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Albert Burneko

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Life's Rich Pageant

Urban Meyer’s House Is Freaking Me Out, Man

September 17, 2021

Please Explain To Me What The Hell Aaron Boone Is Trying To Say About Derek Jeter

September 8, 2021

Enter Our Raffle To Win A Visit And Home-Cooked Meal From Drew Magary

In 2022, we sent Cardboard Roth and actual Roth to our raffle winner's home. This year, we're sending Drew over, and he's cooking up a feast. Anyone who makes a contribution of at least $20 into our tip jar by Nov. 24 will be entered into the raffle.

Let’s Bake Some Cornbread

September 4, 2021

Mark Davis’s House Is The World Capital Of Sadness

September 1, 2021

Ben Simmons, To Team Trying To Trade Him: Trade Me

August 31, 2021

Personally I Feel This Jack Wilshere Interview Summary Could Be Even More Brutal

August 26, 2021

This Is So Stupid

There Should Be A Game Show Where People Compete To Be A Game Show Host

August 23, 2021

Media Meltdowns

Someone, Please, Explain To Me What This Sentence Is Trying To Say

August 23, 2021

Let’s Cook Up A Nice Big Bowl Of Summer

August 21, 2021

This Is So Stupid

Only I Know Why Chris Palmer Thought It A Good Idea To Tweet That Vanessa Bryant Doesn’t Know This Stupid Factoid About Her Dead Husband, And I’ll Never Tell

August 13, 2021

Media Meltdowns

Either Wirecutter Or I Are Doing Toilet Brush Ownership EXTREMELY Wrong

August 12, 2021

A Big Pile Of Tomatoes Is A Salad If You Say It Is

August 7, 2021

A Complete List Of Players Who, Unlike Ben Simmons, Would Not Be Willing To Join The Golden State Warriors

August 5, 2021

What Kind Of Toilet Destruction Are We Talking About, Here?

August 4, 2021

This Stupid Basketball Cliche Impacts Puking Out My Fucking Breakfast

August 3, 2021

Let’s Fry Some Green Tomatoes

July 10, 2021

A Deep And Illuminating NBA Finals Preview For Basketball Morons

July 6, 2021

Overexplained Lists

Worst Places To Get A Sunburn, Ranked

July 4, 2021

Check Out The Drama At This Hip Cookware Company, And Then Confront The Sucking Void At The Heart Of The Global Economy

June 28, 2021

Smoke The Pork, Pull The Pork, And Put The Pork In A Sandwich

June 26, 2021

Basketball Is Played By People, Not Archetypes

June 21, 2021

Let’s Make Some Slaw

June 12, 2021

This Is So Stupid

Experts: Albert Burneko Is Handsome And It’s Cool To Just Give Him Money

June 10, 2021

It Is Not Yet Tomato Time, Blasphemers

June 7, 2021

Damian Lillard Can’t Get Away With Being Human

June 4, 2021