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<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - AUGUST 13: Head coach Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs talk prior to a preseason game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on August 13, 2022 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Kansas City Chiefs

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - DECEMBER 15: Brock Purdy #13 of the San Francisco 49ers reacts after beating the Seattle Seahawks 21-13 at Lumen Field on December 15, 2022 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: San Francisco 49ers

Lamar Jackson #8 of the Baltimore Ravens looks on from the sideline during the national anthem prior to the AFC Championship NFL football game against the Kansas City Chiefs at M&amp;T Bank Stadium on January 28, 2024 in Baltimore, Maryland.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Baltimore Ravens

Head coach Dan Campbell of the Detroit Lions looks down prior to the NFC Championship NFL football game against the San Francisco 49ers at Levi's Stadium on January 28, 2024 in Santa Clara, California.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Detroit Lions

<div dir="ltr">
<div>Victoria Zeller is a trans writer born and raised in Buffalo, New York, where she still proudly resides. Her debut novel, <i><a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/one-of-the-boys-victoria-zeller/21775251" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://bookshop.org/p/books/one-of-the-boys-victoria-zeller/21775251&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1735306610555000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0sXpgNMmxpIwmIZOFd-Pnw">One of the Boys</a></i>, is out now. Her personal website can be found <a href="http://victoria.monster/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=http://victoria.monster&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1735306610555000&amp;usg=AOvVaw0PrZ7PkO1IykxAodWoMLI_">here</a>.</div>
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Victoria Zeller

Josh Allen #17 of the Buffalo Bills warms up prior to a preseason game against the Chicago Bears at Highmark Stadium on August 10, 2024 in Orchard Park, New York. The Bears won 33-6.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Buffalo Bills

HOUSTON, TEXAS - AUGUST 24: Cal McNair of the Houston Texans walks off the field during a preseason game against the Los Angeles Rams at NRG Stadium on August 24, 2024 in Houston, Texas. (Photo by Ric Tapia/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Houston Texans

Tom Ley

Baker Mayfield #6 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks to pass in the first half during a preseason game against the Miami Dolphins at Raymond James Stadium on August 23, 2024 in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Tampa Bay Buccaneers

GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN - JANUARY 07: Green Bay Packers fan looks on during the game against the Chicago Bears at Lambeau Field on January 07, 2024 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by John Fisher/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Green Bay Packers

INGLEWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 19: Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy and Cowboys owner Jerry Jones talk on the field during an NFL game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Los Angeles Chargers on September 19, 2021, at SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, CA. (Photo by Chris Williams/Icon Sportswire)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Dallas Cowboys

CLEVELAND, OHIO - DECEMBER 17: Fans look on prior to a game between the Chicago Bears and the Cleveland Browns at Cleveland Browns Stadium on December 17, 2023 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Cleveland Browns

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JANUARY 15: Head coach Nick Sirianni of the Philadelphia Eagles looks on prior to the NFC Wild Card Playoffs against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on January 15, 2024 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Julio Aguilar/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Philadelphia Eagles

Miami Dolphins head coach Mike McDaniel enters the field prior to a preseason game against the Washington Commanders at Hard Rock Stadium on August 17, 2024 in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Rich Storry/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Miami Dolphins

Russell Wilson #3 of the Pittsburgh Steelers throws an incomplete pass as he is taken to the ground by Greg Rousseau #50 of the Buffalo Bills in the first quarter during the preseason game at Acrisure Stadium on August 17, 2024 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Pittsburgh Steelers

Cooper Kupp #10 of the Los Angeles Rams walks off the field during a joint practice against the Dallas Cowboys at River Ridge Playing Fields on August 14, 2024 in Oxnard, California.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Los Angeles Rams

Sarah York

Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Joe Burrow (9) looks toward the sideline during the preseason game against the against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Cincinnati Bengals on August 10, 2024, at Paycor Stadium in Cincinnati, OH.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Cincinnati Bengals

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Linebacker Lavonte David (54) eyes Jacksonville Jaguars Quarterback Trevor Lawrence (16) and then David wraps up Lawrence for the sack during the regular season game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on December 24, 2023 at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Jacksonville Jaguars

Rohan Nadkarni

Head coach Mike Macdonald of the Seattle Seahawks watches a workout during Seattle Seahawks rookie minicamp at Virginia Mason Athletic Center on May 03, 2024 in Renton, Washington.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Seattle Seahawks

Indianapolis Colts Quarterback Anthony Richardson (5) looks on during the NFL Preseason game between the Denver Broncos and the Indianapolis Colts on August 11, 2024, at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, Indiana.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Indianapolis Colts

METAIRIE, LOUISIANA - MAY 28: Jamaal Williams #21 of the New Orleans Saints attends the OTA Offseason Workout at the New Orleans Saints Practice facility on May 28, 2024 in Metairie, Louisiana. (Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New Orleans Saints

Ray Ratto

Owner and managing general partner Mark Davis of the Las Vegas Raiders looks on before his team play against the Los Angeles Chargers at Allegiant Stadium on December 14, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Las Vegas Raiders

KANSAS CITY, MO - OCTOBER 12: Denver Broncos head coach Sean Payton walks out of the tunnel prior to an NFL football game against the Kansas City Chiefs at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium on October 12, 2023 in Kansas City, Missouri. (Photo by Cooper Neill/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Denver Broncos

EAGAN, MINNESOTA - AUGUST 02: Aaron Jones #33 interacts with Sam Darnold #14 of the Minnesota Vikings during training camp on August 02, 2024 in Eagan, Minnesota. (Photo by David Berding/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Minnesota Vikings

FLORHAM PARK, NEW JERSEY - MAY 21: Aaron Rodgers #8 of the New York Jets speaks to the media during the New York Jets OTA Offseason Workout at Atlantic Health Jets Training Center on May 21, 2024 in Florham Park, New Jersey. (Photo by Sarah Stier/Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New York Jets

CANTON, OH - AUGUST 01: Chicago Bears QB Caleb Williams (18) stretches during warmups for a National Football League preseason game between the Chicago Bears and Houston Texans on August 1, 2024 at Tom Benson Hall of Fame Stadium in Canton, OH. (Photo by James Black/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Chicago Bears

FLOWERY BRANCH, GEORGIA - MAY 14: Quarterback Kirk Cousins #18 of the Atlanta Falcons speaks to the media during OTA offseason workouts at the Atlanta Falcons training facility on May 14, 2024 in Flowery Branch, Georgia. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)