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Ray Ratto

DENVER, COLORADO - APRIL 09: Nathan MacKinnon #29 of the Colorado Avalanche skates against the Calgary Flames prior to the game at Ball Arena on April 9, 2026 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Michael Martin/NHLI via Getty Images)

The Avs Have Won Nothing

OTTAWA, CANADA - OCTOBER 24: Anton Forsberg #31 of the Ottawa Senators and Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen #1 of the Buffalo Sabres shake hands after a ceremonial face-off recognizing Craig Anderson after he signed a one-day contract to retire as a member of the Ottawa Senators at Canadian Tire Centre on October 24, 2023 in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by André Ringuette/NHLI via Getty Images)

It Is The Spring Of The Downtrodden

MONTREAL, CANADA - APRIL 11: Head coach Rick Bowness of the Columbus Blue Jackets handles bench duties during the second period against the Montréal Canadiens at the Bell Centre on April 11, 2026 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. The Columbus Blue Jackets defeated the Montréal Canadiens 5-2. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)

The Blue Jackets Have Driven Another Coach Raving Mad

Julian Reese of the Washington Wizards and Lachlan Olbrich #47 of the Chicago Bulls fight for the ball during the second half at Capital One Arena on April 9, 2026 in Washington, DC.

And Now It Is Time To Forget The NBA’s Regular Season

A group of British football-playing dads in the 1980s, wearing their uniforms and holding their infant children while posing for a picture. Includes the "minor dilemmas" logo of a black outline of a crawling baby

Minor Dilemmas

Can I Tell Another Parent That I Despise One Of My Kid’s Peers?

Elliot Cadeau #3 of the Michigan Wolverines celebrates after defeating the UConn Huskies 69-63 in the National Championship of the 2026 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament on April 6, 2026.

College Basketball

Michigan Met Connecticut In The Muck And Won

Luka Doncic of the Los Angeles Lakers reacts after a play during the second half against the Oklahoma City Thunder at the Paycom Center on April 2, 2026 in Oklahoma City. This is the play in which he hurt his hamstring.

A Vengeful Deity Is Smiting The Lakers

Macklin Celebrini of the San Jose Sharks celebrates scoring a goal in the third period against the Anaheim Ducks at SAP Center on April 1, 2026 in San Jose, California. You can see the Ducks guys looking upset in the background.

The San Jose Sharks Keep Winning At The Last Possible Moment

Houston Rockets Kenny Smith (C) gets squeezed out on a screen play by Seattle Supersonic Detlef Schrempf (R) as his teammate Gary Payton (L) dribbles past during game one of their Western Conference semifinal series on May 4 in Seattle.

A Basketball Team Can Be Sold, But Who Owns Its History?

Athletics OF Lawrence Butler reacts after striking out during the MLB game between the Athletics and the Atlanta Braves on March 30th, 2026.

The Sacramento Athletics Are A Wind Farm

Coach John Tortorella of the Philadelphia Flyers of the Utah Hockey Club at the Wells Fargo Center on December 8, 2024 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Las Vegas Is Ready For The John Tortorella Experience

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MARCH 23: Assistant coach David Quinn of the New York Rangers handles the bench against the Ottawa Senators at Madison Square Garden on March 23, 2026 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

A Pox Upon Whoever Spared The Rangers From Nine-Shot Ignominy

Aaron Judge of the New York Yankees arrives to the spring training game against the Chicago Cubs on March 23, 2026 in Mesa, Arizona. He's got big goofy shades on.

Baseball Is Almost Back, And Almost Gone

EDMONTON, CANADA - MARCH 21: Connor McDavid #97 of the Edmonton Oilers steps into the penalty box during the second period of the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning at Rogers Place on March 21, 2026, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. (Photo by Andy Devlin/NHLI via Getty Images)

Doesn’t Anybody Want To Win This Wretched Division?

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle interviews an A's player, who is sadly Addison Russell, during Spring Training in 2014.

Journalismism

Who Told Scott Ostler He Was Allowed To Retire?

MIAMI, FL - MARCH 17: Aaron Judge #99 of Team USA looks on during the pre-game ceremony prior to the 2026 World Baseball Classic Championship game presented by Capital One between Team Venezuela and Team USA at loanDepot Park on Tuesday, March 17, 2026 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Daniel Shirey/WBCI/MLB Photos via Getty Images)

Team USA Lost For The Troops

Adam Silver, commissioner of the National Basketball Association, watches the game during the second half between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Utah Jazz at Moda Center on March 13, 2026. He is looking extra turtle-ish.

The NBA’s Expansion Gambit Is About Getting Bigger, Not Better

Auston Matthews of the Toronto Maple Leafs kneels on the ice after being kneed by Radko Gudas of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks on March 12, 2026 in Toronto.

Auston Matthews Is Hurt And The Maple Leafs Are Burnt Toast

Celtics' Bill Russell (rear) pins Warriors' Wilt Chamberlain's right arm, and holds him, during wild 4th quarter in which both sides fought on April 1, 1962.

There’s Always A Way To Deny The Undeniable

Maxx Crosby of the Las Vegas Raiders reacts on the sideline in the second half against the Houston Texans at NRG Stadium on December 21, 2025.

Maxx Crosby Is Back In Football Purgatory

James Harden of the LA Clippers carries his brand name wine J-Harden Cabernet Sauvignon and shoe package as he arrives ahead of their NBA game against the Toronto Raptors.

My Coworkers Browbeat Me Into Drinking James Harden’s Wine

Scott Sabourin of the Tampa Bay Lightning fights Sam Carrick of the Buffalo Sabres on March 8, 2026. The shadows look cool.

The Sabres And Lightning Brawled, Scored, And Cemented A Wild New Rivalry

NEWARK, NJ - MARCH 04: Auston Matthews #34 of the Toronto Maple Leafs chats with William Nylander #88 during a game between the Toronto Maple Leafs and New Jersey Devils at Prudential Center on March 4, 2026 in Newark, New Jersey. (Photo by Andrew Mordzynski/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

It’s Angst Day In Canada’s Angst Capital

Charlotte Hornets forward Moussa Diabate (14) screams out after dunking during the first half of a NBA game at the TD Garden.