Because Philadelphia sports fans are the irradiated mutants they are, a win by the local team is not necessarily the central point of the exercise. If you’re wondering why the Eagles fan in your life seems grumpy and sour this morning even in victory—that is to say, slightly more hungover but otherwise normal—know that it is mostly because they are an Eagles fan, and also because they are fuming that Saquon Barkley did such yeoman's work in saving Jake Elliott's job.
Oh, they'll open any conversation, whether you asked or not, with their pleasure at the Eagles beating Washington, 26-18, grabbing the NFC East race by its saggy eyelids, and covering the 4.5 en route. But if they bet the over, they will be fuming in their own charmingly unintelligible way about the seven gettable points that Elliott, the team's veteran placekicker, could not deliver. And in a division race that now almost surely belongs to the Iggles, those little things count—not some knobhead’s bet, but the worry that your kicker might screw you in real time in December, or worse, January.
The Eagles left the first half asleep in the snow; their defense mostly hid the inadequacies of the offense, but that offense could do nothing at all and they trailed the upstart 'Ders, 7-3. In other words, Barkley had not yet gotten around to dragging his teammates’ listless hinders to victory against their will. For his part, Elliott hooked a 44-yard field goal to end their first possession, causing consternation among fans strongly inclined to, well, consternate. Elliott then opened the second quarter by hooking a 51-yarder, and tripled down on his unemployment benefits in the second half by hooking the extra point on Philadelphia's first touchdown.
At that point, Elliott was hated as though he had just been nominated to be Donald Trump's Secretary of Kicking. His mostly reliable track record notwithstanding, it was hard to make a counter-argument in his defense. Of the nine kickers who have missed more than one field goal in a game this year, three (Greg Joseph, Cade York, and Brayden Narveson) were cut, a fourth (Greg Zuerlein) is on injured reserve though most people think that's just roster management with a different name, a fifth (Will Reichard) is on real injured reserve, a sixth (Jake Moody) nearly got his long snapper strangled last weekend, and the remaining three (Younghoe Koo, Wil Lutz, and Ka'imi Fairbairn) are tenured veterans. Which, given that they’re kickers, means they're probably two weeks or one more stinker away from getting handed the brick-filled bowling bag themselves. And that is despite Koo getting a paternal hug from Falcons owner Arthur Blank at the end of the game after he missed three last week. Trust us, there's never a second hug.
But then Barkley rose as only he can, breaking a 23-yard touchdown run and then a 39-yard TD sprint to allow the Eagles to pull away—hell, he didn't even have to arse-first hurdle any of the Commanders, which took away some of the luster of his 26-carry, 146-yard night. The bar he has set this season is becoming absurdly high even for him; he should be able to pace himself more strategically, like the Bayou Swede pole vaulter Mondo Duplantis, who keeps setting records an increment at a time to maximize his bonuses. Once you jump all the way over an NFL defensive back, people wonder if you've lost your competitive edge when you don't do it again.
Barkley’s true achievement here was that he almost surely made all but the most committed Eagle crank forget that they have officially turned on Elliott, and still don't believe there are any virtues to be found in coach Nick Sirianni and his atrocious 42-19 career record. Philadelphia are 8-2 this year, the third best record in the league after Kansas City and Detroit, and Sirianni still always looks haggard and desperate, as though the wolves are closing on him while he's trying to deliver the heart, lungs, and liver to the transplant center to save the town's beloved octogenarian grade school teacher.
That's a lot of weight to put on Barkley's shoulders, but as he is one of the most delightful stories of this season, he feels perfectly cast for the job. He is on pace for 2,044 yards and 18 rushing and receiving touchdowns, and the 10 he has already scored have come from an average distance of 21 yards. In other words, he is also saving quarterback Jalen Hurts' hinder as well as Sirianni's, and now Elliott's as well. Barkley is by any measure the only athlete, person, mammal or living thing that Philadelphians will agree that they cannot loathe, and his only shortcoming is that his signature moment may have come three months early.
So never forget all the bad news that hasn’t hit the transaction wire out of Philly because Barkley has been there spackling the holes almost before they appear. Nothing cures quite like a long run, especially one like Barkley’s last touchdown, when he not only sprinted into the end zone but sprinted back to the bench to accept thanks from all the people whose jobs he has helped save or prolong this year. Saquon Barkley has become the Santa the fan base cannot boo. Yes, the original story is more legend than truth, there, but Barkley is getting pretty damned mythical himself. He is, to put it simply, a better Gritty.
