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Ray Ratto

PHILADELPHIA, PA - AUGUST 07: Former Philadelphia Phillies player Pete Rose acknowledges the crowd prior to the game against the Washington Nationals at Citizens Bank Park on August 7, 2022 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Phillies defeated the Nationals 13-1. (Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)

The Last Word On Pete Rose Is Deeply Unpleasant

CINCINNATI, OHIO - SEPTEMBER 24: Joey Votto #19 of the Cincinnati Reds acknowledges the crowd before his first at-bat during a game against the Pittsburgh Pirates at Great American Ball Park on September 24, 2023 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Joey Votto Just Got It

Caleb Williams #18 of the Chicago Bears warms up prior to an NFL football game against the Cincinnati Bengals at Solider Field on August 17, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.

Caleb Williams Has More Than Defenses And Doubters To Worry About

Oakland Athletics shortstop Max Schuemann (12) tags out San Francisco Giants outfielder Mike Yastrzemski (5) during an MLB game between the San Francisco Giants and Oakland Athletics on August 18, 2024, at the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum in Oakland, CA.

Bay Area Rivalry Nobody Cared About Reaches Suitable End

Luis Paez-Pumar

Albert Burneko

Billy Haisley

Maitreyi Anantharaman

Patrick Redford

Tom Ley

The Premier League trophy during a pre-season friendly match between Manchester City and Celtic at Kenan Stadium, on July 23, 2024, in North Carolina, USA.

Soccer

And Now, A Timely And Exhaustive Preview Of The 2024-25 Premier League Season

Mauricio Pochettino, Manager of World XI acknowledges the fans prior to Soccer Aid for UNICEF 2024 at Stamford Bridge.

With Mauricio Pochettino, USMNT Aims High And Scores For Once

Bobby Witt Jr. #7 of the Kansas City Royals takes the field in the second inning during the game between the Kansas City Royals and the Minnesota Twins at Target Field on Monday, August 12, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

An Only Moderately Disgusted Overview Of MLB’s Wild Card Races

Owner and managing general partner Mark Davis of the Las Vegas Raiders looks on before his team play against the Los Angeles Chargers at Allegiant Stadium on December 14, 2023 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Las Vegas Raiders

Manager Pedro Grifol of the Chicago White Sox walks back to the dugout after a pitching change during the third inning against the Cleveland Guardians on July 4, 2024 in Cleveland, Ohio.

Pedro Grifol Paid The Price For Winning That One Game

Andrew Vaughn and Luis Robert Jr. of the Chicago White Sox exchange a fist-bump during the team's win on August 6, 2024. It was the White Sox's second win since July 10.

Why This Team Sucks: The August 7 Chicago White Sox

Nicky Lopez of the White Sox looks exhausted and sad during a loss to the Minnesota Twins on August 4, 2024.

Why This Team Sucks: The August 6 Chicago White Sox

Andrew Vaughn #25 of the Chicago White Sox looks on against the Minnesota Twins in the ninth inning at Target Field on August 04, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Twins defeated the White Sox 13-7.

20 Straight Losses Is Where The Real Blight Sox Begin

Blue Jays pitcher Kevin Gausman argues with umpire Laz Diaz from the dugout, while manager John Schneider stands in front of him.

Please Rise And Remove Your Caps For Kevin Gausman’s Argument With The Umpire

Chicago White Sox pitcher Garrett Crochet throws a pitch against the Twins.

The White Sox Continue To Mock The Law Of Averages

ANAHEIM, CALIFORNIA - JULY 28: Mike Trout #27 of the Los Angeles Angels looks on in the dugout during the regular season game against the Oakland Athletics at Angel Stadium of Anaheim on July 28, 2024 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Gene Wang/Getty Images)

Troutless Again

Mike Baumann #53 of the Seattle Mariners looks on during the game against the Chicago White Sox at T-Mobile Park on June 12, 2024 in Seattle.

Mike Baumann Is The MLB Trade Deadline’s Holy Vagabond

CHICAGO, IL - JULY 28: Victor Robles #10 of the Seattle Mariners scores during the fourth inning against the Chicago White Sox on July 28, 2024 at Guaranteed Rate Field in Chicago, Illinois.

Why Are The White Sox Like This?

Sideline reporter Pam Oliver interviews head coach Mike Vrabel of the Tennessee Titans at halftime against the San Francisco 49ers at Nissan Stadium on December 23, 2021 in Nashville, Tennessee.

The Scourge Of In-Game Coach Interviews Spreads To The NFL

Kyler Murray #1 and Hjalte Froholdt #72 of the Arizona Cardinals walk onto the field before the game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on December 24, 2023 in Chicago, Illinois.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: Arizona Cardinals

Owner Robert Kraft of the New England Patriots reacts before Super Bowl LVIII between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City Chiefsat Allegiant Stadium on February 11, 2024 in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Why Your Team Sucks 2024: New England Patriots

Ellie the Elephant Mascot of the New York Liberty arrives to the arena before the Kia Skills Challenge and Starry 3 point contest on July 19, 2024.

WNBA

A Mascot Skeptic Warns Of What Comes After Ellie The Elephant

DETROIT, MI - APRIL 25: NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell walks out on the stage during day 1 of the NFL Draft on April 25, 2024 at Fox Theatre in Detroit, MI. (Photo by John Smolek/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)

The 18-Game NFL Season Already Feels Inevitable

Wings Week

Wings Are What You Order When You’re Out Of Self-Respect

A closeup view of the Detroit Red Wings logo during the third period against the Montreal Canadiens at the Bell Centre on April 16, 2024 in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. The Detroit Red Wings defeated the Montreal Canadiens 5-4 in a shootout.

All Hail The Winged Wheel Of Detroit

Andrew Vaughn #25 of the Chicago White Sox reacts after striking out against the Minnesota Twins on July 10, 2024 in Chicago, Illinois.