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Defector

<p>Columnist. Author of many <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Drew-Magary/e/B001JS8R52/ref=dp_byline_cont_pop_book_1">fine works of literature</a>, including <em>Point B</em>. Handsomest man in the world.</p>


Drew Magary

DALLAS, TEXAS - NOVEMBER 30: A detail view of the College Football Playoff championship trophy is shown prior to the game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants at Gerald J. Ford Stadium on November 30, 2024 in Dallas, Texas.

Funbag

You Are Not Prepared For How Cool The 12-Team Playoff Will Be

Alm Summer Livestock Herding Offers Relief To Stressed Urban Dwellers

Jamboroo

Pass The Salt

1960s Dinner Including Turkey Roast Beef Rolls Pumpkin Pie Peas Pearl Onions Potatoes sweet Potato Gravy Boat Olives Pickles.

An Easy Sweet Potato Brûlée Recipe For You, The Brûlée Lover

I Am The Passenger Now

CLARYVILLE, NY - FEBRUARY 3: A rescued pitbull sits on her owners couch, February 3, 2024 in Claryville, New York.

Help! My Dog Gets Mad At Me When I Fart!

Nevada Las Vegas The Strip MGM Grand Hotel Casino slot machines neon lights interior gambling

Your Luck’s About To Change

What’s The Worst Sport To Play With A Poopy Diaper?

MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA - NOVEMBER 03: Sam Darnold #14 of the Minnesota Vikings celebrates a touchdown against the Indianapolis Colts in the third quarter at U.S. Bank Stadium on November 03, 2024 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The Vikings defeated the Colts 21-13.

My Big Boy Sam Darnold Is Big Fun

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - APRIL 15: San Diego Chicken (Ted Giannoulis) cooks up some chicken wings on his grill at his home nest, April 15, 1986 in San Diego, California.

Don’t Sauce My Fried Chicken If You Suck At It

Head coach Sean Payton of the Denver Broncos stands on the sidelines during the national anthem prior to an NFL football game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Raymond James Stadium on September 22, 2024 in Tampa, Florida.

Is Your Head Coach A Mayor?

A Pre-Election Dog Story For You, The Dog Fan

Voiture 4x4 de marque Jeep Cherokee à Tignes, France.

Let’s Remember Our Cars

In an old black-and-white photo, a pair of cute kids use an ear trumpet to communicate.

How To Go Deaf

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones looks on before a game against the Baltimore Ravens at AT&amp;T Stadium on September 22, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

The 2024 NFL Season Is A Hater’s Paradise

Ostia Antica. Latrine at the Domus of Triclini, headquarters of the guild of builders. 2nd century AD. Near Rome.

What We Talk About When We Talk About Our Toilet Apps

A dirty empty plate, fork and knife on a wooden table. Used cutlery, symbolizing the end of lunch or dinner.

I Got My Fill

MIAMI, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 02: In this photo illustration, the names of the candidates for the 2024 Presidential election, including Republican presidential nominee, former U.S. President Donald Trump, and Democratic presidential nominee, Vice President Kamala Harris, appear on a vote-by-mail ballot on October 02, 2024 in Miami, Florida. With 33 days to go until election day, voters across the nation have begun to receive their absentee/mail ballots. (Photo illustration by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

October Surprises Are Bullshit

Father cooking on barbecue with wife and daughters

I Have Given My Sons The Gift Of Fire

Tom Brady looks on prior to the game at AT&amp;T Stadium on September 15, 2024 in Arlington, Texas.

We Must Address The Tom Brady Crisis (The Crisis Being That He Stinks)

Trevor Lawrence #16 of the Jacksonville Jaguars reacts during the second quarter against the Cleveland Browns at TrEver Bank Stadium on September 15, 2024 in Jacksonville, Florida.

Help, Help! All Of The Rich Quarterbacks Are Eating Shit!

Eric Ng leads the parade through the cubicles at Yahoo! in Sunnyvale, Calif. on May 24, 1996. Co-workers follow on bikes and roller blades. The parade was a regular, though impromptu, event at Yahoo!

There’s No Such Thing As Wasted Time

Deshaun Watson #4 of the Cleveland Browns is tackled by Damone Clark #18 of the Dallas Cowboys during the second half at Cleveland Browns Stadium on September 08, 2024 in Cleveland, Ohio.

End This Farce

Clorox disinfecting wipes are seen displayed for sale at a Walmart Supercenter on September 18, 2023 in Austin, Texas. Clorox has warned of a drop in quarterly earnings and product shortages after a recent cyberattack on the company's information technology infrastructure has disrupted operations and product availability.

Help! My Friend Wipes His Ass With Bleach!

CLEVELAND - 1987: Defensive backs Hanford Dixon #29 and Frank Minnifield #31 of the Cleveland Browns draw plays in the dirt on the field before a game at Municipal Stadium circa 1987 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by George Gojkovich/Getty Images)

A Well-Executed Day

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS - AUGUST 13: Head coach Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes #15 of the Kansas City Chiefs talk prior to a preseason game against the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on August 13, 2022 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images)