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Barry Petchesky

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JUNE 30: Blake Coleman #20 of the Tampa Bay Lightning scores against Carey Price #31 of the Montreal Canadiens during the second period in Game Two of the 2021 NHL Stanley Cup Final at Amalie Arena on June 30, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

The Margin Of Error Against The Lightning Is 1.1 Seconds

TAMPA, FLORIDA - JUNE 28: Victor Hedman #77 of the Tampa Bay Lightning celebrates a goal by Yanni Gourde past Carey Price #31 of the Montreal Canadiens during the third period in Game One of the 2021 NHL Stanley Cup Final at Amalie Arena on June 28, 2021 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by Mike Carlson/Getty Images)

The Lightning Have A Plan For That

This Is So Stupid

Céline Dion, How Could You?

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - NOVEMBER 15: Carl Nassib #94 of the Las Vegas Raiders flexes during warmups before a game against the Denver Broncos at Allegiant Stadium on November 15, 2020 in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Raiders defeated the Broncos 37-12. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Defector Up All Night

Breaking: Raiders DE Carl Nassib Is At His House In West Chester, Pennsylvania

MONTREAL, QUEBEC - JUNE 20: Robin Lehner #90 of the Vegas Golden Knights makes the save against Phillip Danault #24 of the Montreal Canadiens during the second period in Game Four of the Stanley Cup Semifinals of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Bell Centre on June 20, 2021 in Montreal, Quebec. (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)

Vegas Has The Best Kind Of Goalie Controversy

Gah!

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - JUNE 14: Carey Price #31 of the Montreal Canadiens allows a goal to Alec Martinez (not pictured) of the Vegas Golden Knights during the second period in Game One of the Stanley Cup Semifinals during the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at T-Mobile Arena on June 14, 2021 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Don’t Just Shoot

RALEIGH, NORTH CAROLINA - JUNE 08: Brayden Point #21 of the Tampa Bay Lightning shoots and scores against Alex Nedeljkovic #39 of the Carolina Hurricanes during the second period in Game Five of the Second Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at PNC Arena on June 08, 2021 in Raleigh, North Carolina. (Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images)

Brayden Point Plays At A Different Speed

NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 3: Gerrit Cole #45 of the New York Yankees reacts against the Tampa Bay Rays during the fourth inning at Yankee Stadium on June 3, 2021 in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Adam Hunger/Getty Images)

Gerrit Cole, Asked Simple, Straightforward Yes/No Question: [5 Seconds Of Silence] [5 More Seconds Of Stammering] “I Don’t Quite Know How To Answer That”

MONTREAL, QC - JUNE 07: The Montreal Canadiens celebrate an overtime victory against the Winnipeg Jets in Game Four of the Second Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Bell Centre on June 7, 2021 in Montreal, Canada. The Montreal Canadiens defeated the Winnipeg Jets 3-2 in overtime and eliminate them with a 4-0 series win. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)

The Canadiens Are Built To Frustrate

MONTREAL, QC - JUNE 06: Goaltender Connor Hellebuyck #37 of the Winnipeg Jets looks at Nick Suzuki #14 of the Montreal Canadiens as he celebrates his goal during the third period in Game Three of the Second Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Bell Centre on June 6, 2021 in Montreal, Canada. The Montreal Canadiens defeated the Winnipeg Jets 5-1. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)

The Jets Almost Scored A Big Goal! But Didn’t.

TORONTO, ON - MAY 31: Auston Matthews #34 of the Toronto Maple Leafs warms up prior to play against the Montreal Canadiens in Game Seven of the First Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Scotiabank Arena on May 31, 2021 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Auston Matthews

So What The Hell Do The Leafs Do Now?

Olympics

The U.S. Men Did Not Qualify For 3-On-3 Basketball At The Olympics

Marcell Ozuna Arrested And Charged With Choking And Hitting His Wife

MONTREAL, QC - MAY 29: Jesperi Kotkaniemi #15 of the Montreal Canadiens celebrates his goal during overtime against the Toronto Maple Leafs in Game Six of the First Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Bell Centre on May 29, 2021 in Montreal, Canada. The Montreal Canadiens are the first NHL Canadian team to host 2,500 fans since the COVID-19 pandemic. The Montreal Canadiens defeated the Toronto Maple Leafs 3-2 in overtime. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)

Leafs Fans, You Have Permission To Panic

MONTREAL, QC - MAY 24: Alex Galchenyuk #12 of the Toronto Maple Leafs checks Joel Armia #40 of the Montreal Canadiens during the third period in Game Three of the First Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the Bell Centre on May 24, 2021 in Montreal, Canada. The Toronto Maple Leafs defeated the Montreal Canadiens 2-1. (Photo by Minas Panagiotakis/Getty Images)

This Was The Alex Galchenyuk That Was Hoped For

Things We Actually Like

From The People Who Brought You Boat: Bridge

TORONTO, ON - MAY 20: John Tavares #91 of the Toronto Maple Leafs appears to suffer a significant injury against the Montreal Canadiens in Game One of the First Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at Scotiabank Arena on May 20, 2021 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** John Tavares

That Was About As Sour A Start To A Cup Run As You Could Envision

SUNRISE, FLORIDA - MAY 16: Nikita Kucherov #86 of the Tampa Bay Lightning scores on the powerplay at 14:51 of the second period against Sergei Bobrovsky #72 of the Florida Panthers in Game One of the First Round of the 2021 Stanley Cup Playoffs at the BB&amp;T Center on May 16, 2021 in Sunrise, Florida. The Lightning defeated the Panthers 5-4. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Nikita Kucherov Makes The Lightning Go

MIAMI, FLORIDA - JANUARY 30: Sam Darnold attends Twitch Rivals: Streamer Bowl After Party at Verizon 5G Stadium at Super Bowl LIVE on January 30, 2020 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Verizon)

Here They Are, The Four Saddest Words In The English Language: Sam Darnold Revenge Game

Legacy Homepage

BUFFALO, NY - JANUARY 26: Jack Eichel #9 of the Buffalo Sabres celebrates after scoring on the New York Rangers during the second period at KeyBank Center on January 26 , 2021 in Buffalo, New York. (Photo by Kevin Hoffman/Getty Images)

Jack Eichel Sounds Done With This Shit

DALLAS, TEXAS - MARCH 04: John Tortorella, head coach of the Columbus Blue Jackets in the third period at American Airlines Center on March 04, 2021 in Dallas, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

John Tortorella Doesn’t Know How To Be Any Other Way

Better Hate An Owner

Eugene Melnyk Never Met A Problem He Couldn’t Make Worse

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 05: Brendan Smith #42 of the New York Rangers chats with Zdeno Chara #33 of the Washington Capitals during the second period at Madison Square Garden on May 05, 2021 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)