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Tom Ley

Well That Was Annoying

Mason Greenwood Arrested Following Rape And Assault Allegations

Patrick Redford

COLUMBUS, OHIO - JANUARY 27: Christian Pulisic #10 of the United States makes a corner kick in the second half during the World Cup qualifying game against El Salvador at Lower.com Field on January 27, 2022 in Columbus, Ohio. (Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images)

USMNT Wins Procedurally Generated World Cup Qualifier

Fifa President Gianni Infantino speaks at Jerusalem Post's annual conference on October 12, 2021 in Jerusalem, Israel. The conference featured officials, diplomats and business leaders discussing the health, economic and security challenges facing Israel

FIFA President: The Transcendent Power Of The World Cup Will Keep Refugees From Drowning

Billy Haisley

Manchester City's Belgian midfielder Kevin De Bruyne is tackled by Southampton's Ghanaian defender Mohammed Salisu during the English Premier League football match between Southampton and Manchester City at St Mary's Stadium in Southampton, southern England on January 22, 2022.

Mohammed Salisu Wrecked Manchester City’s Shit

COMMERCE CITY, CO - MARCH 22: Fans of the United States national team cheer, wave a flag, and sing as snow falls during a FIFA 2014 World Cup Qualifier match between Costa Rica and United States at Dick's Sporting Goods Park on March 22, 2013 in Commerce City, Colorado. (Photo by Dustin Bradford/Getty Images)

There’s No Good Reason To Send The USMNT Into The Freezing North

Barcelona's French forward Ousmane Dembele controls the ball during the Spanish league football match between FC Barcelona and Elche CF at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on December 18, 2021.

Wow Would You Look At That, Barcelona Is Still Miserable

MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 16: Zack Steffen of Manchester City celebrates after the Premier League match between Manchester City and Burnley at Etihad Stadium on October 16, 2021 in Manchester, England. (Photo by Jan Kruger/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Zack Steffen

That Couldn’t Have Gone Any Worse

USA's forward Paul Arriola (R) points to forward Daryl Dike (L) after an opportunity during the Concacaf Gold Cup quarterfinal football match between USA and Jamaica at the AT&amp;T stadium in Arlington, Texas on July 25, 2021. (Photo by Andy JACOBSOHN / AFP) (Photo by ANDY JACOBSOHN/AFP via Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: Daryl Dike

Luis Paez-Pumar

Granit Xhaka of Arsenal leaves the field of play after being sent off during the Carabao Cup Semi Final First Leg match between Liverpool and Arsenal at Anfield on January 13, 2022 in Liverpool, England.

Granit Xhaka, Granit Xhaka, Voyez Rouge?

AFCON Referee Escapes The Shackles Of Time

Liverpool's Brazilian midfielder Philippe Coutinho (C) shoots to score the opening goal of the English Premier League football match between Liverpool and Swansea City at Anfield in Liverpool, north west England on December 26, 2017.

Coutinho Has Another Chance To Be Coutinho Again

Don’t Put Commercials In Soccer, You Assholes

Albert Burneko

Gavi, Noooo! (But Also, Yesss.)

Kai Havertz of Chelsea interacts with Virgil van Dijk of Liverpool during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on January 02, 2022 in London, England.

Liverpool Has Lost Control

Manchester City Is Swinging The Sword

Barcelona's US defender Sergino Dest controls the ball during the Spanish League football match between FC Barcelona and Deportivo Alaves at the Camp Nou stadium in Barcelona on October 30, 2021. (Photo by Pau BARRENA / AFP) (Photo by PAU BARRENA/AFP via Getty Images)

Sergiño Dest Is Probably Moving On Up From Barcelona And It Feels Terrible

Premier League Managers Are Fed Up

Laura Wagner

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Roma Teen Pretending He Scored A Goal

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - MAY 23: George Bello #21 of Atlanta United against Alex Roldan #16 of Seattle Sounders during the first half at Lumen Field on May 23, 2021 in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Steph Chambers/Getty Images)

What Is This USMNT Guy’s Deal: George Bello

General view of a Tottenham sign under the arch outside the stadium before the Premier League match between Tottenham Hotspur and Watford FC at Wembley Stadium on January 30, 2019 in London, United Kingdom.

Tottenham’s COVID-19 Outbreak Is Worrying

Marc Andre ter Stegen, keeper of FC Barcelona reacts as Leroy Sané of Muenchen scores the second goal during the UEFA Champions League group E match between FC Bayern München and FC Barcelona at Football Arena Munich on December 08, 2021 in Munich, Germany.

Barcelona Takes Another Big Step Back

Wendell of FC Porto clashes with Matheus Cunha of Atletico Madrid during the UEFA Champions League group B match between FC Porto and Atletico Madrid at Estadio do Dragao on December 07, 2021 in Porto, Portugal.

Atlético Madrid-Porto Was Soccer At Its Dumbest

Rafa Benítez Can’t Afford To Screw This Up Now