own Leg Off

March 16, 2026
Politics

A List Of Better Ways To Experience The Frisson Of Transgression Than Becoming A Fascist

March 12, 2026
NBA

I Will Never Forgive Trae Young For Surpassing Kobe Bryant’s Career High For Assists In A Game Eight Times

March 11, 2026
Chefector

If Cool The Pan Be, A Lousy Breakfast For Thee

March 10, 2026
NBA

The Road To Magic City Monday Is Paved With Good Intentions

Politics

As Best We Can Tell, Kristi Noem Is Now A Green Lantern Or Some Shit

Olympics

The Super Bowl Could Not Compete With Tape-Delayed Olympic Curling

February 9, 2026
Politics

Federal Agents Kill Again; Gunmen Still At Large

January 25, 2026
Politics

Gavin Newsom Has Nothing To Offer

January 22, 2026
Journalismism

CBS News Is The Trump Administration’s New Laundromat

January 15, 2026
Politics

How Hard Is It To Oppose Murder?

January 8, 2026
Politics

ICE Agent Kills Woman, DHS Tells Obvious, Insane Lies About It

January 7, 2026
The Machines

Who’s Responsible For Elon Musk’s Idiot Chatbot Producing On-Demand Child Sexual Abuse Material?

January 2, 2026
Funbag

Advertisers Mustn’t Besmirch The Sacred Seasonal Shopping Demon

December 23, 2025
Journalismism

Who Can Imagine Why Anyone Would Want To Cut This Lovely Mom Out Of Her Life?

December 17, 2025
Animals

Beware The Jingler

November 20, 2025
Chefector

The Key To Making A Bad Lasagna Is Being A Big Dumb Jerk

November 16, 2025
Gambling

Everybody Stand Down: New Yorker Columnist’s Child Doesn’t Care About Sports Gambling

November 11, 2025
Politics

Dick Cheney Departs The World He Made

November 4, 2025
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