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Year In Review

What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?

10:21 AM EST on December 25, 2020

Look, I get it. I do. You're stuck inside. It's cold and dark outside. You're bored. That vaguely cylindrical object is calling to you. But resist! There are many things out there are specifically designed for you to self-insert. There are many, many more that aren't, yet still end up inside America's holes. This annual post honors the latter. Consider it a PSA, and reconsider that object; aren't our doctors and nurses busy enough these days?

All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and hey don't put that in there, you might lose it.

As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:







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