Report: Aaron Rodgers Being Considered For Dream Job As Attention-Getting Loser

According to the New York Times, toasted disappointment and third-party presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has placed Jets quarterback and needy crybaby Aaron Rodgers atop his shortlist of potential running mates.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has recently approached the N.F.L. quarterback Aaron Rodgers and the former Minnesota governor and professional wrestler Jesse Ventura about serving as his running mate on an independent presidential ticket, and both have welcomed the overtures, two people familiar with the discussions said.

Mr. Kennedy confirmed on Tuesday that the two men were at the top of his list. It is not clear if either has been formally offered the post, however, and Mr. Kennedy is still considering a shortlist of potential candidates, the people familiar with the discussions said.

Mr. Kennedy said that he had been speaking with Mr. Rodgers “pretty continuously” for the past month, and that he had been in touch with Mr. Ventura since the former governor introduced him at a campaign event last month in Arizona.

NYT

It's unclear how naming Rodgers as his running mate would improve Kennedy's chances at securing a meaningful number of votes in this year's election. Kennedy, whose policy platform is going on podcasts that somehow last two hours and saying "Anthony Fauci" 224 times, wouldn't gain many new voters by pairing up with a running mate whose political platform is going on podcasts that somehow last three hours and saying "medical freedom" 129 times. Your running mate is supposed to expand your constituency, Robert! You've already got all the voters who think wearing a flat-brim hat is a personality!

Though there's nothing in the Times report to indicate that Rodgers is actively seeking this appointment from Kennedy, it's pretty funny to learn that the guy who recently stood in front of reporters at the Jets' facility and said, "Anything in this building that we're doing individually or collectively that has nothing to do with real winning needs to be assessed," has been spending his offseason having continuous conversations with a fringe presidential candidate and going on podcasts to talk about Egyptology and "ancient giant trees." To be fair to Rodgers, he has also apparently found time this offseason to sit with a biographer and become "jacked in the upper body."

Everything that happens next is going to be really annoying. Kennedy will probably pick someone who is not Rodgers to be his running mate, and then Rodgers will eventually make an appearance on Pat McAfee's TV show to address this report. He'll say something about "so-called journalists" making up stories "for clicks," and then he'll smirk so hard that his eyes will water.

Training camp starts in a few months. Aaron Rodgers is 40 years old. The Jets went 7-10 last season.

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