Time for your weekly edition of the Defector Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're talking money, U2, lasagna, and more.
Hello! I'm happy to be back guest-hosting the Funbag while Drew is off. Let's get to it.
Adam:
So I was lucky enough to get lottery tickets to the Round of 32 in "the San Francisco Bay Area Stadium." (As an aside, fuck FIFA.) Since USA clinched the group with Paraguy's miracle win over Turkey, the value of my ticket is over ten times what i paid for it. I’m a soccer fan, and a red-blooded American, but at what point is it reasonable to cash out on the match and, I don’t know, go on a European vacation? The prices are dumb and getting dumber.
Congrats on having such a nice problem to solve! While the specifics of your question are rare, the question underneath is universal: What is money for? Beyond the obvious answers having to do with securing one’s survival and a degree of comfort, it has always seemed to me that money is a means by which we come to know and demonstrate what matters to us. If you crave stability, you will squirrel away your money as a bulwark against disaster. If you value the admiration of others, you will probably spend freely on legible markers of success. If you want to punish those who once made you feel small and awkward, you will use the money you made taking your tech company public to lobby for a bill making it illegal for women to be mean to you. I think of myself as someone who likes to travel, and that isn’t false exactly, it’s just that there are some things I like more, like picking up the check at a fancy dinner with friends and stocking my home with a rotating selection of vintage rugs purchased on eBay.
So, Adam, you simply have to ask yourself if watching a World Cup match in person matters more to you than taking a European vacation. It is perfectly reasonable to decide that it doesn’t! In your position, I would have booked my flight already.
Adrian:
I had some colleagues over for a barbeque and it was going well. Really good time actually. My inoffensive playlist was pleasing everyone then one of my friends let it be known that she hates U2. The rest of us were pretty surprised because they’re such a universally well-regarded band, we didn’t think anybody could actually hate them. Anyway, we started going around the group asking for other hot takes. So I dropped this one: “I think all people who listen to country music are racist.“ Dead silence. I guess I didn’t read the room properly. Have you ever said something that brought a party to a screeching halt?
Big social events are a great way to remind yourself that the world is full of surprising people, who have surprising opinions. Answering the Funbag is also good for that. For instance, it would never have occurred to me that there are people out there who think hating U2 is the contrarian opinion, because U2 is “a universally well-regarded band.” To quote the genuinely universally beloved Laura Dern in Enlightened, “not in my world. Not in the world I’m living in.”
I’ve always found myself in the minority as I insist that yes, OK, the whole thing is absurdly bombastic and grandiose, and I do unfortunately remember that poem Bono wrote for Ukraine, but the early stuff is good! They have hits! Of course, I say this in such a winsome manner that the party carries on in good cheer, as is always the case. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Pete:
We are having people over today for the USMNT match. Wife sent me to a little Italian market to get all the specific Italian stuff she needs to make Italian food for her Italian friends. She’s Italian.
Anyway, she told me to get a snack for myself because she’s not making dinner. This place has the BEST lasagna. I got two big slices of it and sat down to eat. She started arguing that lasagna is not a snack, using her wild hand gestures, like she does.
I maintain that any food can be a snack. Am I wrong? Btw, I read her Ratto’s take on prosecco, and let’s say that if Ray ever runs into my wife, he’s got a brow-beating on deck.
You’re both right here, and also both wrong. You are correct in thinking that any food can be a snack, which makes your wife wrong in her claim that lasagna is, by virtue of it’s lasagna-ness, disqualified from the category. However, she is right in insisting that what you were eating is not a snack. This distinction is not one of kind but one of degree: while a small portion of lasagna can be a snack, two big slices is a meal. What you’re eating isn’t the determining factor in how you should describe the consumption of food, it’s how much and, in some cases, when. One small slice of lasagna eaten at any time between meals is a snack. Two big slices of lasagna in the afternoon is either late lunch or early dinner. Two big slices as your first meal and it's a breakfast food.
Adam:
I’m sure you’ve already figured out who should host the funbag for next week, but maybe the next time Drew needs someone to fill in for the funbag Defector does a reader-hosted version.
I volunteer to go first.
While we appreciate the offer, I feel that guesthosting the Funbag is sort of like running for political office: anyone who wants the position too much should be barred from holding it. You’re always welcome to tell me how much you disagree with this, or any other answer, in the comments.
Jim:
I asked the New York Times’ Ethicist this question, but I never heard back so I guess it doesn’t rise to their level of an ethical quandary. So I turn to you.
When it comes to our recycle bin, my wife and I are of two different minds as to what belongs in there. We follow the obvious guidelines, but when there is an item that is dubious, I think it should go in the garbage (I am a rule follower), whereas my wife thinks it’s better in the recycle bin (figuring they’ll toss it if it doesn’t belong). Thoughts?
I guess the Ethicist must have been too busy being a member of the 10-person committee that decided this moment was the ideal one to release a report that both misrepresented and undermined much of the work being done in the academic humanities. Oh well!
As far as I understand it, the downside of your approach means that the dubious item in question will end up in a landfill when it could have been recycled. However, putting the wrong thing in the bin risks contaminating multiple items, which all end up being rejected for recycling, thus potentially adding a heap of stuff to the trash pile. I think you’re in the right here, though I do very much admire your wife’s optimism about things turning out OK because the system works.
Dan:
Which is the better day to take off from work to extend your weekend? Friday or Monday?
I argue that it’s Monday based on vibes felt in the office on those days. Plus it gives you time to decompress if you went away for the weekend before going back to work.
The answer to this all depends on if you think weekends are for going out at night or doing things during the day. Friday is better for going out, since Thursday is a fun night to get too many drinks with your friends. Monday is the superior option if you want to get a bunch of shit done on Sunday and still have a day to relax. However, your preference can change with age or the circumstances of your life. I’m currently in a Fridays off period, but could easily revert to being a Mondays off person before long.
