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Defector Up All Night

The Thing About Trying To Kill A Guy With A Kart Bumper Is It’s Against The Rules Of Kart Racing

I guess I should say straight out that I have never raced a, a ... kart (?) of the sort in the below video. I've gone go-karting! The kind a few blocks back from the beach, where the track is bordered by stacks of tires and the karts go about 20 miles an hour. This seems as though it clearly is not the same type of deal. The guys in the below video are going, at an estimate, a thousand miles an hour; the only things I can do behind the wheel of a vehicle traveling as fast as these karts are 1) soil myself, and 2) die immediately and horribly and in many tiny pieces. So maybe it is not my place to rule on how the rules of ... karting ... should adjudicate the following absolutely insane act of violence by one Luca Corberi:

For this—for throwing a detached freaking bumper at the very exposed driver of a very tiny open-cockpit vehicle whizzing by at what appear to be far greater than freeway speeds, which Corberi did at the world championship of karting last October, and which I cannot imagine having ended in absolutely any way other than with at least one person being mangled into paste if the projectile had actually connected with its target on the fly—Corberi received a 15-year ban from racing today, handed down by the Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA), the governing body of the sport. That seems fine to me. Corberi was 23 last October, when this happened; between now and the end of the ban he'll have to just sorta move on with his life one way or another, so this probably amounts to ending his racing career, which seems super duper reasonable to me.

I just have one question. How is this not attempted murder?? There's no way that bumper wasn't gonna kill the guy he threw it at, if it had actually hit him! It was gonna tear his freaking head off! This dude's a dang psycho! I can't even watch this video. I'm gonna hurl.

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