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Chris Thompson

Staff Writer

Find me on Signal @DefectorChris.19

Science

Could A Jeep-Mounted Zion Williamson Roundhouse-Kick My Head Off? An Investigation

April 14, 2021
Interviews

A Cryptocurrency Expert Introduces Me To The Dystopian Nightmare Of Art As A Financial Instrument

April 12, 2021
Chefector

Let’s Make Our Own Damn Bitters And Remember The Great Happy Hours Of The Before Times

MLB

Fans Remind Astros Of Their Sins With Not One, But Two Trash Cans Thrown Onto Field

Science

Imagine The Awesome Face-Annihilating Powers Of The Antimatter-Freezing Laser

This Is So Stupid

White Sox Send Eloy Jimenez To The Great Baseball Diamond In The Sky

April 2, 2021
MLB

Congratulations To The 19 Far-Flung Fans Who Can Now Stream Nationals Games

Media Meltdowns

Papa John Posts Audio Of People Reacting In Authentic Disgust To His Racism, To Prove He Is Not Racist

March 31, 2021
Let's Remember Some Guys

Let’s Remember Some Guys Who May Or May Not Have Told Kelvin Sampson, Respectfully, To Cram It

March 30, 2021
NBA

Aaron Gordon’s 19-Minute “Documentary” About Losing The Dunk Contest Is Just The Lamest Shit Ever

March 29, 2021
NBA

You Will Never Guess Which NBA General Manager Was So Close To Making Several Big Deadline Trades

March 26, 2021
NBA

Julius Randle Is Suddenly Dirk Nowitzki Or Some Shit

March 24, 2021
Life Lessons

Stuff And Smother More Food, Goddammit

March 22, 2021
NBA

Rockets Head Coach Stephen Silas Is Enduring The Torments Of Hell

March 22, 2021
NBA

Russell Westbrook Sure Knows How To Lose A Basketball Game

March 18, 2021
The Fights

Tommy Hearns Got The Ball Rolling On The Bullshit Anti-Vaxx Conspiracy Theory Of Marvin Hagler’s Death

March 16, 2021
Life Lessons

You Must Have One Trick For The Baby

March 15, 2021
Chefector

Let’s Make Some Delicious Limoncello, For It Is Limoncello Time

March 11, 2021
Media Meltdowns

How Not To Write A Blog About Meyers Leonard’s Heated Gaming Moment

Science

If Scientists Are To Use Tokamak Rockets To Send Man To Mars, They Must Agree To Use My Face As The Launch Pad

Interviews

An Epidemiologist Explains The Challenges Of Vaccinating A Neurotic Nation

February 9, 2021
Year In Review

What Our Family Members Thought Of Defector In 2020

December 31, 2020
NFL

There Is No Quarterback Too Obscure To Replace Dwayne Haskins

December 27, 2020
NBA

Things Are Going Extremely Normally For The Clippers

December 27, 2020
NFL

To The Screeching Horror Of Jets And Browns Fans, Jets Beat Browns

December 27, 2020
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