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Albert Burneko

Assignment Editor

Science

No Points For Guessing That Elon Musk’s Miami Traffic Solution Is Dumber Than Shit

January 19, 2021
NBA

The James Harden Situation Is Coming To A Head Very Quickly [UPDATE: It Did]

January 13, 2021
This Is So Stupid

Do You Not See That The City Of The Future Must Be A Straight Line, You Oaf, You Absolute Doofus

January 12, 2021
This Is So Stupid

What Good Is A Sweet Buzzer-Beater If I Don’t Know The Shooter’s Systolic Blood Pressure?

January 7, 2021
NBA

A Timely Preview Of The 2020-21 NBA Season, Which I Feel Confident Is Not Underway Yet

December 23, 2020
NFL

The Washington Football Team’s Intra-Owner Fight Is Such A Disaster That All Of Them Are Going To Get Richer

December 20, 2020
NBA

Nature Is Healing: Grayson Allen Does Some Pointless, Self-Defeating Goon Shit In A Preseason Game, Again

December 20, 2020
Media Meltdowns

At Least Now You Know Which Video Game Reviewers Are Sellout Clowns

December 20, 2020
NBA

Report: James Harden Is Extremely Cool

December 16, 2020
Media Meltdowns

Who Can Guess What Jeffrey Toobin Did Wrong? (Not So Fast, Malcolm Gladwell)

December 15, 2020
Chefector

Let’s Make Some Butternut Squash Soup

December 12, 2020
NBA

James Harden Being A Prick Is Not An Existential Threat To The NBA

December 10, 2020
NBA

John Wall Deserved Better Than The Washington Wizards

December 3, 2020
Chefector

What I Cooked For Thanksgiving This Year

November 28, 2020
This Is So Stupid

Make Sports Trophies Cooler

November 24, 2020
Media Meltdowns

Bill Simmons Is Union-Busting

November 19, 2020
Chefector

Let’s Cook Shakshouka, The Perfect Short-Notice Food

November 14, 2020
Science

Virgin Hyperloop Has Invented The World’s Crappiest High-Speed Rail

November 11, 2020
Politics

These People Are Morons

November 9, 2020
Things We Actually Like

Let’s All Enjoy This Wholesome Video Of A Happy Dog Doing Stunts

November 4, 2020
Chefector

Let’s Cook Some Tomato Soup

October 31, 2020
MLB

It’s Not Justin Turner’s Fault

October 28, 2020
TV

Please Spend Ten Minutes Or Less Reading About The Death Of Quibi

October 22, 2020
Media Meltdowns

John Wall Update: Playing Spades, Paying Zero Attention During A Televised Interview

October 20, 2020
Chefector

Let’s Cook Some Green Chicken Chili, The Easy Kind

October 17, 2020
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