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Albert Burneko

Assignment Editor

MLB

I Want To See The Dang Throw!

MLB

No No-Hitter Ended Better Than Jordan Zimmermann’s

Senators Week

Stop Referring To The “Caning” Of Charles Sumner!

Chefector

Let’s Shuck And Eat Some Oysters

Science

Barkeep, A Glass Of Your Finest Chemolithotroph Peepee, If You Please

April 29, 2021
NBA

Let’s Check In On The Indiana Pacers, As Well As, For No Particular Reason, The Atlanta Hawks

April 27, 2021
Defector Up All Night

The Thing About Trying To Kill A Guy With A Kart Bumper Is It’s Against The Rules Of Kart Racing

April 20, 2021
Chefector

Let’s Cook Some Black Bean Soup

April 17, 2021
Media Meltdowns

Everyone Reading This Beat Writer’s Insanely Worded Tweet Understands It Completely. Or At Least Is Capable Of Understanding Written Language.

April 14, 2021
Media Meltdowns

Bill Simmons: Cancel Culture Prevented Jim Nantz From Making A Cheap Racist Quip About Hideki Matsuyama, And That’s A Shame

April 12, 2021
Science

To Truly Appreciate The Elon Musk Tunnel Footage, You Must Hear It Set To Music

Golf

Rory McIlroy Smote His Own Father With A Golf Shot

April 8, 2021
Sports Highlight Of The Day

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Japanese Baseball Team’s Fish Mascot Exploding Into Its New Form

Chefector

Let’s Fry Up Some Crispy Seafood

Journalismism

Won’t Somebody Protect Poor NBA Team Owners From Their Own Choice To Buy Out Shitty Veterans?

March 30, 2021
NBA

Here Is Your 2021 NBA Trade Deadline Roundup

March 25, 2021
NBA

Was Ben Simmons, In Fact, “Ready To Take Threes Now”? (No.)

March 24, 2021
NBA

Thunder Rookie Spends 20 Seconds In The Depths Of Slapstick Hell

March 23, 2021
Chefector

Let’s Make Lobster Rolls

March 20, 2021
Chefector

Does Your Region Have Its Own Pizza Style? (No.)

March 17, 2021
NBA

Here Are Some More Young NBA Players Who Are Butt

March 16, 2021
Overexplained Lists

My Pandemic Pursuits, Ranked

March 11, 2021
Animals

For Dot

The Great Outdoors

Volcano Cool

This Is So Stupid

Oh Wow, Look At That, John Wall Is Out Here Making History

March 1, 2021
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