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Ray Ratto

A general view of Tropicana Field during Game 1 of the Wild Card Series between the Texas Rangers and the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field on Tuesday, October 3, 2023 in Tampa, Florida.

The Rays Are Masters Of Being Forgotten

PHOENIX, ARIZONA - SEPTEMBER 19: Manager Gabe Kapler #19 of the San Francisco Giants watches from the dugout during the first inning of the MLB game against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field on September 19, 2023 in Phoenix, Arizona. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)

The Giants’ Organizational Mediocrity Runs Deeper Than Gabe Kapler

PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA - SEPTEMBER 21: Bryce Harper #3 of the Philadelphia Phillies reacts during the fifth inning against the New York Mets at Citizens Bank Park on September 21, 2023 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)

Angel Hernandez Will Make You Want To Throw A Thing

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 28: The Grounds crew pull the tarp back on the field at Citi Field on September 28, 2023 in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City. (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)

Fish All Wet

A photo of a brown stationwagon next to the water. It is covered in stickers.

Racing

The Legend Of The Brown Smear In Newfoundland

There’s A Reason The Rockets Think They Can Trade Kevin Porter Jr.

General view of Busch Stadium during a game between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Oakland Athletics on August 14, 2023 in St Louis, Missouri.

Joy Is Where You Find It, Even If That Means In St. Louis

A New York Jets fan looks on from the crowd during a game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at MetLife Stadium on Saturday, August 19, 2023, in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

For Jets Fans, Disaster Is The Only Love Language

Adam Silver Thinks The Key To Resting NBA Players Is More Policy, Not Fewer Games

ARLINGTON, TX - SEPTEMBER 5: Manager Bruce Bochy #15 of the Texas Rangers watches action against the Houston Astros during the second inning at Globe Life Field on September 5, 2023 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Ron Jenkins/Getty Images)

The Rangers Are Going Quietly

CLEVELAND, OH - SEPTEMBER 04: Cleveland Guardians position player David Fry (12) delivers a pitch to the plate during the sixth inning of the Major League Baseball game between the Minnesota Twins and Cleveland Guardians on September 4, 2023, at Progressive Field in Cleveland, OH. (Photo by Frank Jansky/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

Let David Fry Cook

Ronald Acuña Jr. of the Atlanta Braves watches his second-inning grand slam against the Los Angeles Dodgers, which made him the first MLB player in history to hit 30 home runs and steal 60 bases in the same season.

The World Series Is All We Want And Can Never Have

Landen King #14, Jaylon Glover #1, Munir McClain #4, Nate Johnson #13 of the Utah Utes lead the team onto the field before the start o their game agianst the Florida Gators at Rice Eccles Stadium August 31, 2023 in Salt Lake City, Utah.

College Football

The Pac-12’s Demise Will Be Rich With Metaphors

Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf of the Chicago White Sox watches his team play against the Cleveland Indians at Guaranteed Rate Field on May 01, 2021 in Chicago, Illinois.

Jerry Reinsdorf Went McConnell Mode

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - AUGUST 29: Alex Cobb #38 of the San Francisco Giants pitches against the Cincinnati Reds as a almost full moon rises behind him in the fifth inning at Oracle Park on August 29, 2023 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

Alex Cobb Was Dealing So Hard, Gabe Kapler Conveniently Forgot How To Count

Trey Lance #5 of the San Francisco 49ers warms up during pregame warm ups prior to playing the Denver Broncos at Levi's Stadium on August 19, 2023 in Santa Clara, California.

Trey Lance’s Draft Position Never Meant Anything

St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright throws what looks like a circle-change against the Kansas City Royals

Chasing A Round Number In A Zero-Sum Season

Jerry Reinsdorf Chairman of the Chicago White Sox on the field before the game between the Chicago White Sox and the Minnesota Twins at Guaranteed Rate Field on June 29, 2019 in Chicago, Illinois.

Jerry Reinsdorf Is Bored And Cranky

Knicks owner James Dolan, seen here leering weirdly at a Knicks/Lakers game in 2019. He has a goatee.

Who Would Steal The Business Secrets Of The New York Knicks?

Victor Francos at left and RFEF chief Luis Rubiales, smirking in the center, at a reception following the Spanish women's team's triumph in the 2023 Women's World Cup.

Soccer

Luis Rubiales Can’t Even Be A Pig Right

Sam Kerr of Australia scores the teams first goal during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Semi Final match between Australia and England at Stadium Australia on August 16, 2023 in Sydney, Australia.

Sam Kerr Struck, But England Squeezed

CAMDEN, NEW JERSEY - FEBRUARY 15: President of basketball operations Daryl Morey responds during a press conference at the Seventy Sixers Practice Facility on February 15, 2022 in Camden, New Jersey. (Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images) NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.

James Harden And Daryl Morey Deserve Each Other

Olga Carmona of Spain (R) attempts a kick while being defended by Nathalie Bjorn of Sweden (L) during the FIFA Women's World Cup Australia &amp; New Zealand 2023 Semi Final match between Spain and Sweden at Eden Park on August 15, 2023 in Auckland, New Zealand.

Spain Rode A Thunderbolt Into The World Cup Final

REGINA, CANADA - JULY 6: Tomas Jack-Kurdyla #64 of the Edmonton Elks on the sideline before the game between the Edmonton Elks and Saskatchewan Roughriders at Mosaic Stadium on July 6, 2023 in Regina, Canada. (Photo by Brent Just/Getty Images)

Edmonton Elks Till I Die, Which Given Their Play Will Be Shortly

UNITED KINGDOM - JUNE 03: ROYAL ALBERT HALL Photo of BAND, L-R: Robbie Robertson, Levon Helm (playing guitar), Rick Danko, Richard Manuel (on drums), Garth Hudson - performing live onstage (Photo by Mick Gold/Redferns)